Everyone is posting about how to cut costs

I'll admit I'm not the best at it. Some of these are pretty much common knowledge but in a community like mine where people have not/will likely not ever feel any kind of economic slow down, what I do might sound a little radical.

1. I buy store brand products. Dish soap, laundry detergent, paper towels,lotion, even shampoo and soap. Target brand oatmeal soap costs 2 dollars less than Aveeno and my hypersensitive skin doesn't know the difference. Walmart Claratin works for me too. I've never been obsessed with name brands anyway. And that includes clothes and shoes.

2. I do my own nails and toes. People where I live assume that everyone just has loads and loads of money on their hands. I sometimes get asked where a good place is to get a manicure. I always get a surprised look of disbelief when my reply is," I can't really say because I do mine myself." The response is always,"Well I just don't have the time to do them myself." Yes you do! You have the time to get dressed, get in your car, sit in the salon for at least a half hour and then 15 to dry so don't tell me you don't have the time. I can do my nails and toes in less than 20 minutes and if I do them at night while I'm already winding down, I can let them dry while I watch tv without worrying about messing it up. So the best place for a mani-pedi? My house for free.

3. When I buy meat, I'll buy the family size even though I only cook for 2. I cook what I need and take the time to portion the rest out for the freezer. It takes just a few seconds.

4. Library Library Library! There's a GREAT library a five minutes walk from my house. They have a take-leave magazine shelf where I leave all my old magazines(old meaning from last month) and there's always a few National Geographic Mags I can bring home. There's hundreds of DVDs and I might have to wait a couple weeks before I can read the newest books if I don't get there before everyone else but I don't really care. I see a lot of smart moms/dads with kids when they have story reading(I do better voices than the lady they have but she does ok) and what a great place to bring a kid . My favorite part-it's FREE! I used to spend so much money on books I'll never even read again. They also have a used book store where I can get great art books for 5 dollars.

5. I am not snobby about going to the matinee movie on a rainy day. It's raining anyway! I have friend who won't step foot in any theatre before dark for fear of looking like a senior citizen at 32. The whole idea of spending more to please other nameless faceless people who care more about themselves than 'you' is a whole blog post for another day. I will stay mum on whether or not I sneak in my own drink.....

6. I commented about this on another blog and I'm sure I've posted about this before. I hang dry most of my own clothes. That goes for the husband's clothing too. I have pieces that I bought years and years ago that still look new because of this. This is not practical for everyone but, I live in a condo so I use my shower curtain thingy(I can't think of the right word) as my clothesline. I only use my dryer for towels and blankets. Well socks too. So imagine this saves a little on the electricity but I can't really say because I live in hot Fla and it costs a fortune to keep our 3rd floor place bearable in the summer. But my clothes last a long time and I don't always need to run out and get something new for this or that. Obviously the shopping part is more fun but I stay away from trendy clothing so I can wear anything in my closet when in a pinch. I'm moving to a better place in the near future so hopefully our elcetric bill will go down. For real this time. I take really good care of my shoes too.

7. I got asked this question last night(by someone like me whose husband works and they don't have kids) so I feel like I need to tell everyone about it: "who walks your dog?" I DO. Um yeah.

Reunited and it feels so good

I finally got my haircut today. It's been since May but it really didn't count as a real haircut that time because I got this genius idea to try an $18 dollar place. Never again. My sister whose hair is the same length and texture as mine found a place where she lives that charges $18 without a wash and blow dry and she LOVED it, swore she'll never go anywhere else, told me I should try it out here where I live since it's a chain. I've been looking for a new place to go because I got really sick of paying $75 for someone to cut my long, straight, easy to cut hair because the girl I'd been going to for a long time ran off to Minnesota(of all places to run off to). I went to a spa place a few times and I really liked it, I even got a massage there last year while I was recovering from being off my meds for all that time and I was sore. Then another owner took over and turned the place into redneck heaven. Mind you, I love the south. I consider myself a southerner by preference and I can turn on/off my accent when need be. But when I get my haircut or any kind of beauty treatment, I don't want to feel like I'm in the middle of a HeeHaw rerun. I'm not exaggerating. They got some kind of 'company vehicle' , to advertise and impress the customers. Yeah. Hot Pink Hummers with sparkly rims don't appeal to me as a client whatsoever. If this makes me a snob, then I'm just a snob. The stylist I was used to just dissappeared one day and when I asked which salon she moved to they wouldn't tell me, I think because they were hoping I would just say ok, who else is avaliable. No thanks. I was only putting up with the hard core blue grass music and the yelling profanities back and forth between the mother and daughter owners because I liked the way she cut my hair and her price so this gave me an excuse to go somewhere else. Before that I was going to a woman who only charged me $25 and she was really good. I loved her but she decided to become a real estate agent(in this market when I have all this hair dammit!) so again I was a style orphan. Which brought me to the place my sister told me to try. Yeah. The guy they put me with was greasy, his nails were filthy and he smelled like an ash tray that hadn't been cleaned out since the days of Studio 54. And he barely cut anything and what was cut was lopsided. And he charged me $35, not the $18 my sister had me all excited about. So remember the stylist I "broke up with" that one time? In a moment of weakness I decided to go back. Best decision ever. I don't know why I ever fell out of love in the first place. Well ok I know why. It was expensive and I always felt pressured to buy ridiculously priced products when I was done. But oh man did I have beautiful hair once upon a time and it was because of her! So I had to go back. I had to. Why did I not see that before?! I mean, I get a haircut maybe 2-3 times a year. Why should I feel guilty about it? So maybe the shitty economy is actually good for something because it didn't cost me as much as before(although it was still a little pricey but I need to stay in this moment a bit longer). And all I did was say no thanks when a product was suggested for me to buy. Oh to have pretty hair again. It was beginning to look like I had just been kicked out of the Garden of Eden.


How much is too much to spend for a haircut to you guys?

Dear Gucci Sunglasses:The sequel

Dear Former Object of Desire: Gucci Sunglasses Model Number 2933,

Remember Me? Remember how I loved you, longed for you, yearned for you, waited for you? Remember how I could never pass you by without trying you on in the hopes that we might someday be together? Remember how I begged for you to go on sale so that we might make accessory magic together? Or did you forget? You must have because you never went on sale, you never went below the $200.oo I begged you to do. You couldn't have done it just for me could you? 2 years I waited, former beloved! 2. effin. years! See how patient I was? But no you still have to stay up there don't you? $207?! That's the best you could do for a girl who loved you so much?(yes, you read that right, love-d) You thought you could tease me like that and get away with it? Did you not believe me when I said I refuse to pay more than $200.00? Were you toying with me? Did you think you could break me? Did you think you could make me give in for a mere $7.00 over my ultimatum(plus shipping-don't forget that!) price? You have mistaken me for someone who likes to be played with, Beautiful but not infallible Gucci Sunglasses! Because guess what! There's a new love in my life. And his name is Jimmy Choo.


Yes. What did you say? Speak up louder hunny. Oh you're saying that $195 on Amazon isn't that much better than your lame sale price? Well guess what else, former love of my life. I picked these up for $109.00! Yes I did. I took him home with me and we're very happy together. And just to make it sting a little more, I found him in the same store I met you.....don't cry. Oh you're begging me now, how sweet. Well it's been fun being led on and teased by you for these last couple years, but I've moved on. Now if you think you can match my Jimmy, we'll talk. But until then you can watch me walk away from you with my newer and cuter sunglasses and think about what could have been. No regrets. You can't say I didn't warn you.

Good Riddance,

Angel/Queen of patience and bargain shopping


PS Jimmy Choo also has better shoes than you too. Just thought you should know....

Hell on Earth is a shopping center in December

MrPea and I don't usually do gifts because we shop together often. Plus, he is the sort of guy who, if he wants it, he bought it already so that makes it so difficult to shop for him. This year we decided to do gifts. I am the sort of person who is usually finished Christmas shopping before December even rolls in but this year, economics forced me to wait until this week. I can't tell you where I went because MrPea likes ruining surprises for himself. I can't even tell you about the miracle wrapping techniques I had to use so that he wouldn't be able to shake, inspect, put his ear next to and figure out what. Yes, I had to sabotage for the sake of Christmas.

Oh. How the hell can anyone even think of shopping this time of year? There are some people out there who love all this. I am not one of them. I usually do not step foot in any retail store from mid November until February.


I actually stood in line behind someone who I just SAW park a $70,000.00 vehicle argue with a poor, tired looking cashier over 48cents. According to his calculation, his amount due should have been 48cents less than the cash register's figure. Honestly, I wanted to reach into my pocket and just give him the 48cents he was bitching about. I totally get it that economic times are tough-- MrPea and I have been cutting back on just about everything and I've been on pins and nails every time his company announces job cuts. OK I'm there. But this guy wasn't using a,"I'm sorry, I think there must have been a mistake," kind of tone. It was more of a,"You f-ing stupid ass people need to correct this extra 48cents otherwise I'll enjoy ruining everyone else's shopping experience...." outburst. The worst thing about it was, he was with his kid, who will likely grow up to be just as rude and entitled as his father. Happy Holidays....

The cashier kindly told him he'll have to take it up with customer service and I swear she is my new hero because there was a HUGE line at customer service. Just as someone who used to work in retail, and suffered through a Holiday season, I always cringe when I hear people say,"The customer is always right." No, my dear, the customer is not always right. Sometimes the customer is an assh@##. I didn't bother to see if he took it up with customer service but I did giggle with the cashier over it. Poor girl, I bet he wasn't even the worst of them. You know who 'they' are. You've probably been encountering 'them' just as much as I have.

What the hell happens to us at Christmas? Are we a bunch of vultures? Just a social critique but the only good thing that I hope will come out of our collective belt tightening this season is that maybe people will realize how ridiculously overboard they have been going as far as gift buying. Look, I'm no Scrooge, I LOVE buying gifts for my nephews but I still don't get why people spend thousands+ of dollars on their kids, tell them some strange man drops down the chimney to give them all these things for free and then wonder why their kids start acting all entitled and materialistic when they are too old to believe in Santa Claus. Don't jump down my throat, people with kids, I know-I know, I don't have any so I can't really say anything. But I'd rather raise my hypothetical kids to believe that 'mommy and daddy work really hard so I should be thankful for these wonderful gifts they bought me' than the above method. Mind you, this does not mean I would ruin Santa Claus for them. Of course Santa will come down our chimney, just not with 1000s of dollars worth of free stuff for being "good". I'm not delusional, I have 6 nephews ok? There's no such thing as a kid who's '$3000.00 at Toys-R-Us' good. I used to work for a Child Care Center in a neighborhood who will not be feeling the economic pain the rest of us are, and I can tell you right now, every single one of those children had some kind of behavioral problem. Because their parents were either the "I want to be my kid's best friend" types or the "buy everything the kid wants so he'll shut up" type. Or "they are being raised by their nannies and spend about 5 minutes per day with their kids so they use money to alleviate their guilt" type. And once in a while I'd run into the "I'm an unapologetic jerk and I want my kid to grow up to be just like me" type, like I did today.

Oh I'm in a bad mood today aren't I? Am I picking on kids? I can't be, I love children. I wish I had 10 of them I do. No, I'm picking on parents.

Well after all my lecturing about wasteful spending, my sister sent me this:

And it sounded like a reasonable request.

I finished only 5 dollars over budget for MrPea and have one more gift to get at Tar-jay. Oh help me if I have to spend more than 5 minutes in another store until all this is over.....

(I hate)Shopping for winter clothes

I've been busy lately. Instead of posting like a good blogstress, I have been at the mall looking for warm clothes to wear until Spring. I loathe winter clothes. I've already told ya'll this. I hate long sleeves, they make me feel like I'm in jail. I hate tights, they itch. I hate hats, I'm vain about my hair. I hate gloves, they make my hands sweat. I hate scarves, it feels like a noose. I hate jackets, they are heavy and once you get to your destination you have to drag it around all over the damn place. And most of all I hate pants. Yes, even jeans, the staple must have in every person's wardrobe. But the biggest of my many reasons I hate shopping for jeans/pants can be seen here:

Looks like a nice little outfit right? Navy cardigan, nice fitting jeans.....

Until you scroll down. I'm not a big fan of paying for new jeans and then having to pay even more to get them tailored.

I did end up getting the cardigan but not the jeans. I hate cardigans too but, like I said, I'm not going through another winter feeling like slouchy smurf. I heard about another store nearby that does free alterations. I'll probably go there this weekend.

I'm still looking for the shoes. I might get these for walking just cuz' I'm beginning to feel like a girl Jerry Sienfeld in my old Nikes. I'm just not crazy about the price so let me know if you guys see anything similar for less. I'm also still looking for some boots that don't make my legs look like two stumps.....

Bra Shopping

I've been a little sad since yesterday. I had to hug BFF and her daughter goodbye. We promised not to cry but I can never keep that promise. I purposely didn't go with them to the airport for that very reason. We've known each other since we were 8 so we are pretty close. I'll try to visit them this Spring if all is well for me health-wise. I can't think of anything funny or amusing to add to this paragraph.


To cheer myself up, I went shopping today. Bra shopping. Are you thinking that's the wrong thing to shop for to cheer one's self up? You'd be thinking correctly then. I hate those places. Yeah, put up a bunch of photos of women I'll never look like and use mannequins with bodies no Earthling is born with. Did I buy anything? Of course. Why? Because I share a first name with some of their bras and I can never resist something that has my name on it. Not because of vanity, mind you. It is to make up for the fact that when I was growing up I could never find anything with my name on it. All my other little friends had personalized pencils, erasers, and stickers. Not me. Of course that was back when everyone was named Jennifer, Lisa, Heather, John-- you know, normal names. I always thought people were so damn smug about being able to buy stuff with their name on it. Now of course I can find my name on stuff. I found a key chain with my name on it at Sea World last week. I wonder if people will continue with the whole "unique names" trend. Will they start selling key chains that say Apple on them? I sort of hope they do just so I can stop being so damn smug myself over a 3 dollar key chain.

Since I originally was talking about bra shopping and then got off subject I need to return to the hell that is lingerie shopping. I read somewhere that women in France spend a big percentage of their incomes on lingerie. Can someone tell me what kind of drugs they are on so that I can ask my doctor for them? Why does Victoria's SecretHell use the pinkest light they can find to accentuate every bump and fold on a woman's body? What woman wants to look at herself under those lights? And what is up with the kiddieporn clothing they call their "Pink" line. If I wanted to look like a ten year old I could just shop in the kid's section at Target and save 75%. Am I the only one who hates the fluorescent pink and yellow polkadots and stripes? I guess I'm just old and don't get it anymore. Last time I was there, the woman "helping" me said all my bras I wanted to try on were wrong , then felt me up and told me I was a different size. She told me to give her the ones I was holding and pulled out a drawer and put it in my dressing room and told me to try those ones instead. I thought," Oh how nice, she gave me a bunch of stretched bras everyone else with bigger boobs have already left their amoebas on for me. And all the bras are black, a color I never wear, thank you lady. Employee of the year." When I opened the door to tell her I tried on and hated everything in the drawer, she was gone. With all my bras I had originally picked out also gone. I was assuming she was switching out the sizes for me so when she came back I asked her where they were. She said she put them away. Great. I told her I can't really judge what bra is for me or not because I don't like black bras since I wear white a lot, plus these ones in the drawer are all stretched out. She told me they use black because it's neutral. Ok last time I checked,nude or beige was neutral so I told her I had picked out nude and white bras because THOSE WERE THE COLORS I WAS INTERESTED IN BUYING not black. She just gave me a blank look. At that point I had already been there for 45 minutes(with poor husband patiently waiting) and was so irritated I just left. This time I ignored the stupid drawer sales technique and thankfully, because I swear my bras are ancient it's been that long, I found a couple I liked. The thing is, I left thinking, "I should have just bought a new damn lipstick to cheer myself up instead of looking at myself under those pink lights all afternoon." BTW, as I suspected, the stupid sizing thing they did was wrong. I am NOT a ( bra size omitted for privacy/embarrassment)! I am a ( bra size omitted for privacy/embarrassment)! Oh and the bras I bought were the ones I had picked out myself the first time before genius sales lady "helped" me last time.


Ok and before anyone starts to feel sorry and the need to defend genius sales lady please don't. I was nice to her. It's just that I've worked in retail sales before. I wasn't pushy, I didn't have a "technique" , I left people alone. I was very good at it and I made a lot of money. How? By not taking items out of a customer's hands that she's obviously interested in and offering putrid germful things in undesirable colors to try on instead.

If hell had another name

It would be called Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I'm not sure why but that place intimidates and entices me at the same time. It's too organized or something. Organization intimidates me a little. If you shared a room with my sister growing up, you'd understand, but I'll tell you guys about that another time. And have ya'll noticed that all the smells are enough to wake the comatose? Those sachet things with an aroma haze dizzying up the air always have names like,'Pomegranate Breeze,' and, 'Lavender Fields' . I love those things. Only I can't differentiate what exactly I'm smelling when I pick one up because all the smells have become one big perfume soup and I've been enveloped in it. I felt like a cartoon character trying to get away from a bee swarm and the only way to really escape is to jump in a lake. And there's just so much damn stuff in there. I do need stuff don't get me wrong. Our walls are bare. I need new rugs for my bathroom and kitchen. We both need new shower curtains. Our comforter needs replacing and I need some extra blankets for when my in laws visit next month. And dammit I want some serious black out curtains in my bedroom before the summer sun starts waking me up at 7am. But there's almost too many choices, I get all confused. I don't go to those places with MrPea because I feel sorry for him when I subject him to this kind of stuff. Why? Because when I go to these places I'm suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to turn over, inspect, investigate every item in the store until I decide not to buy anything at all because the exact color, style, design I'm looking for does not exist.

I did buy a couple things including a tension rod I wanted to use to hang up a curtain to separate my closet from my bathroom. This is because my closet is in the bathroom so whenever I'm in front of the bathroom mirror, reflected behind me is my messy closet and I'm sick of looking at it. So rather than clean it up like any other non-lazy sane person, I'd rather just hang up a curtain there instead. However I managed to bend the tension rod in less than 5 minutes after I got in my car when I adjusted my seat to accommodate my, ahem, short legs. Great. I tried to fix it when I got home with some pliers and ended up squishing my finger which resulted in me re-breaking the tension rod with my foot on the balcony in a full fledged temper tantrum, Peanut joining in on the attack with teeth as his chosen weapon. There goes my $4.99.

All in all though, I feel good about my day. But I'm still not cleaning out that hole that is my closet. In fact I'm going back there tomorrow after my appointment for another tension rod cuz I'll be damned if I have to look at that mess in the mirror one more time.

Necesity is the mother of invention

I feel like burning incense. Problem: I have incense but no incense holder. Solution: go to the store? $19.99 for a fancy pants one, my foot! What else could I do but poke a hole in one of my favorite shells and use this dish for friggin' free. Kiss my behind Pier One!

Sweet Nothing

It's ass freezing cold out and the wind is making all those cool scary noises that I love so much. There's a fire in the fireplace, home-made soup heating on the oven, fresh coffee(pinch of sugar lots of cream!) and a sleeping dog warming my feet. I have so much leftover food from yesterday's feast, I don't have to do anything for dinner. In fact everything I wanted to do today is done, so I don't have to do anything at all. Life is goooood....According to the label on the candle, my home is supposed to smell like The Sea of Amalphi but I've never been there so how the hell would I know?

Remember this guy? He must have told all his friends about our hospitality because we had a Christmas visitor.


I haven't heard from my doctor about my scan results. I'll call around Friday if I haven't heard from her yet. But I imagine if there was something urgent to tell, they would have told me by now. Actually on my last day, the tech who was in charge of my scan was nice enough to show me my scans and(knocking on wood) it looked fine.

But I have to brag about my husband for just a second!! Oh gush! Oh swoon! On the first day of my scan I walked out of the hospital after lying still for three and half hours. I was feeling a little stiff from not being allowed to move, not even to itch my own damn nose- and boy was that mind over matter. Little did I know that someone went shopping for me. Look what my Mr.Pea had waiting for me. Joy! Joy!

My husband married a woman who is not impressed nor desires jewelry, perfume or flowers and prefers books as gifts instead. It must be confusing for him because it's taken almost 11 years to figure that out....better late than never. And what better way to spend a cold day inside relaxing by the fire than with some new books? I'm so loving that field guide...and I'm sure I've seen him taking a peek or two at some photos of beautiful Egyptian queen carvings. Should I be jealous?

I have to talk/bitch about clothes for just a second

But it's only because today I'm going shopping for a few warm things. Ok, I hate winter clothing, this is no secret. When I put on long sleeves and long pants, I feel like I'm in prison, I'm sure I've said this before but it's worth repeating. And I'm short so certain things can make me completely disappear. But like I said, I'm going to make the most of it. Usually I just wear old raggedy jeans and an old raggedy teeshirt with an old raggedy jacket and call it a day. I want to look respectable this year. And maybe appropriate. Those are two words I hate but I don't want to look raggedy this winter. That's probably why I'm always so damn depressed during that season and I refuse to feel like a bag lady anymore just cuz it's cold outside. I did manage to find a few things I love and I'm looking for some good shoes(I'm sure I'm not the only girl out there who has love for a good pair of shoes). However, I have just one major complaint. If I see one more of those 'word or phrase' outfits, I'm going to strangle myself. You know what I'm talking about right? Those "Juicy" on the butt pants? Those "Team Pink(or whoever)" shirts. Those "I'm hot" or, "I'm flirty", or "Can you afford this?", or "I met your boyfriend on myspace", crap these clothing companies keep trying to force on us. If you happen to like the stuff, don't be mad at me ok. It probably means that you're way cooler than I am, cool enough to get it. I just hate them. I feel like if you have to tell someone what you are by wearing it, you're probably not. Why would I need to tell anyone I was "flirty" on my shirt or on my behind? Ok I do have a shirt that says,"Aloha" on it, but it doesn't announce that I'm "Lookin' for a Sugardaddy" on the front and "I see you checking this out" on the back. Is there something I'm missing? I feel like a old grouchy lady when I say it but maybe I'm just an old grouchy lady then.



*I know I haven't been visiting much but I'll catch up when I get home today.

Last time I'm going to post about ym hair I promise

Unless it catches on fire or something like that. I just had to say that today I paid 25 dollars for a damn good haircut. Don't you just love when stuff like that happens? I didn't tell my new hairdresser how much I was paying before....so ya'll keep quiet if you run into her somewhere.

Hair(not the play), incase anyone was wondering-not that I was expecting anyone to wonder

Thanks for all the input guys! This is what I did. I took every one's advice and just canceled my appointment. I scheduled an appointment with another place for Wed. I'll try it a couple times and if I don't like it, I'm still not going back. My hair is long and straight, it's not that hard to cut and as long as it stays long and straight, I'm really not that picky about who cuts it. I went to that place for a long time and my original hairdresser who charged me 40 moved away and the new girl(s) they were sending me to were more expensive. I just think 60bucks is too much to pay for something as silly as "aesthetic maintenance." This doesn't count all the chemicals I'm always convinced into getting-highlights, toners, glosses, color. Sometimes my bill would add up to 150! Of course this is my fault for agreeing to do all this stuff in the first place but it's like I become this zombie the minute I have that robe on who says, ok sounds good. I also felt like I was getting this "look" because I stopped buying their shampoos($23.00). I don't use any products in my hair either. Basically the reason they charge so damn much is because they are a "(insert shishifoofoo brand name the 'cool people' like) lifestyle salon." I found another place that's just as nice and less expensive when I took my nephew to get his hair cut last week and I just felt more comfortable there. If I had a high maintenance 'do', I wouldn't mind the 60dollars plus tips.

There are a lot of things I would splurge for(like those glasses maybe-I'm still thinking about it) but not hair that ends up in a ponytail because of the heat anyway! I never thought I would EVER blog about my hair but there you go. I'm officially that girl that blogged about her damn hair, don't tell anyone. Ok tomorow I have to come up with something more hard hitting, any suggestions?

*Ok I just thought of something. I didn't/couldn't make this up. Today, while MrPea and I were at the store buying all kinds of stuff in bulk(don't even get me started on all the joys I get from buying in bulk), I had to use the bathroom. There was a lady in the stall next to me making all kinds of, um, noises. Porno noises. I only saw 2 feet so I know she was in there alone. Since she wasn't concerned at all about the fact that I was there, I decided not to care either and didn't bother trying to hold my laughter in. Who does that at a damn ware house store? Ok don't answer.

A superficial topic but oh well it's MY damn blog, isn't it?

-I'm thinking about breaking up with my hairdresser. She doesn't even know it, but Thursday might be her last chance to prove to me that the arm and leg I'm paying for a haircut and sometimes highlight/color/toner/whateveritisI'mstupidlyconvincedtodoeveryfewweeks is really worth it. Especially since I found someone just as good for half the damn price who won't push any of those ridiculously priced products (when I don't even use that stuff) on me. I was just going to cancel my appointment and never come back. Would that make me one of those guys who say they'll call after a few dates then don't? If so, I'm ready to live with that. Especially since it means I would be saving so much money that I wouldn't feel so guilty as to refrain from buying other ridiculously priced items that I desire a hell of a lot more than gels and shampoos I'll never use and aroma therapy crap that bring on my allergies.

-The thing is, I don't remember whether or not I gave her my blog address so if she's reading this then she'll know and if I decide to show up for my appointment on Thursday, I might walk out of that place with horrible hair. In that case, I'm definitely canceling my appointment and if they ask why, I'll tell the truth. If not and you're reading this, future ex-hairdresser, the truth is this: It's not you dear. It's me. I'd like to um, I don't know, NOT spend a damn arm and leg on hair that always looks the same anyway so I can have extra money left over for shoes, medical bills, and the like.

-I feel a little bad too because she's been cutting my hair for about two years now and she's really nice and very talented. Ok actually I just added up all the money I've spent plus tips in my head, and I don't feel bad anymore. I feel bad about the damn money I spent, that's what I feel bad about.

Dear Gucci Sunglasses

Dearest, Most Beautiful Gucci Sunglasses That Would Look Perfect Perched On My Freckled Nose,

I love you. Oh Lament that you cost $260.00 without the possibility of going on sale until probably December! But by that time you'll most likely be sold out or I'll be irritated from waiting too long for you and find (gasp! dare I say)prettier shades. Why Why Why do you have to cost so much? You know that I refuse to pay that much on principle alone. Why, you ask? Because, my love, you're made of plastic not platinum. And besides, I could care less about your name- Gucci, smoochy, it's all the same to me, hun-I could give a rat's, er, behind about your name. Do you see any logo handbags hanging in my closet? Hell no. Ok... you got me on the shoes but shoes are different. Shoes are sacred. And anyway, not a damn one of them, no matter what they cost have a logo of any kind on them. I simply refuse to pay a ridiculous amount of money so that I can be a sheep to advertise for free and be one of those people who walk around with their logos screaming,"Look at me, please look at me. Everyone check out this logo because you need to know how much this bag is worth/I am worth," on the inside. Those logos are all ugly to me anyway. If your designers could come up with a logo pleasing to my eye, you might just win me over but until then, not happenin'. But that's not the point. The point is, I love you. I have never been in love with or wanted an accessory like this. I'm not even sure why I love you so much. But, my darling, I refuse, I absolutely refuse to purchase you until your price goes below 200. My dear, believe me, I am tempted, I am tormented-I love you that much. But tempt me no more! My love is steadfast but so are my principles dammit. Why do you have to be the perfect shade of browns and beiges that go with every ensemble in my closet, why? Why did you do this to me? I search and I search and the best you can do for me is $234.00? Dearest, that's just not enough. Prove to me that you want me to wear you and go on sale, I beg you. If you truly love me, you will find a way! I'm waiting...I'm waiting. Don't make me wait too long.

Yours forever or at least until I find another pair worthy of my love for under 200 dollars dammit,
Angel

PS I know my shirt in my profile pic has a logo on it, dear. But it's such a pretty logo and the shape of a heart! A Heart! Not just some ridiculous letters in a ridiculous pattern. And anyway, I paid less than $20.00 for that shirt. So you see, dearest sunglasses? I just. won't. do. it. Sorry.

My shoes

There are two words that can put me into frenzy mode. Shoe sale.

This isn't a unique story. I'm almost loathe to talk about this to you, fellow bloggers, because you guys write about so many thought provoking and important subjects. I'm not the only woman in the world who loves her shoes, anyway. It's absolutely impossible for me to go shopping with a friend or sister and come home empty handed if any store I visit is selling shoes. Shoes are like crack to me. I have high heels, low heels, sandals, peep toes, wedges, all that good stuff. For every pair I own, I can tell you exactly how much, where, when, and what I was wearing when I purchased them-this is very silly but dammit don't I deserve a little joy? I always cringe a little when I hear someone say they have something cute and never wore, what a waste! I can find any excuse to put on a cute pair of shoes. Caught the flu? Wear those kitten heels to check the mail, you feel like utter crap, but the feet look cute. Feel depressed? Don't pop a Prozac, paint your toe nails blue and put on those peep toes. Gained some weight? Put on those black strappy platforms, black is slimming and anyway no matter what that hell forsaken number on the scale is, shoes always fit! The dog is sick? Drive him to his vet in your cutest nude wedge sandals--they contain the secret to healing. Got another f-ing doctor appointment? Wear these coffee colored wedges because, although the scary biopsy will hurt like hell, the design on the heel will look really sweet under that horrible lighting! I even specifically wore my pink heels the day I knew they were going to tell me I had thyroid cancer because, dammit I'll not be told I have the scary c-word disease in my ratty old brown flip flops! Hey, it's not the remedy for everyone, but it works for me. I have a couple pairs of shoes that could sell on Ebay for enough to feed a a family of ten boys for a few months. This is strange because I have a huge disdain for ridiculously expensive logo-handbags and the like(this is a topic I could bitch about for years). Would you be surprised to know that my favorite shoes are actually old daisy flip-flops I bought in the kids' section at Walmart for $4.99 a few years ago? I walked all over sexy South Beach Miami, survived two nasty hurricane seasons, visited two theme parks, walk Peanut everyday in those flip flops. My second favorite pair I bought in San Jose, California and my heart broke last month because the strap is broken again. I can't repair them because they've been repaired so many times and are just so old( I bought them during the dot-com boom, they're that old). But I refuse to throw them away because I like being able to say that I broke them dancing with my husband.

My shoe collection is outnumbered by my mother's. This is all her fault because this all started when I played dress up in her closet. I learned how to walk in high heels by 3rd grade. She says we're not, but I've asked her if we might be related to Imelda Marcos......

Yesterday I added two more pairs to my stash. Both wedges. I can stop any time I want, I don't have a problem! It was just this one more time and I don't feel guilty about a thing. But they were both less than $25.oo marked down from $70.00 and have you any idea how hard it is to find my size???? It would have been a sin to leave them behind, ownerless. I'm doing a public service, really.


Would it make you feel less dismissive of me if I told you I used to be an environmental/animal rescue activist and fundraiser? No? How about if I told you I donated an obscene amount to animal shelters and nature preserves in the past 12 years? I once saved a baby blue jay and woodpecker.....I'm more than just my shoe habit! I read, I paint, I create beautiful pottery dammit. I care about world events! Or should I just stamp "silly girlie shoe maniac, not to be taken seriously" on my forehead and get it over with? ok fine

Tuesday Confession

I went to Target today to buy some seeds and a new flower pot for some African Violets that haven't bloomed in forever because its pot is too small. The pot itself was $1.99 and the bottom-plate thingy was 49cents. The cashier scanned only the bottom-plate thingy and I didn't say anything. So instead of paying $2.48, I paid 49cents. An honest person would have said something. I don't feel guilty about it but with my strict Catholic upbringing and all, I thought I should seek absolution here. Forgive me Target, for I have sinned.....


Feel free to purge yourself of your own sins here if you feel the inclination. I absolve you.

Thrift shopping

I saw this at a thrift store. Tell me it's not the creepiest self portrait you've ever seen.....

and the price! My Lord the price!! $11.99 Are they crazy? No I didn't buy if that's what you're thinking. As if I'd be able to sleep knowing that thing might come to life and stab me to death.

I used to go to all the thrift stores and hit all the garage sales I could find. I could even be seen at the Salvation Army and Goodwill(but don't tell anyone lest they start shopping there too and all the prices will go up and there will be nothing left for the rest of us) looking for vintage clothes and digging through the housewares and paintings. For some reason when I lived in the Palm Beach area I stopped. I think it's because I'm so sick of moving that I didn't want to add any more stuff to all the crap we had to drag around already. Then I found Madge's thrifting blog and for a little while now I've been living vicariously through her. Her finds are so good and I'm always jealous because she picks out exactly the same things I would. You could say she re-inspired me.
I used to collect dainty-old-prettypretty-girly-Grandma's house style- tea cups , saucers, dessert plates, cream pitchers and sugar bowls. I had an entire set and nothing matched but that was the beauty of it. It was for coffee or tea with the girls. BUT after our 8 month stint in Hawaii,(when the dot come bubble burst and we moved back to the mainland dammit) my boxes arrived and my little plate collecting heart broke. Every. Single. Piece. WAS BROKEN Dammit! So I've decided to try again and here is the first piece (from Germany):

Someone put this in the dishwasher a couple times too many but there aren't any chips.

I've been bitching for months how sparse our home is so I just have to jump in and do something about it before my husband does. The last time I let him pick out our home 'stuff' we ended up with the furniture from Star Trek that I'm forever complaining about. He's just so retro like that. I still don't have any salt and pepper shakers. A girl's gotta start somewhere though.

Today!!

I:

-saw a beautiful bald eagle(but I don't have a damn digital camera yet dammit... but we won't get negative will we....)

-walked into the ladies room at the Cheesecake Factory where a Texan in a purple thong and red boots was trying on her new pants.(OMG I totally regretted not having a digital camera at that moment even more than the bald eagle moment)

-bought the winning lottery ticket(heehee-I hope)

-received a 'thank you for not dying of cancer gift' from MrPea(a mini-ipod yay...I am finally in the 21st century...now if I can figure out how to use it)

-bought a pack lipgloss, 3 for $.99(I would have been just as happy with that as my gift but don't tell MrPea lest he steal my ipod)

-found the newspaper clipping of me and Peanut in Quebec(that's right! Hard hitting news!)

I had to blank out my last name from the psychos.

What about ya'll?!

My new top

It's the little things in life that can make my day dammit! Last month I bought two pairs of 'ked' type shoes. You know the shi-shi-foo-foo super expensive type of little walking shoes that those women who wear those track suits with "juicy" on the butt buy? I got them for $6.99 each! I spent the rest of the day feeling like I won the damn lottery. Today I had another moment...I bought this tank top:


for $12.99 marked down from 60 f- dollars!!heehee! Although I have to say I hate shopping this time of year I usually hide from the stores until Feb....but I have to find something to wear to Mr.Pea's office holiday dinner. This isn't appropriate enough(don't you hate that word?)-I still have to find something.

Yesterday was nice enough to eat lunch outside

Hey look at my neck-no more mutant alien cancer bump! One of these days I'll have to post some before/after pix of my neck. It was really bad. I don't even care about the scar, I'm just glad to have normal neck again.


OH!OH!OH! I got some juicy funny gossip from Neenee!!!!! Some genius friend of hers gave this real sleazeball idiot guy my sister's cell number and he decided the best way to ask MY SISTER out was to send a naked picture of himself and then txt her again saying, "so when are we going out?" Um, how about NEVER! What a Romeo. Should I be cruel and post his picture???? I can! I can! Because she sent it to me just in case anyone thought I was making it up..... I will tomorow. It's decided. So stay tuned for the picture of Mr. Romance tomorow.



PS My plans for a digital camera are still on hold. That's why these pix are so bad. Oh and also-I wasn't making fun of those "juicy" on the butt pants I promise that was just the only way I could think of to describe my new shoes.