Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Somewhere over the....

Ok I've heard that song so many times, it makes me want to puke. But, it was fitting. This rainbow was straight. As in not arched(is that a word?). It was directly above us the other day and I've never seen one that was straight before.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Sunday, July 29, 2007


Can someone please explain a couple things for me? Because I'm not quite sure what I just saw here. Should I be shocked? Outraged? Creeped out? Happy?

*I want everyone to know that I do love hippos, I'm just a little unsure as to what that crazy woman's goal in life is.

My Aunt sent me this meme

> Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following ... They MUST be real places, names, things ... NOTHING made up! Try to use different answers if the person who tagged you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

* Your Name : Angel
* Famous Artist/Band/Musician: Aretha Franklin
* 4 letter word: Arse
* Vehicle: Alvis Stalwart-Amphibious Army Vehicle(yes I had to look this up)
* TV Show: Ancient Secrets
* City: Algiers
* Boy Name: Andrew
* Girl Name: Alexandra
* Alcoholic drink: Appletini
* Occupation: Architect
* Flower: African Violet
* Something you wear: Anklet
* Celebrity: Angelina Jolie
* Something found in a kitchen: Appetizers
* Reason for Being Late: Angry (at husband for getting bad directions?)
* Cartoon Character: Azreal(cat from the Smurfs)

This a little harder than I thought it would be but light enough for a Sunday morning post. As always I tag whoever wants to be. I'll be updating my links/cool people section in the next couple days-I've been so lazy about that. Let me know if you don't see yourself there and want to be included.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Dear Gucci Sunglasses

Dearest, Most Beautiful Gucci Sunglasses That Would Look Perfect Perched On My Freckled Nose,

I love you. Oh Lament that you cost $260.00 without the possibility of going on sale until probably December! But by that time you'll most likely be sold out or I'll be irritated from waiting too long for you and find (gasp! dare I say)prettier shades. Why Why Why do you have to cost so much? You know that I refuse to pay that much on principle alone. Why, you ask? Because, my love, you're made of plastic not platinum. And besides, I could care less about your name- Gucci, smoochy, it's all the same to me, hun-I could give a rat's, er, behind about your name. Do you see any logo handbags hanging in my closet? Hell no. Ok... you got me on the shoes but shoes are different. Shoes are sacred. And anyway, not a damn one of them, no matter what they cost have a logo of any kind on them. I simply refuse to pay a ridiculous amount of money so that I can be a sheep to advertise for free and be one of those people who walk around with their logos screaming,"Look at me, please look at me. Everyone check out this logo because you need to know how much this bag is worth/I am worth," on the inside. Those logos are all ugly to me anyway. If your designers could come up with a logo pleasing to my eye, you might just win me over but until then, not happenin'. But that's not the point. The point is, I love you. I have never been in love with or wanted an accessory like this. I'm not even sure why I love you so much. But, my darling, I refuse, I absolutely refuse to purchase you until your price goes below 200. My dear, believe me, I am tempted, I am tormented-I love you that much. But tempt me no more! My love is steadfast but so are my principles dammit. Why do you have to be the perfect shade of browns and beiges that go with every ensemble in my closet, why? Why did you do this to me? I search and I search and the best you can do for me is $234.00? Dearest, that's just not enough. Prove to me that you want me to wear you and go on sale, I beg you. If you truly love me, you will find a way! I'm waiting...I'm waiting. Don't make me wait too long.

Yours forever or at least until I find another pair worthy of my love for under 200 dollars dammit,

PS I know my shirt in my profile pic has a logo on it, dear. But it's such a pretty logo and the shape of a heart! A Heart! Not just some ridiculous letters in a ridiculous pattern. And anyway, I paid less than $20.00 for that shirt. So you see, dearest sunglasses? I just. won't. do. it. Sorry.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

What an awesome day!

Look what I did! Look what I did!!
I'm too lazy to put these in order but, you get the point. I wish I had brought my camera with me in the raft but I don't regret it that much since we ended up flipping ourselves over:o) Words can't even describe the beauty I saw today. This little pool was the only place dry enough to allow a camera.

I saw somethin' sneakin' around trying to soak up some sun. So I decided to climb around for a closer look.

I don't remember the exact name of this snake but I recognized him as a non-poisonous one. So I tried to make friends. He ignored me.

This little fish didn't ignore me though.

This limestone rock is of no significance but I just thought it looked interesting.

This tall tree breaks my heart.....in the good way.

I can't wait to come back to this place.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I feel cheap

$5325.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth. From Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

Mingle2 -

Somehow I thought I would be worth more than that. Damn.

Come to think of it, this thing is shocking isn't it? I stole this from a past post of Lollie's Follies. She's doesn't know me from Ann Landers but I don't discriminate in my thieving....

Monday, July 23, 2007


I took Peanut to his doctor Saturday morning. I've mentioned here before about his many surgeries to remove infectious glands from his, ahem, butt. It's taking forever for him to fully heal. He's been on and off antibiotics and steroids for months now. It's the same thing, over and over. For about a week he'll start to look better back there and then all of a sudden, he's swollen and in pain again. He was just there last week when they told me not to worry about him, just continue with his meds and he'll be fine. Saturday, I couldn't take it anymore, I can tell he's really uncomfortable and he's still having a hard time going. One of his doctors said he's probably stressed out. I said,"HUH?!!" I thought he was joking at first.

Does this dog look stressed out to you? If this is stressed out I'd like to see what relaxed is then.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Happy Birthday to meeee!

I live in a treeeee.

Ok I don't live in a tree, I just started singing that on my birthday when I was 5, like all 5 year olds did. Only I never stopped.

This picture has nothing to do with my birthday, I'm just sick of that old profile pic and this was the only way I knew how to change it. Thanks for all the birthday wishes!!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Where the hell am I?

-Under the weather. That's where I've been. I'm exhausted today but feeling better. It's going to take forever to catch up with everyone again. But I will.

- Yesterday was awful just awful. Nothing went right. But it's ok, it could have been worse. Plus it ended well.

-I had a doctor appointment on Wednesday and blood work done. She told me I have to do another radio-iodine pill with body scan in November. The cherry on top is the thyrogen INJECTIONS(my favorite word) two days in a row before the radiation. Nice. It's going to be so much fun.(can you hear the sarcasm or am I just always like that?) It's either that or go off medication for four weeks and suffer the low hormone levels like last time and I. AM. NOT. DOING. THAT. EVER. AGAIN. So I don't care how much those infernal injections hurt or how much they cost. Bring on those damn needles, dammit. She said I couldn't even think about even talking about having a baby for another year possibly two, maybe not all, we'll have to 'discuss' it later. That was the best news ever.(do ya hear it again, this is so not like me I think, what happened to the sweet soft girl I used to know?) Not that I was jumping to have one.... but still, it sucks to have someone say don't. I'll get over it tomorrow. Oh and I gained two pounds. I'll get over that tomorrow too. Ok I didn't really care about the two pounds anyway, I just wanted to test if you were paying attention.

-In spite of it all. Out of all the scary cancers I could have had, this is the one I would have chosen if I were forced to choose. Which I wasn't, so kind of it's pointless to say so. But it's true. Just ask anyone with breast or lung cancer if they'd like to trade places with me and they would, so I really shouldn't be complaining. It's actually curable and fairly easy to cure. I'm supposed to be considered cured but there might have been some left over from the first radiation. My treatments at this points are 'just in case' follow ups and probably overkill. I didn't have to lose my hair or do any of those scary chemo treatments. So I'll stop complaining about it then.

-On the bright side, since I can't have a baby, I'll have plenty enough time to go back to school then. I still want to be a kindergarten teacher. I thought I couldn't because of my voice, but it came back. I'll never complain about my voice again. I also have the ok to travel if I want to. My best friend from a gazillion miles away will be visiting with her daughter too. There, I'm feeling better already.

-Do I have any readers left? Leave me a comment if you still love me. That means you too my lovely lurk friends. And anyway my birthday is tomorrow.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Friday, July 13, 2007

A post by the elusive Mr.Pea himself

I want to set the record straight

Ms.Pea has no cellulite and I built the sand levee by myself.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Meme-tastic as I promised!


I got tagged by the great Ms.Heartinsanfrancisco herself to list 5 ways I raise my vibrations:

1. Of course music. If I could surgically attach my ipod to my ears, I probably would. I don't really have a preference of any kind, just whatever sounds good. Norah Jones is a staple and there's a song by Stevie Nicks that describes exactly the 'place' I 'was' while I was under anesthesia and who I was with. I heard it about a week after my surgery, fell to my knees and cried for some reason. I'm not opposed to filthy hiphop, although lately it seems a little juvenile and repetitive(like that stupid,"Pop,Lock, and Drop it-so annoying-and if I hear that idiotic song about lipgloss just once more, I might just cut my ears out)but every once in a while I'll hear something I like. I like everything though.

2. Art. Looking at, reading about, or creating it. I paint some. And I was into pottery and sculpture for a little while but I don't have a kiln so I stopped for now. I don't paint as much as I used to but it's still something I'm fairly good at doing.

3. Read. This a given. I like everything as far as reading goes too.

4. The sea...oh the sea. I ride my bike to the beach often to look for shark teeth or to just be. Sometimes I'm the only around(since it's still a secret beach) so I will sing at the top of my lungs.

5. Speaking of singing, I love to sing. I sing all the time. I sing in the shower, in the kitchen, in the car, at the beach(see above), while I'm walking my dog, etc,etc....This does not mean that I can sing good. I can sort of hold a tune. But since my surgery last year, I'm a little husky now. I probably should have lumped this with number 1 but I'm too lazy to edit. Ok I'll just add one more then: Walking Peanut. We have all sorts of adventures together and we've been just about everywhere(how do you think I found the secret beach?) Walking always clears my mind and I get my best ideas then.

So there it is. I'm supposed to tag 5 people but I'll just tag whoever wants to.


Ms.EllieBee who was also was kind enough to tag me for this AND a Rockin Girl Blogger Award(woot!) that I still never passed on to anyone, the ungrateful, lazy bitch that I am(wherein lies your cue,dear readers, to say in your most shocked voice,OH no! You're the nicest, sweetest person the world Angel!) But, honestly, I have the utmost admiration for everyone I visit and I hate to just nominate only five so it would take a week to cut and paste everyone's link that I read.....plus I lurk in a few places too where I'm too shy to comment just now.

1. Who was your best friend?

W. I can't write her name because she's still my best friend and I want to respect her privacy. I've known her since we were 8. I hung out with Sarah a lot too and the last I heard she married an ex-con. This is true, I met him before, he's an asshole as well as an ex-con. I haven't seen her in 10-11 years.

2. What sports did you play?

Sports? Cheerleading and gymnastics. Some people don't consider it a sport and I sort of agree even though I had some injuries to prove it. But here's the truth: basically it's an excuse to put a cute little outfit to prounce around in, in front of the whole school, most of whom will think you're either adorable or a complete, conceited bitch(and they were trust me). There are a few girls who take it REALLY SERIOUSLY as an artform. But I was not one of them-they got on my nerves. It got really old and I quit 2 months before graduation because I thought it was sexist, stupid and childish-yeah it took me years to figure that out. If not for upsetting my parents(because it cost so much and they were so proud of me) and Sarah-who quit with me-I would've quit earlier, I hated it that much. This is a really embarrassing fact that my husband will find any excuse to tell everyone. I did love gymnastics though so I was proud of that. I guess it could have been worse. It was a cute outfit.

3. What kind of car did you drive?

I didn't. Nobody bothered to teach me to drive so I didn't.

4. It’s Friday night, where were you?

Football game(see #2) or out doing stuff I shouldn't be doing.

5. Were you a party animal?

Not too much. The normal teenage thing. I was home by curfew-my parents were my prison guards they were so strict.

6. Were you considered a flirt?

I don't know. Probably. But not the obnoxious kind. I guess I still am. But not like that. I tease people a lot which I guess is a form a flirting, it's just not a sexual way-that's what I mean by obnoxious.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?

No, like I said I can't sing that well. I wish though. I tried out for orchestra but I failed the test.

8. Were you a nerd?

Probably. An art club nerd with my nose in a book all the time.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled?

Yes. Once in 6th grade for throwing candy on the bus. Once in 8 grade for mouthing off to my Science teacher. (he was a pervert and a jerk-nobody believed me) I also got caught skipping to go to the beach since my school was 2 blocks away from the damn beach.

10. Can you sing the fight song?

OMG yes, how dorky does that make me?

11. Who was your favorite teacher?

Mr. Beddard my junior high art teacher. He died of AIDS in 1992, it was awful. I had a lot of good teachers though, he was just special. The one everyone liked.

12. School mascot?

Senators. What a dumb mascot. My school was named after one-go figure.

13. Did you go to Prom?

Yes, just once. My boyfriend was a complete jerk and so was our double date. They fought the entire time.

14. If you could go back and do it over, would you?

Only if I HAD to. But NOOO not by choice.

15. What do you remember most about graduation?

That our valedictorian screwed up her speech ever but I congratulated her anyway because she was so nice. And that the key note speaker was my friend's dad. It was the happiest day of my life because I hated school.

16. Where were you on senior skip day?

At the beach.

17. Did you have a job your senior year?

No. My parents never let me get a job.

18. Where did you go most often for lunch?

To the beach or in the art room, painting.

19. Have you gained weight since then?

I gained 15 pounds-I was underweight so it's a good 15 pounds.

20. What did you do after graduation?

school, work, moved out, got married

21. Who was your Senior prom date?

I won't say. He was complete jerk, that's all I need to say.

23. Are you going / did you go to your 10 year reunion?

No. I have zero desire to see any of those people. I run into someone from time and time though.

24. Who was your home room teacher?

Don't remember.

25. Who will repost this after you?

Probably no one because this post is the longest post EVER. Plus everyone been tagged with it already.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Tomorow and tomorow and tomorow

I had a couple memes I promised I would complete tonight but I have to wait until tomorow. I haven't been feeling well or sleeping well the past couple days. So I only have 2 or 3 minutes before I fall into a sweet coma-like sleep of the century. I just wanted to say thanks for all the encouragement today because I was feeling pretty crappy and a little guilty. The worst thing in the world a person can do to me is hurt my feelings and I hate when I know I've done that to someone I love no matter how good the intentions were.

Letter to a loved one

Dear loved one who got angry and hung up on me this morning,
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I don't even know if you read here anymore or at all but I love you very much and pray every night for you and your children's health, safety and happiness. I'm not trying to be right, I'm trying to be honest with you. I sometimes feel like I am the only person in your life who loves you enough to BE honest with you and I'm NOT going to apologise for that. Everyone else just ignores it because they are afraid to have to deal with your temper. I told you that you were an angry person so in your rage(because I was SO WRONG), you screamed at me then hung up on me. I'm not going to go into how I don't deserve to be treated this way,blah,blah,blah. I don't even care about that. I'm so sorry that you have had a shitty time of life. I am. I was there too, I saw it all you know. But if you don't try to let go of all the anger and feelings of being the victim, you're going to bury yourself in it. You think I don't know you by now? I've known you all my life. I know that when you feel vulnerable, you use your anger to guard your broken heart so that no one can hurt you anymore. I know that besides me,T, and Neenee, the only people who ever truly loved you just as you are, are dead and gone. We mourned them just as much for your loss as we did ours. We loved them even more because of their love and hopes for you. But we're still here, hoping for you. You don't think it kills us to see you struggle this way? Stop being a victim. Stop blaming other people for your misfortunes. Take responsibility for your mistakes and bad decisions and let go of the shitty past. Own your part in this, nobody is innocent including you-including me! Letting go doesn't mean you're saying, it's ok what you guys did to me. It just means changing what's in your heart so you can give your children the best of yourself. It's about getting closure so that your anger will stop affecting your life. I have always been your advocate and always will be even if what I said to you means you will never speak to me again. Everything you say is true. EVERYTHING. You had every right to be pissed off all this time! You got the shittiest hand ever dealt. This doesn't mean you have to continue playing it though. We can't force those who hurt us to change but WE can change. It's not healthy to keep this sick cycle going. I'm not going to participate in it anymore. Stop it. These are the things everyone wants to say to you but doesn't. I'm not going to give you any more unasked for advice but I'm not going to lie to you either. I'm proud of you for all that you've been strong enough to get through. And I'm waiting for the 'you' that I know to come home.

Monday, July 09, 2007

My birthday's coming

My birthday is on the 21st. I'm turning 31. I'm not the sort to lie about my age, I know people who started saying they were 27 or 28 when they hit 30(and are still doing it-you know who you are!), but I just don't see the point. I think it's a little pathetic and continues that absurd idea that it's actually (gasp!) abnormal to get older(gasp!gasp!). That part of our culture that tells us we have to perpetually stay 19 never made any sense to me-even when I was 19. I can understand the need to take care of our bodies and want to look our best but I don't want to be a teenager in my 30s. I'm getting off the topic though.

Since my birthday is coming up I took out my diary from last year so I could read what I wrote on my 30th birthday. It wasn't a particularly interesting entry so I skipped a couple pages and found something that made me laugh so hard, milk from my cereal flew out of my nose. Especially since I've been lecturing my sister about how she shouldn't be so obsessed with feeling bad about her body and how society's image of beauty disgusts me. I went on and on about how we should love ourselves, and celebrate how different we are and exercise should be for health not to fit into a size double zero pair of jeans:

Monday-July 30,2006-11:35pm

It's official. I have cellulite. I saw it today. It's ok. It's not that bad. But it sort of happened over night-that's the only reason I feel just a little disturbed about it. I was sort of freaked out about it so I had to call W(my best friend since 3rd grade) and tell her about it. She laughed at me and said welcome to the club. It's just that it caught me by such surprise. If it had started in my teens like everyone else I know, it wouldn't have been such a shock and I would just be used to it by now. But......ok, I've accepted it. I'm at peace with my cellulite and now I can move on.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Aimless and Random

-There's something amazing about a chubby,water-wrinkled miniature hand, clutching my own because owner of hand is afraid of the dark, water park pirate ship and needed someone to accompany him. Especially since 4 year old owner of hand just bragged about how he's not afraid of anything in the whole world, not even sharks or monsters.

-Speaking of water parks, I had to scream at some people who appeared to be 20somethings, but were probably teens, I can never tell. Basically they were old enough to know better and frankly too old to be in the little kids section anyway. They were climbing down some watery, pirate treasure stairs the same time me and my chubby handed little friend were and they were pushing against us so aggressively in their hurry and excitement, my nephew slipped and fell. I'm not an assertive person.... still though. I yelled,"Excuse me, there's a 4 year old child here!" Not that it mattered, I wasn't born on this Earth to teach anyone how to behave and when I was that age, anyone over 18 was lame. And anyway I forgive them, we all act like idiots in those kinds of places. You really have to LOVE your kids a bunch to bring them to any kind of amusement park. I'd rather stick my fingers into light sockets than hang out there but, it's for the kids, how can I refuse?

-My house is a complete disaster. Someone must have snuck into my fridge and ate my cold KitKat dammit. There's string cheese wrappers in corners I didn't even know existed, cookie crumbs under the dining table, chocolate finger prints on my outdoor cushions and any minute now, the pile of dirty beach towels in the laundry room is probably going to come alive and start walking around. There's really no point in telling anyone about this. It just makes me feel better to write it down since I'm too lazy to clean but not too lazy to walk to the store to buy some more KitKat.

-Peanut was NOT a good boy. I'm pretty sure if I could have heard his thoughts it would have gone something like this: "Great! Someone close to my size! I should hump it!"....." Great! Someone close to my size! It's going to be so fun and easy to steal food from it."....."Great! Someone close to my size! I'm going to use it to distract Angel so I can run out the door when they try to leave!"......"Yes! The little ones move around a lot! I'll use them to show off my herding skills!"..... "Who's dropping all these crumbs on the floor? I love you. When Angel's not looking I'm going to jump onto your lap and scare the hell out of you, so when you start screaming I'll steal the rest of your sandwich."....."Why did Angel lock me in the bedroom again? It can't be because I was humping everyone, they want me, they just don't know it yet. They say no but they mean yesssss." I do love an unruly dog, I truly do. He's a little sad and lonely today so I thought we would go for a long walk after lunch.

-Being around my sisters' kids sometimes make me wish I had a chubby-handed little one of my own. But don't tell Peanut lest he think I love him less.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

I have been a neglectful blogstress

These photos are my excuse. But I don't feel the least bit of guilt over it.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

I love summer

And yes that is blue nail polish on my toes.