Ok ok playtime's over...actually not really, it's just bad weather

This was the first New Year that I didn't have an illness looming over me and all kinds of anxiety over upcoming appointments and it's been such a good feeling. I guess I've been celebrating my freedom a little too much. I do have bloodwork a few times a year that I'll have to stay on top for the rest of my life and routine body scans(luckily no body scan this year yay!) but that's the wonderful thing---it's just routine. I'm so thankful that I was able to start the year out that way. It truly felt like a new start. Especially since we're in a new house that we love and feel comfortable in.

It's storming outside and any minute now I might have to grab the Peanut, and run to the downstairs bathroom because there's a tornado watch. I found a really big tiger shark tooth the other day as well as other things that I wish I could be on the beach looking for....sigh. I feel like a little kid whose mom is forcing to stay indoors. I didn't even wish anyone a Happy Holiday, I was having so much damn fun. I've been gallivanting and frolicking on my now, just across the street beach. And I've been so effing exhausted from this move. I do have a peace offering. Take a look at this peeps:

See? I found this last week. ON THE BEACH! This is why I'm always gone. There's always something new to discover. I've never found a spearhead(I did some research, an arrowhead would be smaller so this is a spearhead. Likely used for hunting deer) or any man made artifact before. On the beach or anywhere. I was just walking my dog, not even really paying attention to the ground. The sea and sky were way more interesting and I can't look for shark teeth if Peanut is with me. My eye just sort of fell on it and I thought to myself,"wow that looks like a.....omigosh it is!" Someone made this. A person. Who had a life and a family and skills enough to make something that a little shark tooth huntress would find hundreds, possibly thousands of years later. I would love to know the story behind it. I find myself holding it in my palm often thinking all kinds of happy thoughts. Isn't it beautiful? I won't fool myself into thinking I'll find more. I've never heard of arrow and spear heads being found around here. It's highly likely this one fell in the river north of here and washed out to sea only to be washed back in by the tide. I'm still the Queen of shark teeth so even if I never find anything more than this precious piece of history, the happiness of this one will last a life time. Of course I'll share if I ever do. So we're still friends right?

There's a reddish Hawk that perches on the highest dead palmetto behind my house at least two or three mornings a week. He's wonderful and I'll get a picture of him for you guys. I can identify him as soon as I get a good bird book. I've been referring to him as Eric the Red. I'm scared to go back there because of the marsh and there's all kinds of snakes and varmints lurking about. MrPea bought some really strong binoculars that will come in handy for my birdwatching.

I can't wait til spring.

More pix from my trip

I'm probably boring everyone with my vacation pix but I don't care. This isn't even the rest. I have a few more for next time so just deal with me for a couple more posts. ok . Ahem. Where was I? Oh right. Ok so here's a picture of a crab on a tree. Nothing special but I'm learning how to use my camera for close shots and he looked like a willing model.

This was where the inlet let out. There were people swimming but I wouldn't dare. The water is pretty murky and like I said before there are definitely some sharks and I wouldn't be surprised to see an alligator.

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Rare photo of Mr.Pea. He never lets me take his picture so when he's in a generous mood, I have to take advantage of the oppurtunity.

Again I was experimenting with the close up functions.

This would make for a good drawing I think.

I noticed this sign telling everyone what was not allowed on the beach and at first I was happy about it until I saw this! And I'm not quite sure what this park had against my Peanut but apparently he's not allowed nor are any other Jack Russel Terriers. How dare they discriminate against my Peanut!

I took this while on my morning walk. MrPea was still sleeping so I put on my shorts and went for some excersize.

This was taken on Sanibel Island. There was a seaweed bloom so the water wasn't as clear as it usually is but MrPea was trying to find some shark teeth for me. No luck. I did find a couple in Naples but that was it. I did find out the name of an island where I could go next time to find some for sure but I'm not telling anyone the name unless they live in Florida.

A storm was coming on as the sun was setting so of course I had to get some more practice with my camera. Not too bad huh?(This was my birthday btw)

Our view was pretty great. We ate breakfast on our balcony every morning. We're going back to the same place in September and it's all we both talk about lately.

So I finally figured out how to upload pix from my new camera

Sorry I've been away so long. It took me a while to readjust after coming home. Peanut had an eye infection so I had to take him to the doctor. I was also trying to learn how to use my camera a bit more. Anyway, here are a few pix:


This was the view from our balcony. Not bad huh? See how there was a waterway between us and the beach? The coolest thing about it was this was all protected so you have to walk through all that via a half mile long walk way. Or you could take the golf cart shuttle the hotel provided but I prefered to walk...more on that later.

This is what it looks like when you actually get there. What I like best about this beach is that there were only a few people there! If you look closely you'll see where sea turtle nests have been marked for protection and you know I was happy about that. This was the view looking north.

Just cuz I like things nicely balanced, this was the view looking to the south. And again my favorite thing about this beach was that it was empty. Some people don't mind crowds and noise on the beach but I like the quiet.

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This is the walkway I mentioned. It was aproximatly 3/5ths of a mile or .6mile through a mangrove forest and over a bridge but I'll have to show you that later. The bottom is made of recycled material. It was slippery that day because there was a storm the night we arrived.

Mr.Pea prefered the golf cart shuttle but I made him walk that time because I wanted to take it all in. Does he look sad and pitiful to have such a bossy wife? Actually in the mornings, he slept in and I would wake up early and go walking. There were more than a few people jogging and power walking. To me this is even better than jogging on the beach. I find it absolutely impossible to jog on the beach. I just can't. I can't imagine walking around on a beach without looking for shark teeth, it would be a complete waste of time. Ok honestly, it would be torture.

I spotted this White Heron fishing when we got to the bridge so it was a good oppurtunity to practice my 'skills' with my new camera. I just realised I probably should taken a picture of the bridge to give ya'll a better idea but I wasn't thinking about this blog at the time....

This was the view(north) as we crossed the bridge and you can see someone had a good idea and brought a kayak. I would be too scared since I am absolutely certain there are sharks in that waterway and very possibly alligators. This is usually where young sharks live since it's safe. Actually we called waterways like this "shark nurseries" in my Marine Biology class. And if there are baby sharks in there, it mean Momma sharks are in there birthing them or whatever they call it. You know what I mean. I don't remember what time of year they do this but still, I know they're there. Waiting for my leg. I imagine I'm missing out on a lot of good teeth but I'll stay alive a little while longer thank you very much.

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Oh! And I almost forgot. If you click on this pic and look really close at the pink thing on the right, it's a flamingo! It was the only one I saw. I have more pix but I'll post them tomorow.

Off to Naples

(The Florida one not the Italian one)

I woke up early to drop Peanut off at his "camp" and I might as well have just took a knife and stabbed myself in the heart. He didn't seem to care about being separated from me it which was actually what I was hoping for but still..... Oh well. It's a nice place, despite the fact that it costs a damn fortune, and they have dog cams so I'll be able to check on him while I'm gone. Still though. Next time I'm going to bring him with us.

Anyway, I'll be gone for a few days. Tuesday is my birthday btw. I'll be 33. Lots of pix when I get home.

Again I have no title for this post but does it really need one? Does everything in the world need a title? I think not.

I finally got over what was the worst sinus infection I ever had. There's nothing worse than being sick when it's over 90 degrees outside. Normally I grin and bear it through something like that but this was really a nasty one. One day during the peak of the worst, I was in the middle of merely making a sandwich and got exhausted just from that. I won't go anywhere near anyone who even has barely a sniffle right now. MrPea's and my trip is coming up in a few days and it's been so long since we went away together, I don't want anything to ruin it.

I thought about posting a few more pix from my trip but I'm sure ya'll aren't interested as you can pretty much guess from my last post what my trip consisted of:two silly sisters and three little boys under their sometimes questionable influence. I'm hoping to try to get back up there around Halloween.

In the mean time, my birthday present(!) arrived early(Thank you MrPea, I couldn't be happier!) so I've been trying to learn all the bells and whistles. Eventually I'll get a strong zoom lens when I begin to figure out how it all works. The basic auto stuff was pretty self explanatory but I didn't know what the hell an aperture was or what a macro lens was for and what ISO stood for but I'm having fun with it. Peanut has been my study subject matter and I'm sure he'll be happy when I start pointing that camera towards something else.

Speaking of Peanut, he has an appointment tomorrow morning at a Pet Day Care since I have no one to take care of him while we're gone. We need to take a look at the place he'll be staying and I want to make sure that he'll be comfortable and well taken care of there. It will also be a good time for them to observe his behavior around other dogs so they'll know what to expect and what kind of dogs he's compatible with during playtime. He's not a fighter but sometimes a humper so hopefully they won't hold that against him. Our ex roommates had a Yorkie who easily put him in his place when he tried to put the moves on her so I'm sure he'll behave once he figures out that the ladies don't like to be treated the way he treats his 'bear'. My standard reply to people who get surprised over the fact that he is actually neutered is usually,"Well he is a man."

Random Pix I forgot to show ya'll

Actually I did already post my cellcam version of this one a while back ago but I'm thinking about making a drawing of it to go with my shell in the hand drawing.

It was alive so of course I put it back in the water that day. I even stayed watching it for a long to time to make sure it didn't get pushed back onto the sand by the tide. I couldn't let it go without pausing to snap a picture of it's blue and peach side. I'm sure I've looked up the name in my field guide and forgot it's name but my field guide happens to be in the other room and I happen to be too lazy to get it.

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Look close.

Closer....see him now.

Yes it's a him, I checked. Unfortunately for him something had already made a meal out of his belly. His color pattern is really pretty and this will definitely make for a good drawing. I haven't decided to use pencils or watercolors for this one.

This is a Southern Toad that Peanut got into a fight with. I freaked out because he's ended up in the animal emergency hospital for getting into a fight with a poisonous toad in the past. So I took a picture of this one so I could identify it and make sure Peanut was not in any danger. He must have tasted really badly because Peanut spit him out right away and started shaking his mouth. Luckily for Peanut that was the only discomfort. MrPea was to blame since he was the one holding the leash(for both times.) His pattern is really pretty too but I'm not a big fan of bumps.

And, as promised here are the baby birds I have been admiring. As you can see the mother bird made a safe nest on a shell "welcome" wreathe. She was there all the time when the eggs were not hatched yet but now I never see her. I was beginning to worry but the chicks are getting bigger everyday so she must just be busy. Click for a closer look.

They are even bigger than this now- I checked on them this morning. I only counted 2 but I'm never close enough to really see because I don't want to scare them.

Last week while using a restaurant bathroom I noticed a very important communication. Take note of it peeps, you might need this information some day:"James is hot." "I agree." I'm not quite sure who this James is but if I find out, I'll let you guys know.

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And last but not least this was taken last night at 8:30. This is not my beach, it's been too HOTDAMN for me because the wind is still coming from the west. I wanted to look for shark teeth over here but for some reason, there aren't really any here. If the wind doesn't change before I leave on Saturday then I won't be able to look for any shark teeth until next week when low tide is in the evening so it won't be any fun. But the midsummer evening sky is pretty don't you think?

Peanut is everyone's favorite nap partner

Speaking of naps. No nap for me today even though I only slept 3 hours last night(because I want to go to the beach). In fact for the past week or so I haven't been sleeping much either. I beg the heavens that I don't fall into the hell that is insomnia. I get a little neurotic when I know I'm not sleeping enough because I'm still a little traumatized from when I was 17 and was only able to sleep 3 or 4 hours a night. It lasted a few months and was only cured when we had to flee what we thought would be a head on hit from a really big hurricane. So we drove up to to West Virginia to visit my Grandparents for a few days. The hurricane ended up in the Carolinas, as most hurricanes did that year, unfortunately for them. And my insomnia went away, fortunately for me. Odd, you say? I had a similar experience the summer I turned 14. I. COULD. NOT. SLEEP. It lasted about 2 months. At the end of the summer just before school started, we went to visit my Grandparents and somehow it just went away. I was able to sleep again. Are you sensing a pattern? Obviously being around my Grandparents made me feel relaxed, peaceful and I just fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. But they are no longer in this world with me so I can't just buy a ticket to West Virginia and cure my insomnia as before. What should I do? I don't sleep well when I'm on vacation either, in case anyone was going to suggest a trip.(I would like to go on vacation though...there's a river in Central Fl where I can dig for megalodon teeth.) There is only one other place where I always sleep like an infant. That is in Canada, in my mother-in-law's guest room. BUT, my damn passport is expired and anyway, a ticket there costs a damn arm and leg because you have to catch the special plane from Montreal to get to MrPea's hometown whose airport is smaller than a 7-11(which, strangely, is why I love that place so much). You know the kind with the propellers that you can't bring heavy luggage on? Yeah that one. It adds about 4oo dollars to any cheap ticket anyone could find and I'm too scared to drive on the scary, bumpy mountain road. Sigh.


And I feel like I need to note that the 3 hours I did sleep last night were filled with horrible nightmares. I'm not stressed out, I don't think, so it can't be that? I don't eat at night so it can't be that? Maybe the beach will cure my problem.

Anyone have any ideas? The non medicated sort....what do you do, Internets, to help yourself sleep when you need the rest?

(Oh! And Happy Earth Day btw. Pictures of how I celebrate our Earth Home tomorow)

Peanut is still king of the snow

Even though it doesn't snow here. Yesterday was Peanut's 11th birthday so I wanted to post this picture of him in Canada. As I've said before, we got him on Valentine's Day at a pig farm in Slidell, Louisiana. I almost didn't take him home because when I picked him up he was so wiggly and noncompliant unlike his wiry haired sister, who, I was 5 seconds away from putting in my backpack and running off with after we had already paid for our new disobedient, new shoe eating puppy. He sort of chose MrPea, even though today he has an "I love you/I'm ignoring you unless you have food or something I need," attitude towards the both of us(but especially MrPea). He doesn't listen. He'll run out the door if you leave it open. He steals unattended food. He likes destroying crumpled up paper. He enjoys dismembering and disemboweling his toys. He likes to hunt lizards in a creepy, stalkerish manner. He also begs shamelessly and sticks his face in everyone's food. But still, we'll keep him around a little while. He's our old man of the house.....


I have nothing interesting to post as nothing interesting has happened lately. Well, no, there are a couple noninteresting but noteworthy things I can tell you peeps.

-Two days ago I was wearing a short skirt and teeshirt. This morning our temperature was 43. How the hell is that possible?

-Last week MrPea talked me into buying some really highheeled snakeskin(faux,mind you) peep toe shoes. I'm loathe to admit that I loveth them. But my goal was to find warm shoes. I did not accomplish this goal because I hated everything else in that store that looked remotely warmish. And there they were beckoning me. But I've decided to return them. I already feel jealous of whoever's going to buy them. I feel like I need to take a picture of them before I bring them back. Is that sick or what?

Sorry that's all I have for you guys as I'm all blahhged out. Give me something to blog about peeps. Ask me something, I'll tell you. As it is, life is blissfully quiet right now and I find myself in hibernation mode with the drop in temperature. No shark teeth either, the wind is damp and cold. Maybe next week.

My Sweetheart's Heart

No news is NOT good news but at least I have some news. After all the tests my husband has what appears to be a healthy heart. But while he was in the hospital a dangerously low resting heart rate was detected which may explain what happened. Hopefully a good cardiologist and who ever else we need to see can answer the hows, whys, and what do we need to dos. For the sake of Mr.Pea's privacy and my anxiety, I won't talk about it too much after today. Normalcy is what we both want so I have promised him and myself that I will keep my dark fears to a minimum and return to my sunny side up self.

(But can I just tell you guys, that I feel even more anxiety now that he's home than I did while he was in the hospital. I didn't think a higher level than what I was experiencing was even possible but apparently my anxiety knows no bounds when I'm worried about someone. I'm sure that it's a release of some kind because the whole time I was trying to stay calm and hold it all together which is what I tend to do during a crisis. Now that he's home, the rest of my repressed nerves picked up some hammers and started banging my system. I think I have a healthy attitude about it though, I'm sort of just letting it happen because I know it will abate after a little while. Exercise helps a lot and today we got in some good beach time. Luckily MrPea is on vacation this week so we'll spend some good time together. Ok I won't say anymore about it...)

I want to say thanks to everyone who left a kind word for me and private emails. You internets are so nice...I luveth ya'll...expect some more vis'tin from me soon.


Oh and on another upbeat note. Peanut(canine member of the "Sick" family) had his follow up appointment today and Doc says he gets a clean bill of health. Finally!

Peanut has a bald spot!!

He's kind of shy about it, but I like it. I had to sneak a picture while he was eating. They shaved him there and put a narcotic patch after his surgery.

Butts and Graduates

Well Peanut had his surgery today on his, guess where. I didn't post about it because I didn't want to think about it. He was supposed to have it last week but I rescheduled for today because I wanted to make sure I would be able to watch my nephew graduate from high school. I sat there trying not to cry over this little boy who sang ABC's and watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, who's boo-boos I kissed, diapers I changed, belly I poked, made endless cups of chocolate milk for, earlobes I pinched. I'm so proud of the person he is and wish always happiness for him. I wish he had been my son.

But my gosh I was only 13 when he was born so that would have been a little trashy... :O)
He will always be this little boy to me. I should mention that he's just turned 19 and we still call him Little Bobby. He already knows even when he's 50, my sisters and I will still be calling him that. I wanted to take him out to lunch this week to celebrate but my dern skin had to go and act up.

Now about my Peanut

I just spoke with Peanut's doctor and his surgery went well, although it was more invasive than they were hoping. He thinks he found the funny tissues that were causing my poor Peanut so much discomfort but he's going to have to stay over night and possibly tomorrow night as well. I felt like crying when Dr told me he was in a lot of pain. My poor Peanut. Hopefully when he recovers this will be the last time he has a problem back there, he's been through so much with that. He's been so good natured, nobody would even have guessed he'd been having so many, ahem, painful bowel issues. I can't wait til he gets to come home. I miss him and it's too quiet here without a little friend.


(My skin is much better, I ended up not taking the steroid pills. I don't need it. Still bumpy, but not as bad as last week. Still staying out of the sun and heat though. Also I'm still shy about it so I've only been going out when absolutely necessary which will be today because I ran out of Zyrtec.)

If hell had another name

It would be called Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I'm not sure why but that place intimidates and entices me at the same time. It's too organized or something. Organization intimidates me a little. If you shared a room with my sister growing up, you'd understand, but I'll tell you guys about that another time. And have ya'll noticed that all the smells are enough to wake the comatose? Those sachet things with an aroma haze dizzying up the air always have names like,'Pomegranate Breeze,' and, 'Lavender Fields' . I love those things. Only I can't differentiate what exactly I'm smelling when I pick one up because all the smells have become one big perfume soup and I've been enveloped in it. I felt like a cartoon character trying to get away from a bee swarm and the only way to really escape is to jump in a lake. And there's just so much damn stuff in there. I do need stuff don't get me wrong. Our walls are bare. I need new rugs for my bathroom and kitchen. We both need new shower curtains. Our comforter needs replacing and I need some extra blankets for when my in laws visit next month. And dammit I want some serious black out curtains in my bedroom before the summer sun starts waking me up at 7am. But there's almost too many choices, I get all confused. I don't go to those places with MrPea because I feel sorry for him when I subject him to this kind of stuff. Why? Because when I go to these places I'm suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to turn over, inspect, investigate every item in the store until I decide not to buy anything at all because the exact color, style, design I'm looking for does not exist.

I did buy a couple things including a tension rod I wanted to use to hang up a curtain to separate my closet from my bathroom. This is because my closet is in the bathroom so whenever I'm in front of the bathroom mirror, reflected behind me is my messy closet and I'm sick of looking at it. So rather than clean it up like any other non-lazy sane person, I'd rather just hang up a curtain there instead. However I managed to bend the tension rod in less than 5 minutes after I got in my car when I adjusted my seat to accommodate my, ahem, short legs. Great. I tried to fix it when I got home with some pliers and ended up squishing my finger which resulted in me re-breaking the tension rod with my foot on the balcony in a full fledged temper tantrum, Peanut joining in on the attack with teeth as his chosen weapon. There goes my $4.99.

All in all though, I feel good about my day. But I'm still not cleaning out that hole that is my closet. In fact I'm going back there tomorrow after my appointment for another tension rod cuz I'll be damned if I have to look at that mess in the mirror one more time.

Somethin' good to blog about durnnit

So far Peanut's doctor thinks he's ok. He got some shots and an antibiotic to start tomorrow. And I have to say, he was way more well behaved than any of the other dogs at the vet this morning. I did have a laugh over something I learned: It's just an observation but, you probably look pretty sickly if your own dog's doctor takes a look at you and asks,"Have you been unwell? Do you need to sit down and let the vet tech hold Peanut for you?" Especially since I don't go around telling everyone and their cousin(well besides on this blog) about my personal health issues. I just said,"Yes, thanks for asking," because I know he was just trying to be nice and I do really look puffy and pale. But that will be remedied, my friends. I have a therapeutic massage scheduled for Monday after lunch. Yay! I haven't had one in like, never. What about poor Peanut you ask? Well it's his butt that hurts not his back and I'm not going there...and anyway he gets back rubs and belly rubs on command, he doesn't need to make any appointments.

Oh, and I saw a lone bald eagle yesterday scouting around. He was small but beautiful and scary-looking in the good way. I always see them here in March usually just one or two. I've heard they come here in the Spring to nest but don't quote me on it. They are so protected that an entire development had to stop construction for the season when some people spotted some in the area one year. The developers bitched and tried failingly to appeal but I was happy about that actually(Oh I just love developers don't you, they care, they really do). I've been looking for him ever since but I think the osprey mates that live in a dead pine on the golf course may have chased him away, because I know for sure they hatched a chick recently. How do I know? Oh I have my ways, peeps. I have my ways. I did forget to mention that for 3 days before I went to the hospital for the radio-iodine, there were a pair of yellowish golden hawks I couldn't figure out hanging around the neighborhood too. I saw them every morning and they were bee-u-tiful. They, also must have moved on, because I don't see them anymore. It would be nice if I had some pictures for you guys wouldn't it? But I'm too lazy to drag my camera around with me so you'll just have to take my word and imagine I guess. Poor you peeps, ya'll missed out. I've been down with the birds of prey lately haven't I?

And oh no(!), I saw a small alligator swimming in the lake behind our building. I'll try to get a pic of her tomorrow, I know where she's been hanging out. I make it my business to figure these things out. Not by the pool like last year's monster, but thankfully on the golf course side. I just hope some idiot doesn't decide to take matters into his own hands and try to feed it or harm it , it's too little to really pose any threat right now and will likely move on to the bigger marsh nearby. I'm not aiming for me or Peanut to be her lunch but there are professionals to take care of those issues. It's that time of year again. I'm actually thanking the heavens because it means we're into Spring. Couldn't have come at a better time.

Me on the mend but not Peanut

I was allowed to get back on my med today. My scan went fast yesterday and the images were good enough for me to not have to come back today which is good because I was planning to revolt and just tell them to take what they have because there's no way in hell I would have been able to go without food again. I still feel like crap but hopefully I'll balance out in the next couple days. I've been trying to find a decent massage therapist just to help roll out the stress and soreness in my back and arms. I also moved my shoulder in such a way that pissed off my neck earlier today so hopefully I can find a place that can fit me in sometime soon. Spiritually I feel a little better because besides a tentative follow up and routine blood labs I don't need to deal with anything til next year, crossing my fingers. I'll probably hear from them about the scan next week but at this point, I don't really care if I hear from those people at all about it so long as they leave me alone for a while. I'm just happy the worst part is behind me.

But Peanut, poor Peanut is having butt problems again to put it mildly. He doesn't seem to be in any discomfort but something's just not right back there still. I was told he had some kind of strange benign cell growth a few months ago and he was taking some kind of exploratory medicine because I wanted to avoid him having to have another surgery since he's had, I think 3 in the past 2 years but........The last thing I could handle right now is if anything happens to my Peanut. He goes to the doctor tomorrow morning. I'm not going to panic. We'll do whatever needs to be done for him that we can afford so long as he's able to have a pain-free existence. He's such a trooper. I still remember the first thing I whispered to MrPea when I came to from my surgery last year was ,"You remembered to give Peanut his medicine right?" I was worried he would forget because Peanut was taking antibiotic for an infection and I'm usually the one who gives it to him. When I came home from the hospital after, I felt like he was avoiding me and I kept telling anyone who would listen,"I wish Peanut would love me again." It wasn't until a few days later that MrPea had to go to the store and leave me alone that I figured out Peanut hadn't been avoiding me at all. When I called him to sit by me he walked so slowly and tentatively with his head low that I realized it was because he knew I was somehow hurt and was just trying to be gentle. The rest of the time MrPea was gone he acted 'en garde' sitting at my feet with his eyes on the door and ears perked. I hate worse that he's having problems than I ever did about my having had cancer at all. But he's an old man now. Just yesterday it seems, it was Valentine's Day 1998 and we were driving him home over Lake Pontchartrain from the pig farm where he was born in Louisiana. Poor Peanut. I think he'll be ok, though he doesn't act like he's sick. I hope so.

It's not even March yet and already I feel like it's been a rough year.

Mittens. The cat I sometimes babysit

I'm sure I've posted a pic of him before but I took care of him last week and took some more pictures since he was in a cooperating mood. I saw him jump from a stool to body slam Peanut once or twice. He likes a ratty old pink bunny, crumpled paper, laser lights, staring contests, hidden fingers under the pillow, and-oh- I almost forgot, kneading.

I love him more than he loves me, as it is with all cats. I beg for his love but he prefers stalking and attacking me instead. Once in a while, he'll sit behind me on the couch with his tail around my neck and look at me with his eyes half closed which, I've been told, is cat language for,"I like you, let's be friends." So I'll just have to be happy with that.


Captions welcome in the comments.

Walking In The Fog

3 weeks down without the Synthroid and one to go before my appointment with radiation. dammit. I made a conscience decision not to drive until I'm back on that thyroid hormone replacement and feeling normal again because I've started having a hard time concentrating, am feeling sluggish and uncoordinated. I'm not complaining, I promise but since I'm having an honest moment here the achy-ness and swollen joints are enough to drive a girl mad. And did I mention my face and eyes are so puffy, I look like the Michelin man? I have to admit there's a mild depression plus a teaspoon of anxiety there too. It's normal and completely hormonal, well actually, due to the lack of hormone now that I think about it. But however mild, it's put a dip in any creative energy/motivation. That's not who I am. As much as I'd love to be one of those dark, sensitive artistic types, I'm of the smiley variety so I'm waiting for that part of me to come back. Listening to some really depressing music lately probably hasn't helped much.

This morning though, when I opened the curtains and saw a thick scary fog coming in from the direction of the sea, I got really excited. I hurried up to get myself together enough so Peanut and I could be out there in it before the sun got rid of it and ruined our fun. Fog should be a scary thing for a (sunworshiping)girl like me who's afraid of her own damn shadow. But it's a good scary and the painter I am likes the tricks fog plays on the eyes. Plus I'm just contrary like that.

Angry French hip hop on my ipod again, Peanut and I had a small bounce in our walk. As I've said before I'm not a huge fan of angry music but there's something to be said about a song utterly dedicated to what a baddass one is when you badly need to be reminded that you're a badass too. Smiling at two giggling preteen girls on their way to school, I turned and took the lake trail and stood there in front of the black water for a long time waiting for Peanut to spit out the dead lizard I had pretended not to notice him pick up and carry around in his mouth a few steps back. There were dark, long necked water fowl swimming around close by and they were skittish. I heard a sound in the air, looked up, and out of the fog, the biggest osprey I've ever seen appeared overhead with a fish in her claws. She swooped down on those black waterbirds, not to prey on them but just cuz she felt like it, just to show them who's territory they are in. Dammit. They sort of fell quickly to the side and bobbed back up again like buoys when it was safe. I whispered to myself,"yeah," and realized I'd been holding my breath. I'm not a fan of bullies either but ospreys can never do wrong in my eyes. And that osprey reminded me like no other dirty hip hop song ever could about what a badass is. I'm small but I'm powerful too. Dammit.

I do't understand a word of German

But this video makes me giggle. I'm predicting there will be a pet-cam trend hitting the US sometime soon. You heard it first here. I would never put one on Peanut. His images would be too violent and disturbing, what with his lizard hunting skills and all.

I'm ok with the Random

*That new med made me nauseous last week. Everything was gross. Food was gross. Trees were gross. The sun was gross. Rain, also gross. Watching tv, gross. The vultures outside, gross. The car, gross. Even Peanut was gross. But this week is better. Peanut is off the gross list. Actually he has a doctor appointment today and I'll be feeling sorry for him because of the invasive things they'll be doing to his derrière. But he doesn't want me to talk about that.

*A lot of people made fun of me in high school for taking French not Spanish. "When the hell are you ever gonna need that? People here speak Spanish, dumbass!" They said. Well jackasses, if you read here, and I know a few of you are, I use it all the damn time and none of ya'll even remember one friggin Spanish word. So sit down!

*Sometimes my husband will do something and I'll think to myself, I have the best damn husband on Earth. Like lately he's been turning on the heating pad my Grandma bought me and putting it on my side of the bed under the blankets. He knows how sensitive I am to temperatures now. So when I go to bed, my side of the bed is warm. It's these little things that keep me from screaming at him when he splashes water all over the sink and 'forgets' to clean it up.

*Speaking of sinks, we have separate bathrooms. This is the key to a healthy marriage, I am convinced of this. I use the master bath because it has a bigger closet. We don't use the master bedroom connected to the master bath because I hated the tiny window in that room when we moved in. So we sleep in the smaller room with the big eastern window and I trod, or I should say stagger every morning across the living room to my bathroom and closet to wash up and get dressed. And since I'm on the topic of closets and healthy marriages, I have to say that separate closets are also essential. At least, in my marriage they are. He can splash to his heart's content all over his bathroom and I don't have to look at it. And I can fill my closet with all kinds of shoes and be as disorganized as I like and we don't have to argue over closet space. We're closing in on our 11th anniversary(in March)so I think I may be onto something....

*And since I'm also on the topic of my upcoming anniversary, a snowbird lady I talk to sometimes who didn't know I was married said to me when I told her about my anniversary ,"Damn girl, you musta' been born married! Girls in the south still get married too damn young? You southerners, I swear!" I was 20, not 12. 20 is a bit young but still though there's a difference. And anyway, I'm not from the south. I just grew up here so I'm a southerner by preference. He's not my cousin for crying out loud. So I don't know what all the shock was about.

Just your random Wednesday

*I wanted to make a tear jerking post about Peanut and his 10th birthday but we decided to go to the beach instead. Anyone who has a pet knows how much I love my now senior citizen dog. Anyone who doesn't would probably find it annoying and overindulgent. So I'll just say he had a good birthday that included him pigging out on a corn muffin and being allowed to roll in some really stinky mud that he was really excited about and leave it at that. He wasn't excited about his bath but what dog is?

*I'm trying to get in as much beach time as possible before the impending doom- I mean move. I'm still not sure where we'll end up and I'll explain it all when it's over and I can talk about it freely(due to our superstitions we always stay mum when we move-silly,no?). Let me just put it this way, my husband and I are not the sort of people who wait around for the sh!t to hit the fan. And when I explain, anyone who watches CNBC will say,"oh, that's why." But rest assured my peeps, I will not/would not be leaving the state of Florida, even under the event of alien invasion. This is my homestate and I plan to die here. Unless of course we were to win the lottery. In that case, I nor Mr.Pea, nor Peanut would be seen or heard from again. There might be a few rumors here and there of us being possibly spotted on a sail boat in the South Pacific. But it doesn't look like that will happen.


*Speaking of beach time, my beach is really private. And when I say private, I mean I can be there for 2 or 3 hours and maybe see only 4 or 5 people pass by. This is because about 70% of the people who own homes on or near this beach don't really live here, they just occasionally vacation here. But what I don't understand is the fact that the 4 or 5 people I see are always on the damn phone. Why in hell anyone who visits this hidden priceless treasure would spend their time yapping away about 'who wore red to the white party' is beyond me. I bring my phone and keep it in my back pocket only out of fear of kidnappers and serial killers but at no point during my visit would I ever rather listen to anything anyone on the other end of that phone would have to say more than the sound of the Atlantic Ocean, wind and screaming birds. But maybe that's just me. :O)

Just for the record Medical Random

-I went to get some blood work done today for the hundred-and-eleventieth damn time. And I just feel like saying in brief bitch mode: I'm sick of needles. I'm sick of doctors' offices. I hate the 'art work' in just about every doctor's waiting room I've ever been in, which has been a lot. I hate how cold it is in waiting rooms and that they always only have Golf magazines,which wouldn't bother me if I didn't hate golf. I hate that waiting room tvs are always tuned to old episodes of,"In the Heat of the Night." (I didn't even know that show was still playing in reruns. ) I hate when people are rough with my arm when taking blood and then look at me like I'm acting like a baby when I wince. I hate the fact that I never stick up for myself when this happens. Ok I'm done bitching. I only let myself do that for 2 minutes a day.

-By the way that didn't happen today. There is a guy who works there who always leaves bruises on my arm every time I get him. Today I got the gentle lady. She is always soft to me and I think it's because of the time I had to go in for blood work two days after my surgery. I had just came home from the hospital the night before and was so obviously not feeling well. I was taking a lot of pain meds and anxiety meds because of all the shit I'd been through(I still never told ya'll about how mean the nurses in the hospital were to me did I?) so I was pret-ty emotional and really couldn't walk much without help. I never cry in front of people I don't know. Ne-ver. But I was so damn not well, when she stuck me with the needle, I started to cry. I was so embarrassed. I sort of passed out in the waiting room on the way out afterwards too. I felt like such a jackass. But ever since then, she always says to me, "I remember you. I had you that day you weren't doing so good. Felt so bad for you dear. We'll try not to hurt you so bad this time. " She reminds me of my Grandma. She has no idea how thankful I am that people like her exist on this Earth.

-I have a couple scary medical things coming up any day now. I'm just waiting for them to call me with my appointment. I try not to be a baby about it but I can't help it. I'm scared of all that stuff. No matter how many times I'm told I'll be fine, there's nothing anyone can ever say to me that makes me feel any better. For 30 years I was able to depend on my body-engine without question and then one day I woke up and one of my parts was broken.
A local news anchor announced a recurrence of cancer. Even though, it's not the same as the one I had, worse and more deadly than the one I had, I got scared. I kept thinking, is this going to happen to me? Am I going to be ok for a while and then get hit in the head with this again and again? I hope not. I'm tired of putting on a brave and happy face all the time. Tired of it.

-Peanut had a, ahem, medical procedure today too. His vet took his temperature and he was so good. His new medicine seems to be working(KNOCK ON WOOD!) so I'm happy about that right now. I was so worried about him. His birthday is on Dec.11 and he'll be 10 years old. I'm not going to have a dog party for him but I want to do something special. Maybe buy him a new bed for one of his hiding spots and take him to the dog park.