Monday, April 09, 2007

Here's my story and I'm stickin' to it

Daddy, either close your eyes or just picture someone else. Or just skip this post all together. So long as you know this was a total accident.

This isn't that wonderfull so I hope ya'll aren't too excited but it might give you a tiny laugh. This is the kind of embarassing stuff that ALWAYS happens to me.



Last year I rode my bike to library as I do at least once a week. It was noon and in the middle of July so it was about 90+ degrees outside. I had my bathing suit on under my clothes because I was planning to ride over to the beach right after. I want to say first off that I did not notice any sign saying there were prison workers anywhere, probably because I wasn't paying attention. I was in the middle of locking up my bike when I noticed that the library had begun to build a really beautiful deck overlooking the lake so I remember being really happy about that. Then somehow I hit my chest really hard on the handle bars and any woman knows how much getting hit in that soft area hurts, only comparable to a man getting kicked in the...you know. It was that bad ok. So there I am rubbing with both hands where I hit myself and looking in my shirt to see if it was red enough to show a bruise later on. Then I realized I wasn't by myself and I looked up and saw 5 or 6 men in those BLACK and WHITE STRIPED JUMPSUITS(I thought they only wore those in cartoons!!) holding woodblocks and building supplies, watching me with their mouths open. In my mind, I pictured how I must look to these people: a girl in short shorts and a tank top with both hands in her bikini bra ooohing and ahing in pain. I. Wanted. To. Die. Right. There. I quickly muttered sorry and ran off to the library entrance. I'm not even sure who I was saying sorry to, probably my dead grandparents who had to be rolling in their graves to know that their own little EarthAngel just(accidently, I swear) groped herself in front of some prisoners. Great.

I could hear them whooping while I was running off, but what could I do, complain to the cops that I was being sexually harrassed? They were already in jail for pete's sake(first time I've ever used that expression but it seems fitting). Oh the mortification.

I'm probably going to erase this post in a couple days because the last thing I need is someone to arrive at this site from some filthy google search! Hahaha!

Have fun making fun of me. It won't hurt my feelings.

8 comments:

super des said...

ha ha ha!
Though I'm sure I've done the same thing, I never did it in front of jailbirds! (Not that makes it more or less embarrassing!)

MsLittlePea said...

I'm sure it's a common story

Thailand Gal said...

Glad I got to see it before you deleted it. Oh, what a good laugh!

ROTFL!


Peace,


~Chani

Courtney said...

But on a positive note, that didn't happen to you on your last visit! I'm dying to know, were they out there by your bike when you left?

MsLittlePea said...

I know!! No they were gone.

I pay attention now.

Laurie said...

Well I'm glad you werent' too badly injured. I'm sure it was the highlight of the prison gangs day, week or year, though.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Sweet Pea, I'm sure you fueled their um, daydreams for many months to um, come.

But rest assured, they were aware of your presence even as you rode up, so they doubtless saw the whole thing and knew why you were groping yourself.

It isn't easy being green, er, clumsy, is it? (I speak from experience.)

Blondie said...

The most fascinating part of this story to me is how you slammed your chest into your handle bars?? You poor thing.

But that story is sooooo something that would happen to me. I do a lot of bizarre things in public that draw stares... :)