Um. OK

I overheard a couple of women talking about the situation in Haiti the other day while I was waiting in line at the grocery store. One of them actually said what I am about to type. I am not joking.

"How come they need all of our money? What is wrong over there, don't they have Target or Walmart or some kind of store like that?"


yeah...

I'm feel like tattle-telling

Because someone needs to hear about this and there was no one around to whom I could bitch about it.

There are very little things I despise in this world more than pollution. I realize some pollution can't be avoided. But when I see people leave their garbage all over MY beach and flick their cigarettes out the car window(I mean, we're only driving GASOLINE-FILLED vehicles) I make sure to give them the evil eye, if they happen to be looking my way. Last week the wind was blowing a ton of seaweed from the Sargasso Sea and with it all the crap people must be throwing off their boats or dumping on their beaches. Nasty people.

I first encountered this bottle.


At first I got excited because maybe there's a message in it....maybe I was wrong. Upon closer inspection I notice it said Havana Club on it. Does this mean it floated here all the way from Cuba? Is there such a drink that can be bought here in the US called Havana Club? I just want to pretend the answer is no because at least then this is pollution I can maybe get excited about.







More bottles with no messages inside.....

Someone's big gulp.


And the cherry on top was this nasty shoe. I did not find it's mate.

If you see the people who did this, you tell them I'm not very happy with them right now because I hate cleaning up after people.

Random is as Random does

-I got an email inviting me to a high school reunion. My 15th year high school reunion. Well, well, well. It's pretty odd to get an invitation in October for an event that is going to happen in June but I suppose it;s like a wedding invite where you need to plan around. I'm feeling pretty indifferent about it since I already keep in touch with the people I had wanted to and frankly don't care one way or another to hear about the rest. High school was for me as with anyone, shitty most of the time with a few really great memories. I probably can't fit back into my cheerleader uniform but I was never a huge fan of the school colors anyway. I'm not going to go and I'm not exactly sure why I should feel bad about it since everyone I've told about it says,"No! No! You should really go." It's not so much that I'm LOATHE to go, it's just I don't see the point, there's not going to be anyone there I'm dying to see and since I moved back here, I run into just about everybody anyway. Do you disagree?



-Confession: I accidentally ran over some one's newly paved driveway the other day on my bicycle. Really though, not much harm done because the pave guy(I don't know what the job title was but he was nice to me) was able to fix it since it wasn't completely dry. Still though, I felt bad about it. Absolve me Internets.


-Um. Last week while I was looking for shark teeth, this guy came up to me bragging about his find. That was fine. But when he started with his lectures and instructions about how wrong I'm going about it I had to shut him down by reaching into my pouch pocket. My smallest one was bigger than his biggest one. Does size matter? Absolutely when you've got some jerk in your face telling you what to do and talking out of his ass. I hate when men do that to me, actually everyone does this to me. Just because I'm small and smiley, I must be stupid and in need of guidance. I wrote about this before, small people of the world, you know what I'm talking about. You guys know my shark teeth prowess, I don't need to tell you guys about it.

-Speaking of shark teeth hunting, I wonder how I must look to people who may happen to look out the window and spot me. Big floppy hat, green bathing suit, pink flip flops. Yellow pouch worn sideways that my husband makes fun and says makes me look like a crossing guard. Eyes furtively looking around, head down, shoulders crunched, staggering like a drunk person, gleefully giggling with every find and quickly putting in my bag before anyone sees because I'm stingy like that. Oh and don't forget my pepper spray conspicuously clipped to my bag so as to warn Psychoman if he decides to try it. Or do I look like Psychoman?


-The other day my sister said this to me:

Her: My gawd! You went to the beach again? What the hell, Angel how many shark teeth do you need?

Me: Wellll, it's just that.....low tide was at 1.... and ...and... and the North wind is picking up so I thought...

~~~pause~~~~(defiantly) well guess what?! I'm going again tomorrow!

Her: You're going to drive yourself blind girl. You need to calm down.

Me: SO?!

Her: Didn't you just go Monday? What do you do with all those shark teeth- put them in a damn bowl and sit there whispering,"mine mine all mine?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LONG PAUSE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Me: SO!!!!?


Yeah. It's that important to me.

It's getting too serious lately, have a laugh at my expense

I don't mind.

Recently I was asked what my MOST EMBARRASSING moment of my life was. I thought, my word, do you have a few days cuz that's how long it's gonna take since I have so many. If you've been reading here for a long time(those of you who are still left) you might think it was the time I accidentally felt myself up in front of some prisoners. Um. Yeah. This kind of stuff always happens to me, be it my fault or not. But believe me, this does not even top my mortification list. I have one just as bad, maybe even worse- you decide.

The summer I lived in my very first apartment, I was 19 and I had a job at a fancy pants chocolateir shop. This place was so expensive and sheesheefoofoo, they did not even have price tags or any indicator for how much things costs. They just assume anyone shopping there has so much damn money, they know it's expensive chocolate so they don't need to ask(those were my manager's exact words). I loved making the chocolate and dipping the strawberries, pretzels all that stuff- I did everything. I put all the assortment boxes together and wrapped the solid forms with plastic wrap and ribbons. I even made ice cream. And truffels, OMG the truffels ok? The best perk was that I could eat anything I wanted as long as I didn't take it out of the store. Yes, you guys, an all you can eat chocolate buffet. I hearted this job. I didn't even mind that they made me wear a really ugly hot pink hat. Because it was such a small store, I worked mostly alone and I had my own key to the place so I could close up the shop on my own after weekday evening shifts and open the store on my Sunday shifts. I was the only girl employee. And one thing started to bother me about being the only girl employee. After about 2 months I started to notice my coworkers were not cleaning up after themselves and leaving HUGE, DISGUSTING messes for me to clean up at the end of their shifts. Anyone out there ever clean up gobs of dried chocolate stuck to the floor? Not to mention the squished strawberries and nuts mixed in. It's not a whistle while you work kind of task. It took a while but, I finally got up the nerve to do something about it. I complained about it and my manager said that it's always the responsibility of the person who closes to clean up. I said,"No. When I work in the mornings, you guys always have a clean area when you come in because I clean up after myself. Fair is fair. I'm not every body's wife or mommie, I shouldn't have to clean up other people's sloppiness. Of course the store needs to be clean at close up, but this is food we're making here when it comes down to it and this room is disgusting." This was pretty bold of me, because I am a really passive person who's always too shy to rock the boat but that's how bad it was. But for a while it was ok. Then they got lazy again and this time I was ignored and treated like a whiny little girl. It started to make me feel more timid to even say anything at that point cuz I needed that job. So the day I knew I had another job lined up I went to eat lunch with my sister and was working myself up into such a state talking about that I finally said," that's it! I'm not going back there, not even to give those jerks a two weeks notice!" Of course because of how belittling he was to me the last time, I was too timid to just call my manager and say I quit, I'm not coming back. So me and my sister came up with this wonderful plan for her to call him and say, " Angel had to leave the country for a family funeral, she doesn't know when she'll be back." So she did. Big problem. I needed to pick up my last pay check and give them my key. Of course once again, I'm too chicken to do it because I just couldn't take his smartass smirk PLUS I'm supposed to be out of town remember? So my sister volunteers to do it for me but I have to come with her and hide in the car. We were too stupid at the time to park in the parking lot behind the building because my genius plan was just to crouch down in the car so no one could see me. My sister went in and came out empty handed because she said they refuse to give a check to any other person but me. So we're sitting there arguing back and forth because I wanted her to go back in there and demand my check as my sister and tell them all to screw themselves because obviously someone like me who crouches in a car so as not to be seen doesn't have enough nerve. We're still arguing about what to do next and I hear a tap tap on my window. There's my now former boss standing next to the car with my check. I said,"oh," and rolled down the window and he gave it to me not speaking. We then slowly drove away in hu-mil-i-a-tion. I can still see his smartass smirk in the rear view mirror to this day.

Yep. Big lesson learned: never lie in the place of sticking up for yourself. I should have easily sauntered in and told every one of those jerks where to go.

Losing it at the hospital is apparently my thing warning-to-easily-grossed-out-by-girly-things-men, this post contains the words 'tampon' and 'period'

-I almost slapped someone at the hospital where MrPea had his surgery the other day. Mind you, if you had been told to arrive at 7:30AM only to wait 7 hours before your husband's procedure started, forced to sit in the Cardio-Vascular waiting room full of right wing crazy people peeing in their pants watching Faux News crying out "sexist" every five minutes for another 7 hours, been the last person in the waiting room with no one giving any information as to where your husband is and if he's even still alive at this point, gone on a damn Odyssey just to get coffee because the right wing crazy family HOGGED ALL THE DAMN COFFEE(!), only to go on another damn Odessy looking for tampons when you're finally reunited with your LaLaLand drugged up(but doing ok) husband you might just feel like slapping someone too. Oh but that's not the whole story regarding the tampons. Yes my friends, I had to go look for tampons. Not before hand feeding my poor husband who wasn't suppossed to get out of bed or sit up the rest of the night some hospital food chicken and Mac and cheese, going up and down to the first floor(we were originally on the 2nd, then they moved him to the 4th to recover)to give my brother the keys to our place so that he could take care of Peanut. It had been over 9 hours since he'd been out and it didn't look like MrPea was going to be able to go home. Oh but that's not just it. This hospital is a friggin Labrynth ok. On my Tampon trip, I got on the elevator and pushed 1, to go down to the main lobby where I saw a gift shop and pharmacy on my search for coffee. Did this elevator go to the first floor? NO. It went to 5th floor. I wasn't paying attention since at this point I was half zombied with the stress of the day. I got off and started wandering around. I wandered for about ten minutes in this hospital from hell before a nurse told me I was on the wrong floor. Fine. I get to the first damn floor. Guess what. Everything is closed. I went up to the information desk and asked if there were any vending machines that sold toiletries. The two women working there gave me a blank stare. Forget it. I went to a receiving area and asked the same question. The two women there were apparently in the middle of an inside joke. Giggling, they could not even get an answer out. Finally after about half a minute one of them said no. I said is there anywhere I can go to get a few things for my husband and also feminine things. Laughing again. One of them spit out in a really smartassed voice,"You can go to Walgreens....."bursting out in another round of laughter. OK Time stopped for just a second and I envisioned myself jumping over the counter panther style and slapping this women and her little hyena laughing friend. Of course they both outweighed me by at least 30 pounds and being taller than me, would definitely have a longer reach so it's a good thing I did not. I'm pretty sure they assumed the evil look on my face was attributed to my being on my period and not how irritated I was being laughed at and how early a damn hospital pharmacy closed.


-Oh but that's not the end of it. Giving up, I finally went back to my husband's floor stopping first in the ladies room to see if they had a vending machine. Bingo! They did. But quickly my relief turned into full fledged maniac fury when the machine stole my last two quarters and gave me zero tampons. I cannot confirm or deny beating the machine with my elbow or kicking it Karate style, even though I've never had Karate lessons....

-Back in my husband's hospital room I calmed down, put on a smiling face for him and asked his nurse how to get to my car. I remembered I always keep a few extras in the glove box. (There are 3 parking lots and I was confused about which elevator to use and which walkway) He took about ten minutes and gave me 3 different maze scenarios before seeing the confusion on my face and said,"Or you could just go to the first floor and walk outside to the next building behind the second garage." I said,"Well, it's dark outside right now, we're in (name of scary downtown neighborhood) and I'd like to not get murdered on the way to my car...." (I just wanted to get some freakin tampons ok?! )

-In the end I figured the way out by myself and was able to retrieve the damn tampons. Did I learn any lessons? NO. Know why? BECAUSE MAYBE I WOULD HAVE BROUGHT EXTRA DAMN TAMPONS IF I HADN'T BEEN TOLD TO COME IN AT 7 DAMN 30 IN THE MORNING FOR A 2 HOUR PROCEDURE WITH A HIGH POSSIBILITY OF MY HUSBAND GOING HOME.... That's why. Or you can just blame my bad temper on my period, whatevs.

I never get a Thanks

When someone does something really stupid and then gets hurt as a result of that stupid something, I usually have a hard time feeling sorry. Don't get me wrong, I feel sorry but my pity comes more from the fact that that person is so stupid than the fact that he/she got hurt. Call me a bitch, I guess.

I save the softest part of my heart for children and pets of stupid people. Those are the ones I feel the sorriest for. I could never sit back and let something bad happen to a child or helpless animal because of her parent's/owner's stupidity. I actually saved a child's life once and instead of thanking me his STUPID mother was mean to me. A long time ago I was in a laundromat waiting for my clothes to dry. A woman came in with a little boy who was about 2 or 3. There was a front and back door and the front door was facing a tiny parking lot and very busy street. I was sitting next to the front door reading a book and mentally babysitting this child because he was playing with some mini METAL cars next to some ELECTRICAL OUTLETS. I also want to add that she was dressed fairly nice but for whatever reason decided not to put any clothes except a diaper on her kid, and he had no shoes or socks on, even though it was 60 degrees outside. I also want to add that she had perfect makeup on, but didn't think wiping the ketchup from her son's face was a good idea. After about 5 minutes, the mother decided to go to the back door to smoke and flirt with a man who was repairing the screen who made a nasty comment about my legs just ten minutes before. No she did not bring her little boy with her. She just left him there with me, a PERFECT STRANGER. I assumed she was watching him from where she was-a big assumption. He kept calling,"Momma! Momma!" After a minute he just ran out the front door into the parking lot towards the street. Without even looking to see if his mother was coming I ran out after him just in time to grab him before he reached the street. When I brought him to his mother, she hadn't even noticed what the hell had just happened and was still there puffing away. When I told her what happened and handed her her little boy she said nothing for a few seconds a gave me the dirtiest, bitchiest look and said,"I thought he was with you!" I wanted to slap her, there I was freaking out, my heart beating a thousand times a minute and she's pissed off at me like it's my fault. Ok this was almost ten years ago and I still can't come up with a response to that. Why the hell I was non-verbally assigned to babysit for someone I'd never met in my life for free, I don't know. I didn't even say anything, I just went back to my book. Because of this I have bad feelings towards laundromats and we've never again lived in a place that didn't have a washer and dryer. OK and before any parents go and tell me about kids and how fast they are even under the strictest surveillance, I have 6 nephews ok. 6. I can garan-damn-tee that neither of my sisters, one of whom still smokes, have never been interested in hanging out at the back door of a laundromat flirting with a trashy guy thinking everything was fine because a PERFECT STRANGER was watching her kid.

Well this happened to me AGAIN. TODAY! Mr.Pea and I were eating lunch at a restaurant on their outdoor patio. A couple brought their dog and tied him to a chair. They both went inside to order. Why they tied him to a chair under the HOTDAMN 90 degree Florida sun with no shade and both needed to go inside, I don't know. Especially since they both looked like intelligent people. The poor lab was obviously trying to be a good boy since they told him to stay but was so hot and wanted to lay down about 2 more feet away under a tree. I went over to move the chair for him after a couple minutes because I couldn't take it anymore. Suddenly the guy comes out and says,"What's going on?" Like I'm trying to steal or something. I said, "He was trying to pull the chair to lay down in the shade so I was moving it." He looked at me like I was trying to murder someone. I said,"I'm not trying to steal him or anything." I was trying to make him laugh since apparently I must look like a criminal up to no good. I thought he would get it and say, oh ok thanks. He just said in a mean voice," Yeah well, we're all hot. Come here boy, it's ok."

F- YOU! Ok I didn't say that but I wanted to. I did however, smirk, when the dog walked to the shade on his own and laid down wagging his tail and looking at me. poor dog. At that point, I would have stole him, if I could have, just so he wouldn't have to have such a jerk for an owner.

It's Offiicial

As of 8am this morning, I am radioactive. I haven't experienced any special powers but I did manage to stare someone down in a parking lot. yes!

This only lasts a few days so any special powers would be temporary.....but so far, none. Dammit.

- I accidentally interrupted a make-out session the other day at the library.(!) Two teenagers were getting down on some bean bags in the young adult section. They gave me a mean look but I couldn't help but laugh at them. What, was the grocery store too loud for you guys? At least they were being age and section appropriate so I approve. And I didn't tell on them.


-The people who live directly downstairs from us are here. They are snowbirds and usually stay only a few weeks. I feel a little sorry for them living under us because Peanut likes to run back and forth down the hallway and bounces over the bed for extra show off points when he's happy about something. This happens maybe 2 times a week and last for about 2 or 3 minutes. I don't do anything to discourage him when he gets into one of his happy stampedes because although he gets plenty of exercise, he's the only one out of his litter that lives in a condo and not a farm. So I feel like a good 2 minute joy-run is not too much to ask for. He was taking steroids again last week so all kinds of jumping was going on. They still wave and smile to me from the balcony when they see us walking so I don't think it bothers them. Yet.

-I HATE cooking. The thing is, I'm really good at it. But I HATE it. I do. What's funny is I'm really vain about it and like nothing more than hearing my cooking complimented. I really have no point in saying all this, it's just that it was on my mind. :O)

-It's finally clear enough tomorrow for me to get to the beach and I'm excited. My feet are killing me but I don't care. It's going to be windy and probably a little cold and I don't care. The latest red tide report said low to medium and I don't care. I'm going dammit.



I hope everyone had a safe and fun Halloween yesterday, I was feeling sick so I feel like a total loser for not having any fun, drunken, slutty costume stories(I was planning to be a mouse-not a slutty one just a regular one) but oh well.

Should I feel insulted?

I always bring a book with me when I go out by myself just in case I find myself having to wait for something or someone. Today on my way home from an art supply store Mr.Pea called and asked me to pick up some barbecue take out. After I gave my order, the guy who took it told me it would take about 15 minutes and pointed to the Starbucks on the other side of the parking lot. I said I would just wait on a bench and pointed at my book. He looked at me like I was an alien and said(incredulously I want to add),"You read?!"

I didn't say anything back since I don't know what kind of response that question called for.

Not feeling well again

Not cancer related, just feeling a bit sick. I'll be up to my old tricks in a couple days. I'm supposed to have one more radio-iodine pill in December and assuming my body scan comes out clean, after that I should be finished. Then my doctor and I will be able to figure out a more balanced dosage of thyroid hormone so I can feel normal once more. It hasn't been so bad though, I just like to indulge in acting the baby so everyone can feel extra sorry for me.(wink)


Weird things have happened, the past couple weeks. First the crazy lady at the library who I offended. Then some creepy man was following me around at Big Lots. This was an incident I deemed unblogworthy since every woman on this planet has the same experience, just at a different location. (Ladies are you nodding your head and conjuring up the past? Ok, just insert my little face into your experience and pretend it was at Big Lots and that's what happened.) Also, few days ago, I lost my temper and called some poor man an idiot. I won't go into the details because it was so silly and I admit that I was wrong. (In my defense I don't think he heard me) But that's not the end of it. Today someone flipped me off. My offense you ask? I had just picked up some pasta for my MrPea since I was too lazy to cook today and was parked in the restaurant parking lot, applying lip gloss. Yup. A bearded man I've never seen in my life who had just dropped, I'm assuming a waitress off drove by and since I was using the rear view mirror I saw him stick his middle finger up and made a mean face. I looked around to see if maybe there was someone else he could have meant that for but I was the only one in the parking lot. I can only assume that I was the victim of mistaken identity. Or perhaps he was crazy lady at the library's total BFF. Or maybe he was against lip gloss on principle. He could also have just been picking his nose and not flipping me off at all. It could any one of those explanations. I prefer to think he was the guy who I called an idiot's brother. That way, a middle finger would have been warranted. In this case, I can forgive. It's not likely though because the guy who I called an idiot was fairly handsome, tall and had dark hair and this guy was blond and had scary eyes and a scraggly beard. But I forgive him anyway.



OH! And I just found out it's Delurk Day. So, ya know, Delurk already dears.

Saturday Random

-I saw that documentary everyone (on both sides) was freaking out about a few months ago, Jesus Camp last night. It didn't creep me out as much as I was told it would but I have to admit, I was pretty disturbed. And I was raised in a strict, religious home. I'd like to see the makers of this film catch up with these kids in 10 or 15 years and see if they still feel the way they do.

-Mr.Pea and I sometimes fight over who loves Peanut more, me or him. He lets Peanut walk all over him, gives him food from his plate, warms up his blanket in the dryer, and pretty much gives Peanut whatever he wants so he thinks he loves Peanut more. I'm the one who (badly)trained him, takes him to the doctor, makes sure he takes his meds and gets plenty of exercise, plus I'm the one who gives him his bath so it has to be me. But the real argument is, who does Peanut love more?

-Speaking of Peanut, sometimes if he asks for a treat, the one I give him isn't good enough for him. Like he wanted the chicken treat and I gave him a milkbone. He'll turn his face away as if disgusted and shocked I would even think of giving him such an inferior snack. So I'll just say," Oh you don't want it? OK I'll give it to [Mr.Pea] then. Here [Mr.Pea], Peanut hates this so you can have it." Suddenly Peanut wants it.

-I used to think I would do really well on Survivor. I figure because of my size and the fact that I smile all the time, people always think I'm harmless. So no one would find me a threat and vote me off and I would run away with the million dollars. But since I've never even been camping before nor have I ever felt the desire to do so, made me think, hmm maybe not. I'm also a picky eater who thinks everything is gross so I would probably end up passing out from malnutrition after the first day. Plus besides cheerleading, I was never that good of an athlete. Since I've never seen them have any cheer challenges, I don't think any of my skills would come in handy. I noticed on the scenes for next week's show, they had some kind of 'wrestling each other' challenge. Nope, don't wrestle either. So it's just not going to happen. I'll have to make my million dollars another way.


-I'm starting to get my balcony "coffee ready." I'm still off the crack, I mean coffee, since it's still too hot for warm drinks but it's good to be prepared. There was a big, ugly satellite dish out there that drove me completely insane every time I looked at it, which was everyday since it was right in front of the sliding glass door. The guy that installed it did the most redneck job I've ever seen but that's another story. The point is, I moved it and put a hibiscus plant there instead. And since I've been bitching about the fact that winter is coming to doom us all, at least I have something to look forward to: coffee on the balcony in my favorite chair wrapped in a blanket....Hopefully the jerk downstairs won't be revving his loud obnoxious motorcycle for hours like he did last year always at the very time I'm out there.

-I ran into Humongous Toad again yesterday. This time he was hiding behind a wooden post. I feel bad, I probably scared him, taking all these pictures of, but I can't help it. I wonder what he's been eating or if he comes from a nuclear facility.

I don't usually do this

But this guy deserved it because he was walking around the beach harassing young girls. I don't like to make fun of people's fashion choices, it's not nice and not something I find funny. HOWEVER, if you're looking at this picture and thinking," oh SH*#!That's me", let me give you some advice: If you're goal is to walk around the beach to harass teenage girls, it's probably not a good idea to do it in a fluorescent orange bikini bottom. In fact try not to go to JAIL and just hit on 18 year olds, but go out and buy some shorts first. You can get some at Walmart for $9.99--I saw some last week,OK? By the way, for future reference, women don't get turned on by men in bikinis licking their lips and making obscene tongue gestures at them. Now go home and tell all your friends please.


This post is dedicated to Ms.Maurey Pierce who, a few weeks ago wrote pure poetry about who I think might be this guy's cousin.

And remember this guy? I think he might be a cousin as well.

Luna Moth Car Wash

My mom went to the Philippines for a long visit with her family and gave me her car to keep while she is away. It badly needed a wash and vacuum so I went out early today to do it myself before the heat has a chance to melt me. Ok, before I go on I want to say 2 things: 1.I'm not man-bashing, I love you guys, you guys are great.(so long as you all know your place...ok I'm only kidding..or am I) 2.I'm not complaining about my height. I love being petite, I wouldn't be taller than the 4feet 11inches that I am for all the money in supermodel land. Never. Ok.
The thing about being petite, in my experience is there are certain people who think because you are short, you need help all the time....because you're helpless and probably dumb. Since you're the same size as a child, you should be treated like one. I understand this and really it doesn't bother me especially since there are so many benefits to having people feel this way about you. Like when you need to play stupid to get information out of someone-information they wouldn't give you if they knew you were smart enough to do something with said info, not that I'm that devious but I'm just saying...it can come in handy, ok but that's besides the topic. And men. Well, I think because I'm small, they think they need to protect me, or help me all the time. There's nothing wrong with this but there's a certain kind of patronizing way of helping someone that I get a lot because of my small stature.
So as I was saying, I washed my mom's car this morning-dressed decently before anyone comments that these people may have been flirting! It's not a fancy car and it's not new. I didn't want to detail the damn thing, just clean it up a little. A few people stopped by, I'm assuming because they think I'm a tiny and helpless complete idiot, to let me know in the most patronizing tone of voice how to wash a damn car. Do I look like a stupid fool? Apparently.

Car#1. Um...excuse me? Yeah you need to start from the top and work your way to the bottom.That's how you're supposed to do it. Me: Well, I can't reach the top so it's going to have to stay dirty, plus I don't really care that much but thanks. Car#2. Hey are you planning to wash your car? Yeah, You gotta make sure the soap doesn't dry in the sun before you rinse. It's bad for the paint. Me: Well, that's why I parked in the shade. The paint is already faded anyway so it doesn't really matter. Thanks. Car#3. You're not using dish soap are you? Not a good idea. Me: No it's not, it's car soap. I've washed plenty of cars in my lifetime without incident but thanks for the advice. I'm pretty sure everything will be ok.
Was kinda bitchy, wasn't it? Especially since two of these people are old enough to be my grandpas. I made a decision a long time ago not to give out any unasked for advice ever again and this reinforced it.

The best part of the day was when I was finished and reparked next to the mailboxes and saw this. A luna moth. I didn't know they could be found here since I'd never seen one before. Isn't it pretty? I only had my cell phone cam but the pic came out ok, right?

The painter in me was wishing it had chosen to stick to a more contrasting color but it's probably dead so I shouldn't criticize.....

Hacking ruined my night

Last night MrPea and I went to see Pirates3, well I should say we tried to. When we go to the movies, we try to get there early because my tall,long-legged husband is most comfortable near the aisle. My 4'11" self could care less as long as I have extra butter on my salty as hell popcorn and the people behind me don't put their nasty feet on the back of my chair or next to me. On my way to get said popcorn that costs a damn arm and leg, I stopped by the bathroom and I could hear someone in one of the stalls coughing really loud. I thought to myself," I recognize that cough. I had that cough just weeks ago. Sounds like she's got that never ending dry cough when one gets rid of a nasty flu, poor thing.(Then selfishly)Oh, I hope she's not watching the same movie I am...." Sure enough, when I got back with our munchies MrPea whispered to me(in French so as not to hurt her feelings because we're polite like that),"There's someone sick in here, coughing. Do you want to move?" I don't mean a little, "heff, heff" every five minutes, this women was hacking loudly every 5 seconds. By this time the theatre had filled up so unless we wanted to blind ourselves by sitting in the front row, there was really no where else to go. I said,"Maybe she'll stop."

-15 minutes into the movie I thought to myself,"Surely she'll pop a cough drop or something."
-30 minutes: "Wow she's really hacking it up, surely she figure out it's disturbing and excuse herself. She should see a doctor."
45 minutes: "Great. I'm going to catch her disease."
1 hour: "How rude! She has to know how distracting this is. She should really leave! If I hear her cough one more time I'm going to strangle myself. I don't even know what the hell is going on this movie because I can't hear a damn word over her infernal effing coughing!"

We weren't the only ones who were annoyed. I saw more than a few people turn around in the dark to see who it was and heard people whispering things they wish would happen to that woman that I won't repeat here. Finally we looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and just left. I guess most people would have said something or complained to the manager but really what good would it have done? We probably should have just left right away and came back another time or tried to trade our tickets for a later showing but, naively, I always believe the best in people. That really, most people are polite and care about whether or not they are ruining someone else's good time. I truly believed that she would figure out her coughing was disturbing everyone and excuse herself because that's what a polite person would do. That woman had to know that her coughing was ruining the movie for just about everyone in that theatre. Actually she knew and she didn't care otherwise she would not have went to the movies in the first place. I get disgusted by that kind of attitude:"Well I'm having a good time, screw everyone else!" When I'm sick,which, if you've been reading here a while, is often, I quarantine myself because 1.nobody wants my sick germs 2.the coughing and sniffling is gross and rude 3.my grandma taught me good manners dammit!

But anyway.....I got over it.

We went to get some hot wings since it was still a nice night and I didn't really feel like going home yet. I wasn't very hungry so I just ordered some squash and had a couple of MrPea's wings. Big mistake(the squash not the wings) because at 3 in the morning I woke feeling soooo nauseous and crawled to the bathroom to do some hacking of my own.(sorry if I grossed you out) Food poison, my favorite. I even fainted in the hallway as a cherry on top. I'm not sure how long I lay there, wondering if I should curse the restaurant where we ate or the hooping cough disease infested, germ spreading, Johnny Depp movie ruining bitch!(and you know how I feel about Johnny) After a while I felt ok enough to run some water over my face and wet a wash cloth to put over my forehead so that I could go back to sleep. If you're wondering why I didn't call for my husband to come to my aid, it's because he's been through so much, worrying over and nursing all my sicknesses in the past damn year(and lately there has been a worrisome occurrence that may or may not be related to my thyroid cancer that I will post about later that has us a little concerned) I just didn't want him to wake up to his wife passed out and suffering on the floor in the damn hallway. I'm pretty sure one of these things would have happened: him having a complete total nervous breakdown or him freaking out and rushing me unnecessarily to the emergency room. But all is well now. I went back to sleep, not before explaining to him, the light sleeper he is, what happened. I'm feeling better. He didn't get sick so I'm thinking it was the effing squash. So I don't send any curses to anyone. It wouldn't be polite.

:o)

Thanks Neighbor, I only wanted 3 hours of sleep anyway

Condo-land...it's fun.


I have decided to blame anything that goes wrong today on the jerks in my building who decided to blast crappy,redneck music with some loud friends at full volume until 3AM last night. I'm not sure who it was because I didn't want to disturb Mr.Pea by walking around looking out the window. I'm pretty sure it's either LadyNextDoorWhoHatesMe -OR- GuyDownStairsWhoThinksHe'sDonJohnsonCircaMiamiVice. I'm leaning towards LadyNextDoorWhoHatesMe but it could be MrMiamiVice because he has no problem making loud noises with his obnoxious motorcycle at any hour of the day. So again, I have decided to blame anything that goes wrong and how shitty I feel today on whoever it was.

At least Peanut was a good boy at his doctor appointment today. Do you think it's a coincidince that my dog and I started having health problems at the same time?

Laziness & I guess I should say something about Earth Day(which was yesterday but better late than never right)

A couple things make me LIVID! I might have a point in here somewhere. Let me know if I do or not. Basically these are just random thoughts that may or may not have something to do with the environment but mostly it's about laziness. A characteristic that I'm both fond of(because I am)and loathe. This isn't a rant or bitch-fest, this isn't even a political statement, just a few things I witnessed yesterday, then found out it was Earth Day. I used to be really passionate about these issues back before they were issues. 13 years ago I once hid in some bushes like a little elf so I could take pictures of a sick dolphin that was being neglected by its owners, a nasty resteraunt, that used the dolphin to attract customers but that's a story for another day.

* I should note that I used to smoke so I understand the whole, it's an addiction thing, before anyone gets mad at me. But! WHY WHY WHY is it so hard to walk an extra couple of steps to put the cigarette in the ashtray instead of stepping on it then leaving it there? And since I'm on the subject WHY WHY WHY is it absolutely necessary to flick cigarettes out the window while driving? Cars contain OIL and GASOLINE, very flamable, any 4th grader knows that. Not to mention Smokey The Bear always told us to remember our friends in the forest and only WE can prevent forest fires-hello!!?

*The same can be asked about people who enjoy a day at the beach then leave all of their trash when they leave.There's only a trash can located at every entrance, is it that hard to carry beer cans and chip bags a few feet? They're now empty so it should be a lighter load than at arrival! And no one noticed the HUGE SIGNS saying not to leave any plastic bags because the ENDANGERED sea turtles will eat them thinking they are jellyfish then suffocate???

*My husband and I ate lunch at my favorite Caribean resteraunt. I saw people changing a diaper on the table next to us. It didn't really bother me because I wasn't eating with them but, gross. Later, I saw the same people drop the dirty diaper in the parking lot and leave it there. Nasty people, I swear. I thought about taking a picture so I could blog about it but then realised I was actually thinking about taking a picture of a dirty diaper.


This was today but it still sort of applies.
*I timed myself to see how long it would take to walk to the grocery store. (I wanted to make my mother-in-law's famous spaghetti sauce and I just needed one more thing) I did this because on my way down the stairs, I ran into one of my neighbors and we chatted for a minute. When I told her I was walking to the store, she and her friend looked at me like I was crazy and asked me if I wouldn't rather ride with them later on. Why walk, she asked, I can drive you, I need to get some milk anyway. I said because it's sunny and breezy. No response. I said, I do it all the time, the store's just right there. She sort of gave her friend a look which I am too lazy and don't care enough about it to interpret. Is it actually really that crazy to (gasp!) walk somewhere? I checked the time and it was 2:46. I walked into the store entrance at 2:49. I thought to myself in an imaginary 2nd conversation with my neighbor,"you mean to tell me that you are too lazy to walk for a total of 6 minutes to the store and back for a friggin pint of milk?"

This is just my opinion but-
There's good laziness and then there's bad laziness. On the weekends I like to lay on the beach. I can lay there for hours. I listen to music and drink apple juice, I'll even feed a bird or 3-this is good lazy. Once, a boyfriend I had actually wanted to get into his car and drive to the end of the mall because he was looking for a certain store, instead of just walking-this is bad lazy. I just laughed at him and said let's walk, so we walked. This was a little test. No boyfriend of mine is going to stay my boyfriend if he's that lazy. To me, that's the difference.

BTW-that boyfriend is now my husband. I still tease him about that. And just in case you got worried, the dolphin was taken away from them and relocated-I don't remember if he ended up at Sea World or a seaquarium nearby.

Cabin Fever-sort of

Winter here is, thankfully, damn near OVAH! I'm looking forward to putting the thick socks and long sleeves away and breaking out the flipflops and short shorts. I'm tougher than I used to be in waiting out the last couple weeks of winter. Especially since spending a looooong winter in Canada a couple years ago. I came really close to having a complete breakdown on Easter that year, but that's a story for another day. Ever since then, I made a promise to myself never to complain about being cold and I sort of broke it the other day but only for a minute.

I've been bitching about my health lately and I'm not doing that now, I promise but the subject I do want to bitch about is related-kind of. So here's the thing-and it doesn't really bother me that much-but it happens every single day. I live amongst a lot of retirees and people of all ages who've moved here from places like New Jersey or New York, Michigan, Illinois,Ohio- basically cold and wintry places. I'm proud to share my town and my home state-I don't blame them, if I lived somewhere else, I'd want to move here too. Here's where my health comes into play-I have no temperature control since my thyroid was removed. I'm cold all the damn time. Then sometimes I'll get hot for no reason. But I'm pretty much freezing if the temperature drops below 70. I walk my dog at least 4 times a day. It's good exercise for the both of us and I'm still having a hard time recovering so it's good for me to be able to get outside because I get antsy sitting at home all the time, convalescing. I have to wear gloves, scarf and a hat because I can't tolerate the cold-being cold makes it hard for me to breathe and the last thing I need right now is to catch a flu. The people around here look at me like I'm a damn insane asylum escapee because I'm cold. Ok I get it-you're from where it's really cold so you can walk around in shorts and t-shirts and I'm the village idiot walking around with ear muffs! You're in the cool people section because you're from a real city with real seasons and I'm the wimpy, scarf toting, hood wearing bumpkin-happy now?
Like I said it doesn't ruin my existence but it's everyday. I've been trying to snap pictures of them but I'm not sure how to do it on the sly. Some of them already think I'm a complete fool because I once tripped and fell into the lake in front of the senior citizens' bus(that was so embarassing) but again, that's a story for another day.

Shhhhh!

I have an almost holy reverance for libraries. I give dirty looks to people in the library who make noise. Why, just yesterday I was in the new arrivals section when two people were behind me making all kinds of ruckus in the DVD aisle. They probably didn't notice my intimidating 4'11" frame but I enjoyed giving them dirty looks anyway. They quieted down and I decided we didn't need to throw down. It was my pleasure. I'm pretty sure I could've taken them.