Here's my story and I'm stickin' to it

Daddy, either close your eyes or just picture someone else. Or just skip this post all together. So long as you know this was a total accident.

This isn't that wonderfull so I hope ya'll aren't too excited but it might give you a tiny laugh. This is the kind of embarassing stuff that ALWAYS happens to me.



Last year I rode my bike to library as I do at least once a week. It was noon and in the middle of July so it was about 90+ degrees outside. I had my bathing suit on under my clothes because I was planning to ride over to the beach right after. I want to say first off that I did not notice any sign saying there were prison workers anywhere, probably because I wasn't paying attention. I was in the middle of locking up my bike when I noticed that the library had begun to build a really beautiful deck overlooking the lake so I remember being really happy about that. Then somehow I hit my chest really hard on the handle bars and any woman knows how much getting hit in that soft area hurts, only comparable to a man getting kicked in the...you know. It was that bad ok. So there I am rubbing with both hands where I hit myself and looking in my shirt to see if it was red enough to show a bruise later on. Then I realized I wasn't by myself and I looked up and saw 5 or 6 men in those BLACK and WHITE STRIPED JUMPSUITS(I thought they only wore those in cartoons!!) holding woodblocks and building supplies, watching me with their mouths open. In my mind, I pictured how I must look to these people: a girl in short shorts and a tank top with both hands in her bikini bra ooohing and ahing in pain. I. Wanted. To. Die. Right. There. I quickly muttered sorry and ran off to the library entrance. I'm not even sure who I was saying sorry to, probably my dead grandparents who had to be rolling in their graves to know that their own little EarthAngel just(accidently, I swear) groped herself in front of some prisoners. Great.

I could hear them whooping while I was running off, but what could I do, complain to the cops that I was being sexually harrassed? They were already in jail for pete's sake(first time I've ever used that expression but it seems fitting). Oh the mortification.

I'm probably going to erase this post in a couple days because the last thing I need is someone to arrive at this site from some filthy google search! Hahaha!

Have fun making fun of me. It won't hurt my feelings.