Saturday, September 29, 2007

Saturday Random

-I saw that documentary everyone (on both sides) was freaking out about a few months ago, Jesus Camp last night. It didn't creep me out as much as I was told it would but I have to admit, I was pretty disturbed. And I was raised in a strict, religious home. I'd like to see the makers of this film catch up with these kids in 10 or 15 years and see if they still feel the way they do.

-Mr.Pea and I sometimes fight over who loves Peanut more, me or him. He lets Peanut walk all over him, gives him food from his plate, warms up his blanket in the dryer, and pretty much gives Peanut whatever he wants so he thinks he loves Peanut more. I'm the one who (badly)trained him, takes him to the doctor, makes sure he takes his meds and gets plenty of exercise, plus I'm the one who gives him his bath so it has to be me. But the real argument is, who does Peanut love more?

-Speaking of Peanut, sometimes if he asks for a treat, the one I give him isn't good enough for him. Like he wanted the chicken treat and I gave him a milkbone. He'll turn his face away as if disgusted and shocked I would even think of giving him such an inferior snack. So I'll just say," Oh you don't want it? OK I'll give it to [Mr.Pea] then. Here [Mr.Pea], Peanut hates this so you can have it." Suddenly Peanut wants it.

-I used to think I would do really well on Survivor. I figure because of my size and the fact that I smile all the time, people always think I'm harmless. So no one would find me a threat and vote me off and I would run away with the million dollars. But since I've never even been camping before nor have I ever felt the desire to do so, made me think, hmm maybe not. I'm also a picky eater who thinks everything is gross so I would probably end up passing out from malnutrition after the first day. Plus besides cheerleading, I was never that good of an athlete. Since I've never seen them have any cheer challenges, I don't think any of my skills would come in handy. I noticed on the scenes for next week's show, they had some kind of 'wrestling each other' challenge. Nope, don't wrestle either. So it's just not going to happen. I'll have to make my million dollars another way.

-I'm starting to get my balcony "coffee ready." I'm still off the crack, I mean coffee, since it's still too hot for warm drinks but it's good to be prepared. There was a big, ugly satellite dish out there that drove me completely insane every time I looked at it, which was everyday since it was right in front of the sliding glass door. The guy that installed it did the most redneck job I've ever seen but that's another story. The point is, I moved it and put a hibiscus plant there instead. And since I've been bitching about the fact that winter is coming to doom us all, at least I have something to look forward to: coffee on the balcony in my favorite chair wrapped in a blanket....Hopefully the jerk downstairs won't be revving his loud obnoxious motorcycle for hours like he did last year always at the very time I'm out there.

-I ran into Humongous Toad again yesterday. This time he was hiding behind a wooden post. I feel bad, I probably scared him, taking all these pictures of, but I can't help it. I wonder what he's been eating or if he comes from a nuclear facility.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Biggest damn Amphibian I've ever seen in my life

Can you see his beady little eye? Peanut tried to catch him but I wouldn't let him. It's size really freaked me out. I wish I had thought to put a dollar bill or something next to it for measurement but I was afraid he jump away and scare the blood sugar out of me again. This badboy was huge. His face alone was bigger than my fist. I could have got a better shot if he hadn't decided to hide in the tall grass. I've never seen a toad that size before unless it was some one's pet. I'm not sure what species it is, but I'll try to look it up ...who knows, maybe he was some one's pet. He does have a nice pattern on his back.

(click to enlarge, if this kind of stuff doesn't gross you out)

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I guess I should change my name from MsLittle Pea to Ms Inappropriate

Something strange happened. Yesterday a lady around my age came up to me at the library and told me I was dressed inappropriately. That I should have more respect for the library and her kids and cover up. She was pretty angry. I was so taken aback and frankly weirded out by how angry she was at me, all I could think of to say was,"Oh, I'm sorry." I went into the bathroom to check if anything was sticking out, fell out, or if my underwear was showing. I even took a picture so I could get a second opinion later. I've never met or seen this woman in my life. So all I can think of is maybe she was on some medication or needed some. Now tell me, does this look like someone who has no respect for public libraries?(please excuse the smartass smirk, I couldn't help it)
The only thing I can think of that maybe was offensive about my clothes were my brown flipflops. Flipflops are a little too casual, but hello!? I live in Florida: the sloppy-dress capital of North America! It actually reminded me of the South West Airlines mini skirt incident. At least she got an apology. Actually I don't want an apology I want to NOT run into that crazy woman ever again.....

Kermit agrees. When I got home from my indecent library visit, I noticed him on the stairway rails. Isn't he cute? Hope he got a few bugs to eat when the porch light came on.(those are one of my blurry brown flipflops by the way :O) )

AND I just wanted to say that CrazyLibraryPatron did NOT ruin my library experience. I still enjoyed myself there despite the weird encounter. Oh, and if anyone agrees with CrazyLady, please let me know, I promise it won't hurt my feelings and I won't wear that outfit to the library ever again.(I'm being serious)

Monday, September 24, 2007

I'd like to thank the Academy...and dedicate this award to my peeps

Heartinsanfransisco has been nice enough to award me with a Nice Award! Since it's a nice award I guess gloating is out of the question........

I'm supposed to pass it on to 5 of my peeps. Hmmm, who is nice???.....oh yeah, I don't hang around mean people. Every person from my cool people section deserves this award. Well except maybe....just kidding-I had you for a second there didn't I??

I included both award pics like hearts did so people can choose which one they like. I lean a little towards this one because that cat looks like a smartass and you all know my affinity for smartasses. It was made by Big Brother over at Life in the Twilight Zone. I've never met him in my life but I though it was proper to give credit.

Well it sucks that the rules said 5 dammit. But these 5 were my first blog friends so since it is a nice award.....feel free to pass it on or not.

Laurie from Don't MAKE me get my flying monkeys actually was the very first blogger to befriend me. She is so very dedicated to her family and loved ones. So many of her posts are humbly filled with the deeds she does for them and how much she cares for them. She always has beautiful pictures of her surroundings and something interesting to say. In her most recent post she leaves an address to send cards or letters to her father in his new home. This is a perfect example of the kind of person she is.

Thailand Gal's blog is one of the most thought provoking blogs I've ever been lucky enough to stumble upon. Her kind of thought provocation usually aims us inward than out. Even when she writes about a hot button issues, her words always seem to force us to think about ourselves, our place in the world and how we contribute to or take from it. Her descriptions of her heart's home, Thailand, and her love for a culture she wasn't born into but adopted, give people who don't feel they have a place in the world, inspiration to create one on their own.

Hel, from Truth Cycles, writes so vividly and so poetically about(literally) everything under the sun in her home in South Africa. Her hopes and fears for her self, her country and its people can be seen in her photos as well. She is someone who is not afraid to show vulnerability in her true spirit and someone who finds herself in nature. This measly little paragraph doesn't even do justice to how visual her writing is. AND her photos of her beautiful dogs appeals to the dog lover in me.

Super Des from The Wonderful World of Des is one of the funniest, 'smartassiest' bloggers on the block. Her humor in everyday situations and the people in them leave me cracking up again when I encounter the same things on my own. I like that her humor is so honest but not mean. She also likes to make up her own words, just like I do.

Flutter is one of the most talented writers...I don't even have good enough words to describe. Sometimes, I'll be reading a post and I feel like I'm reading one of my old Anais Nin diaries. Not because of the sensuality but the quiet sweetness of moments she shares with us. I feel privileged, like I've been let in on a secret. Her poetry is like a soft breeze.

I'm not a good enough writer to really express how great these bloggers are so check them out. And while you're at it take a look at the rest of my peeps in the cool people section. My plan was to mention EVERYONE I linked with so as not to leave anyone out anyway. Until I saw what time it was and realized how hungry I forgive me if you feel that way. It's not that I value one above the other, it's just that I'm hungry:O)

By the way, I'm still working on interview questions for the rest of the people who asked and I'm not finished yet so give me a couple more days if I haven't got them out to you yet. I will, I haven't forgotten.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Ants dammit

I got attacked today. It was an all out assault on me. There was a declaration of war against me where I was an innocent party. Sort of. Some fire ants crawled onto my flip flopped feet and tried to annihilate me. In their defense, I did step on their nest. It was an accident though and one would think that they would at least open communications before marching off to combat dammit. I had no intention of hurting their queen and babies, what the hell did they think I was- a monster? I'm not talking little regular backyard ants, anyone who lives in the tropics will know what I'm talking about. These ones are ruthless and they inflict more than just a little bite that merely itches for a couple days at the worst. It really does burn when those little suckers bite. On a positive note, I did manage to brush off most of them. But not before they bit me about a thousand times leaving my feet BURNING for at least a half hour and now swollen with pink bumps all over. And dammit I was planning to wear some cute shoes tomorrow.

This is all Peanut's fault. He's the one who pulled me into that dirt hill chasing a lizard I was never going to let him catch anyway. He didn't even feel sorry for me as I jumped up and down screaming, tripping over my flip flops trying to get them off me before they crawled up my legs. No offer to help. Not even a concerned sniff. He just looked at me like I was an idiot and then moved on to inspect some dead animal in the bushes. I feel a little betrayed. My feet feel better now so I guess I shouldn't really feel sorry for myself. It could have been worse.

The wasps are beginning to build nests all over the buildings in my neighborhood again. And I'd like to have some words with whatever idiot decided to install regular light bulbs instead of outdoor light bulbs all over my building. It attracts every mosquito, gnat, beetle, spider, and palmetto(which is just a fancy way to say ROACH) to my door step that even those cute little glow in the dark geckos can't eat up for population control as they usually do. He's probably the same idiot that decided to use so much poison on the grounds that it actually kills the little varmints that prey on all the nasty bugs.

Also on the bright side, today was Thursday. Thirsty Thursday at Coldstone to be exact. My favorite milkshake is half off on Thirsty Thursdays so I don't have to feel so guilty about paying an arm and leg for it. Just for that I can say life is good.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Q&A Meme!

This meme's been going around and I've been jealous that I never thought of this first. These questions are courtesy of heartinsanfransisco and man, they were fun.

1. You are, happily for all of us, a cancer surviver. Did having such a serious illness make you re-think your priorities in terms of what was really important?

Yes and no because everything that was important to me before, was still important just more so. But I felt closer to the things I loved so much and was determined to stop telling myself,"When...then..." (As in, "when I have more money,more time,more energy etc, then I'll do this or that), and start start telling myself,"You've waited long enough, just do it already." One priority that changed was taking care of my self first. Like all 'nice' girls I was brought up to always defer to others. I no longer try to worry about that and try very hard to say what I mean or say no without hurting anyone. But I had to come to terms with the fact that I can't please everyone. It's still something I struggle with but I'm getting better. I'm more proud of myself now-that too.

Although I have to say, I don't really consider myself a cancer surviver in the same way as say a breast or lung cancer patient would. This is because the kind of cancer I was diagnosed with having doesn't normally kill people. The amount of aggression my cancer took on had me(and my doctors) believing 'it' was trying to kill me though. There was never a doubt in my mind that I would kick it's ass. But I was more afraid of the surgery and rightly so because there were so many complications. I went in for what is usually a 1-2 hour surgery and ended up having a 9 hour surgery and a really difficult recovery. So I feel more like I am a survivor of that. And I remember EVERYTHING about my surgery. While I was under I was aware of the fact that I was still in that hospital and maybe it was all just one long beautiful and scary dream but where I was, who I was with, what I was told is as vivid in my mind as if it were just hours ago. It haunts me and comforts me at the same time, but is still hard for me to put into words without losing something about it or feeling like an idiot, otherwise I would have posted about it by now! One of these days.

2. If dogs ran the world, which breed would be President? A movie star? A great athlete? A renowned chef? A talk-show host? A New Age author? A supermodel? A rap star?

HAH! Well we already have a delusional Chihuahua in the White House so I'd like to see a St. Bernard as the President-SMART, strong, dependable, good in an emergency and knows how to get us out of a damn dangerous avalanche while bringing brandy in a little barrel around his, or HER neck.

Movie Star-Jack Russels, like my Peanut make the best entertainers. They're also very good looking dogs that hump anything that moves so they already have that in common.

Athletes-Peanut will be mad at me for he's a wonderful athlete but for the sake of being non discriminating I'll say Greyhounds. They are strong, beautiful animals and their ancestors were even mummified and buried with their owners in ancient Egypt. There's an old man in my neighborhood who has two ex-racer rescue Greyhounds who always refers to them as 'the athletes' and is always driving them to the dog park and bragging about how his athletes want to stay in shape so this made me think of them.

Chef- Blood Hounds since they have such a good sense of smell and I don't eat anything if it doesn't smell good.

Talk Show Host-Maybe Yorkies since they look so sweet and non threatening. They do like to bark a lot too.

A New Age author-Labs are so friendly, it would seem that they would have some New Agey philosophies to share with us. A lost Lab puppy followed me home once and it had to be because he was wise enough to know I love animals and would end up keeping him if I never found his family. Huskies too... there's just something about them.

Supermodels- Mutts because I always find people of mixed heritage so beautiful. The more, the better I think.

Rap Star-Great Danes. They have the posture and the swagger, 'nuff said.

3. If you could spend a day with the Dalai Lama and language was no obstacle, what would you do together?

Oh I would be so happy to bring his Holiness to my beach for a picnic. I would probably get on his nerves asking him all kinds of questions about Tibet and if he believed in the abominable snowman. ( I read about that in a TinTin comic book) I would even consider giving him some of my shark tooth hunting tips, I'm sure there's something spiritual about searching for something where it is so difficult to find.

4. If you were able to meet any fictional character, who would it be and why?

Oh it would take me days to finish, there are so many but my inner 9 year old would say Ramona Quimby from the Ramona books by Beverly Cleary. She opened the door to reading for me.

5. You have been granted one wish. It can be large or small, but only one. What will you choose?

That's easy- to go back college and finish without having to pay a damn arm and leg. ( I wanted to say world peace but, well, you know, this is a meme not a beauty pageant)

Interview rules:

1. If you would like to participate, leave me a comment saying "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. Update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.

4. Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you ask them five questions.

If you request questions from me, please give me a few days so that I can personalize them.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Squirrel Obstacle Course

A squirrel after my own heart. Thief! I find myself wondering what kind of candy bar that was.

*I didn't find this on my own. It was posted on cuteoverload.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Winter Shminter!

I couldn't find the security card to the work out facilities in my neighborhood so I had no other choice but to ride my bike to...guess where.

(*Warning!Author about to have a sarcasm spasm!*)

Well, well, well I can't say enough how happy I was to see that someone up and decided to build another multi-million dollar home on MY beach. I mean it's just the best idea, what with the loss of dune that protects the rest of us peasants from the hurricanes and not to mention the loss of habitat. What I was most excited about was the trash I saw lying around and chemical run-off, I mean it's only the OCEAN. I just love development, especially the country club type, there's just not enough beachfront homes and golf courses damnit. Someone should really build some more.

Anyway, moving on. I only planned to stay a few minutes because it was almost noon, the temperature was rising and I forgot my hat so I was hot damn! But I couldn't help myself. I saw a fellow scurry out of a little hole when I got close to the water.

His camouflage is pretty good but he must have got into a fight with someone because one of his claws was missing.

I couldn't find any shark teeth but this beach never fails to deliver up a nice gift. There were so many pink and peach scallop shells, snail shells(sans the snails), some pretty glass, and I don't remember the name of that white and peach one with the ridges....feel free to call it out.

I couldn't for the life of me find ANY shark teeth. I was determined not to leave without at least finding one. I mean what if I leave with out finding one and this starts a shark tooth finding drought? But, I mean look at what I'm up against....

Well I did manage to find these tiny broken ones so I gave myself permission to leave. But then I decided they didn't count because they were broken and worn down.

Finally this showed up.

Then this one.

As I said I only planned to stay a few minutes. When I got home I saw that I had been there for almost two hours. It only felt like a half hour.

I passed by this bird sunning his wings, basically showing off, on my way there so I thought to myself, "if he's still here on my way home, I'll stop and take a picture of him since he's so damn in love with himself."

Can ya tell? He ignored me.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

no! No! NO!

The past few days have me saying to myself, "Summer don't leave me. I'll be lost without you. "
Living in the south gives me a couple more months until it's time for the sweaters and ugly pants my October issue of Lucky magazine is full of. I hate pants. I hate thick socks. Since I'm on the topic of stuff I hate let me get it out in one shout:

Scarves: get on my nerves
Hats: F-'s up my hair
Gloves: Can't feel a thing with them on
Sweaters and turtle necks: Constrain my moving around and make me feel like I'm in jail and someone's choking me for fun
Heavy warm shoes: ugly, just ugly

This is not limited to winter fashion:

Cold and flu: self explanatory
Less hours of sun: depressing
No swimming: also depressing
Weight gain from the holiday season: ok that's actually fun
Dry air: makes my nose bleed, not fun

But I'm trying not to be about the NEGATIVE so the one thing I can say I look forward to is my coffee. And like I said, I have a couple more months left but I'm sort of in a panic because my winter wardrobe consists of one pair of jeans,one beige sweatshirt, and some ugly running shoes. I never buy anything for winter because I talk myself out of everything I pick up by saying to myself,"Why waste this money when Spring is just a few weeks away? Suck it up and save money for the cute stuff." Plus last year I was sick all winter and barely left the damn front door. This winter I refuse to dress like a scrub-lady whether I'm sick or not. (Suggestions welcome)

Monday, September 10, 2007

Oh readers

Have you ever fantasized about faking your own death just to get away from certain relatives? Because that is how I feel right now.

Please leave me a comment and tell me you have so I don't feel like an asshole for thinking such horrid thoughts. (all lurkers welcome too)

Friday, September 07, 2007

Random-Catching up

-Dammit I'm exhausted. I'm not sure where all this fatigue came from. The past few days I've been dragging myself around and feeling like someone beat the sugar out of me.....just now I was watching the news and somehow fell asleep for an hour like an old Grandpa after Sunday brunch. What the hell happened?

-I haven't been able to get to every one's blog I'd like to and I also haven't updated my cool people links as I said I would a thousand times, please feel free to leave any reprimands in my comments section especially those of you who linked to me long ago and haven't received reciprocity(say those two words 15 times really fast and let me know how it ends up.)

-On a happy note, I got a card in the mail from the make up counter I frequent for all my beauty necessities. They know who the sucker is all right. I get a free gift with my next purchase of $28.50 or more. I already know this is bait for me to spend more but I can't help but feel extra special about the free gift chosen especially for me by the make up girl who really cares about me. I didn't even start wearing makeup until about 4 years ago and now look at me, it's like crack for me. And oh! Speaking of happy, those sunglasses I've been drooling over are officially under $200.00 and I have given myself permission to buy them next week since that was the price I was waiting for anyway.

-I haven't been able to finish any paintings lately. I really have nothing to add or any excuses, I just felt it was important to say that. Next week will be better.

BTW Anyone who wants a link, let me know ok? This excludes anyone who came upon this website by google searching "ripe ass", "hot damn ass", or "Peanut Humping." I know who you(ya'll) are! I have webmaster and site meter, you know, it's not like I wouldn't have figured it out, so you came here looking for some 'ripe ass' and all you found was a smartass fully clothed housewife with a foul mouth and a hyper dog.....serves you right. I was going to disinvite you but that wouldn't be polite. You're not disinvited so long as you behave.......

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Too quiet

The house is too quiet now. I got used to my nephew's chatter. I tried unsuccessfully to get him to say,"thank you," just so I could tell him in the future that he learned his good manners from me. It was a long shot since one year olds don't normally know how to pronounce double consonants. I did hear,"mama", now and then. I guess that's a more important word and easier to learn.

Surprisingly(or unsurprisingly), Peanut did not attempt to hump anything or anyone during the entire visit and I was very pleased about that. He did attempt some thieving of Nilla Wafers but they were already on the floor and I'm sure I saw him sticking his nose into my sister's backpack looking for something to steal but I'd rather live with a thief than an a compulsive humper for a pet. So I was ok with that. I also was not in any position to have to change any poopy diapers and I was very pleased about that as well. I'm still suffering from PTSD since the last time.

When my nephew was born he was the spitting image of yours truly. Now he doesn't resemble me at all. Is it weird to say that it hurts my feelings? But it's ok since he does look like my Grandpa all the way down to the round, sticking out, Santa Claus belly. This morning I woke up almost expecting to hear giggling and babbling. I wandered into the room where they were staying with a little broken heart because there was no giggling little one holding his arms up to me. My bed cushions smell like baby lotion and corn starch powder and my arms are missing that heavy, fat bellied baby who loved me most when he was in trouble with mommy.

I guess I should mention that I miss my sister too :O)