Reunited and it feels so good

I finally got my haircut today. It's been since May but it really didn't count as a real haircut that time because I got this genius idea to try an $18 dollar place. Never again. My sister whose hair is the same length and texture as mine found a place where she lives that charges $18 without a wash and blow dry and she LOVED it, swore she'll never go anywhere else, told me I should try it out here where I live since it's a chain. I've been looking for a new place to go because I got really sick of paying $75 for someone to cut my long, straight, easy to cut hair because the girl I'd been going to for a long time ran off to Minnesota(of all places to run off to). I went to a spa place a few times and I really liked it, I even got a massage there last year while I was recovering from being off my meds for all that time and I was sore. Then another owner took over and turned the place into redneck heaven. Mind you, I love the south. I consider myself a southerner by preference and I can turn on/off my accent when need be. But when I get my haircut or any kind of beauty treatment, I don't want to feel like I'm in the middle of a HeeHaw rerun. I'm not exaggerating. They got some kind of 'company vehicle' , to advertise and impress the customers. Yeah. Hot Pink Hummers with sparkly rims don't appeal to me as a client whatsoever. If this makes me a snob, then I'm just a snob. The stylist I was used to just dissappeared one day and when I asked which salon she moved to they wouldn't tell me, I think because they were hoping I would just say ok, who else is avaliable. No thanks. I was only putting up with the hard core blue grass music and the yelling profanities back and forth between the mother and daughter owners because I liked the way she cut my hair and her price so this gave me an excuse to go somewhere else. Before that I was going to a woman who only charged me $25 and she was really good. I loved her but she decided to become a real estate agent(in this market when I have all this hair dammit!) so again I was a style orphan. Which brought me to the place my sister told me to try. Yeah. The guy they put me with was greasy, his nails were filthy and he smelled like an ash tray that hadn't been cleaned out since the days of Studio 54. And he barely cut anything and what was cut was lopsided. And he charged me $35, not the $18 my sister had me all excited about. So remember the stylist I "broke up with" that one time? In a moment of weakness I decided to go back. Best decision ever. I don't know why I ever fell out of love in the first place. Well ok I know why. It was expensive and I always felt pressured to buy ridiculously priced products when I was done. But oh man did I have beautiful hair once upon a time and it was because of her! So I had to go back. I had to. Why did I not see that before?! I mean, I get a haircut maybe 2-3 times a year. Why should I feel guilty about it? So maybe the shitty economy is actually good for something because it didn't cost me as much as before(although it was still a little pricey but I need to stay in this moment a bit longer). And all I did was say no thanks when a product was suggested for me to buy. Oh to have pretty hair again. It was beginning to look like I had just been kicked out of the Garden of Eden.


How much is too much to spend for a haircut to you guys?

Home Sweet Home

I had a good time. I miss my nephews and my sis. This picture pretty much sums up my trip and looking at it kind of breaks my heart. I'm not sure why fate saw fit to place these people so far away from me.

My flight was delayed last night so I got in really late. I also caught some kind of head cold which seems to always happen when I travel but oh well. MrPea and I were supposed to go on our own trip this week but we decided to go the week of my birthday instead. Until then I'll be nursing my cold and catching up on my sleep.

Just a few things before I leave on Sat

-I found a Power Ranger Tshirt size 5T. It's a size too big but I had to go on a damn oddessy to find it so that baby is going to have to just wear it anyway. I got souvenir tees for the older two but the little one said he likes Power Rangers so I had no choice. I went everywhere. Two different Targets-no Power Rangers. Walmart-nothing. Bealls-nope. Kohl's-uh uh. Kmart-nyet. Finally I broke down and went to the mall. Luckily, I found a Disney store and they had some. Crisis avoided. Go Power Rangers!

-The Disney Store. Um. Yeah. If you haven't had kids yet and were even contemplating the idea of pushing one out, don't go there. And for the record I feel sorry for/hold the utmost admiration for anyone who is so cursed as to have to bring a child there and doesn't end up in a straight jacket. The employees seem to know the inner demons that will be unleashed in kids upon stepping foot into that store and take advantage of it. I saw one following a poor mother around making all kinds of suggestions while the woman, who BTW was clearly on the verge of some kind of emotional breakdown, just said, "yes yes we'll get those honey," just so her kid would calm down. Yep. It's not going to be a destination for the Pea Family when I push one out. I said it. Write it down.

-The baby birds are gone. Should I be worried about that? I mean they were getting bigger and all but I can't believe they would be big enough to just fly away. Is it possible that the mother moved them to a different nest? Does that happen? Please don't say a cat got them. I mean I know it's a possibility but it would be hard for me to believe since no one in my building owns a cat and I doubt any stray would have found them. Plus I'll be heartbroken so I'll have to pretend they didn't like the noise and just moved. The nest is still there in perfect condition. I'm going to have to investigate. Their location was at the LadyNextDoorWhoHatesMe's front doorway so it's going to be hard for me to get some answers from her. I better not find out that she did something like complain about them living in her wreath.

-My trip(s)! My trip(s)! My nephews don't even know I'm coming. I don't know how my sister and I kept this secret for 3 weeks without slipping, but we have. I think she's planning to load them into the car by saying, it's a nice day, let's go for a drive. Oh man, they're all going to get pinched on the belly. One by one. MrPea's and my trip South was postponed until my birthday so I'll be home Wednesday instead of next Monday. I was dying to look for shark teeth down there, but I guess I can wait. I'll try to post while I'm gone but if I don't I hope everyone has a Great Independence day and a safe week.

Random is as Random does

-I got an email inviting me to a high school reunion. My 15th year high school reunion. Well, well, well. It's pretty odd to get an invitation in October for an event that is going to happen in June but I suppose it;s like a wedding invite where you need to plan around. I'm feeling pretty indifferent about it since I already keep in touch with the people I had wanted to and frankly don't care one way or another to hear about the rest. High school was for me as with anyone, shitty most of the time with a few really great memories. I probably can't fit back into my cheerleader uniform but I was never a huge fan of the school colors anyway. I'm not going to go and I'm not exactly sure why I should feel bad about it since everyone I've told about it says,"No! No! You should really go." It's not so much that I'm LOATHE to go, it's just I don't see the point, there's not going to be anyone there I'm dying to see and since I moved back here, I run into just about everybody anyway. Do you disagree?



-Confession: I accidentally ran over some one's newly paved driveway the other day on my bicycle. Really though, not much harm done because the pave guy(I don't know what the job title was but he was nice to me) was able to fix it since it wasn't completely dry. Still though, I felt bad about it. Absolve me Internets.


-Um. Last week while I was looking for shark teeth, this guy came up to me bragging about his find. That was fine. But when he started with his lectures and instructions about how wrong I'm going about it I had to shut him down by reaching into my pouch pocket. My smallest one was bigger than his biggest one. Does size matter? Absolutely when you've got some jerk in your face telling you what to do and talking out of his ass. I hate when men do that to me, actually everyone does this to me. Just because I'm small and smiley, I must be stupid and in need of guidance. I wrote about this before, small people of the world, you know what I'm talking about. You guys know my shark teeth prowess, I don't need to tell you guys about it.

-Speaking of shark teeth hunting, I wonder how I must look to people who may happen to look out the window and spot me. Big floppy hat, green bathing suit, pink flip flops. Yellow pouch worn sideways that my husband makes fun and says makes me look like a crossing guard. Eyes furtively looking around, head down, shoulders crunched, staggering like a drunk person, gleefully giggling with every find and quickly putting in my bag before anyone sees because I'm stingy like that. Oh and don't forget my pepper spray conspicuously clipped to my bag so as to warn Psychoman if he decides to try it. Or do I look like Psychoman?


-The other day my sister said this to me:

Her: My gawd! You went to the beach again? What the hell, Angel how many shark teeth do you need?

Me: Wellll, it's just that.....low tide was at 1.... and ...and... and the North wind is picking up so I thought...

~~~pause~~~~(defiantly) well guess what?! I'm going again tomorrow!

Her: You're going to drive yourself blind girl. You need to calm down.

Me: SO?!

Her: Didn't you just go Monday? What do you do with all those shark teeth- put them in a damn bowl and sit there whispering,"mine mine all mine?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LONG PAUSE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Me: SO!!!!?


Yeah. It's that important to me.

Tuesday Confession: My height

I tell everyone I'm 4'11". Actually I'm exactly 4'10 1/2". It's just that saying the "and a half" part sounds like it actually means a lot to me so I don't bother. Because it doesn't. And I figure I might as well round up since either way people laugh.


Tattletale!: My sister Neenee tells everyone she's 4'11" too. I'm taller than her so she can't be. I'm also taller than my mom and my other sister C. I'm the tallest girl in the family. Ha! I accomplished this by drinking milk....


These pics are bad because I took them with my cell phone. I was too lazy to dig out my camera and in a hurry to find some teeth.

I was barely there for 2 minutes when these popped up.
I rode my bike as usual and the scent of honeysuckle was in the air the entire ride. It was nice to be back, it's been too long. I have to admit, I laughed the whole way down the entrance stairs, I was so damn giddy. Jumping up and down was also involved.
The weather this week is going to be stormy so I probably won't get back out there until Sunday or Monday, depending what time low tide will be on those days.

Too quiet

The house is too quiet now. I got used to my nephew's chatter. I tried unsuccessfully to get him to say,"thank you," just so I could tell him in the future that he learned his good manners from me. It was a long shot since one year olds don't normally know how to pronounce double consonants. I did hear,"mama", now and then. I guess that's a more important word and easier to learn.

Surprisingly(or unsurprisingly), Peanut did not attempt to hump anything or anyone during the entire visit and I was very pleased about that. He did attempt some thieving of Nilla Wafers but they were already on the floor and I'm sure I saw him sticking his nose into my sister's backpack looking for something to steal but I'd rather live with a thief than an a compulsive humper for a pet. So I was ok with that. I also was not in any position to have to change any poopy diapers and I was very pleased about that as well. I'm still suffering from PTSD since the last time.

When my nephew was born he was the spitting image of yours truly. Now he doesn't resemble me at all. Is it weird to say that it hurts my feelings? But it's ok since he does look like my Grandpa all the way down to the round, sticking out, Santa Claus belly. This morning I woke up almost expecting to hear giggling and babbling. I wandered into the room where they were staying with a little broken heart because there was no giggling little one holding his arms up to me. My bed cushions smell like baby lotion and corn starch powder and my arms are missing that heavy, fat bellied baby who loved me most when he was in trouble with mommy.

I guess I should mention that I miss my sister too :O)

I have been a neglectful blogstress

These photos are my excuse. But I don't feel the least bit of guilt over it.

I didn't disappear

I'm not going to say I've been busy. I hate when people say that as in, "Sorry I haven't called/came by. I've been busy." No matter how sweetly or honestly intended someone says that, it just always sounds like,"I've been too busy for you." So I haven't been busy, I've been running a mile a minute with my sister and nephews. The past few days have been a blur of sun, wind, water splashing, water parks, water in my eyes, Peanut, pools, sunscreen, the ocean, little boys running around yelling "Auntie, watch this! Auntie can you fix this? Auntie look! Auntie guess what! Auntie I caught a lizard! " Good times. I say this with all affection and honesty, anyone who is brave enough to have more than one kid should be awarded sainthood right now. They're here for another week so I imagine my posts and visits will continue to be sporadic until then. I only get to see them once a year since she lives a gazillion miles away so we've all been pretty much joined at the hip.

*Miss Ellie bee has honored me with a rockin female blogger award! YAY! Thank you! I have to wait until I have more than a minute to myself to pass it on. Hope everyone has been having as much fun as I have this weekend.

A Boyfriend for Neenee?-this is a 're-run' she wanted me to re-post so that we could make fun of him all over again. Enjoy!

Neenee didn't have her internet hooked up at the time this was originally posted so she wanted to me to re-post it. We still haven't gotten over the grossed-out-ness this gave us. The story behind this, if you've never seen it before is, this guy is a friend of a friend. When he heard that she was getting a divorce, this was his way of requesting a date. He sent this picture to her cell phone with the charming words of,"So when are we going out?"

Um, How about never?


I DON'T THINK SO!!!

As promised here is the picture of the idiot who thinks sending naked pictures of himself is the way to a girl's heart.


Hey Romeo! Let me give you a little tip-my sister doesn't want you ok? She might be too polite to say it frankly-but FRRRANKLY(and luckily)-I'm not. And sending her this picture thoroughly grossed us out. I'm sure you're really proud of yourself to have actually taken the time to pose and primp for her and maybe this sort of behavior works with the kind of women you're used to but you're not her type. What is her type? Well number 1-not you. Number 2-the opposite of you. Number 3-men who don't send pictures of themselves thinking the recipient will be too filled with desire to be grossed out by the fact that a total stranger just sent her a creepy naked photo. You know, really, we feel sorry for you-because you're delusional-we can tell that you're really impressed with yourself-it's obvious you take care of yourself-but maybe no one has put you in your place before or rejected you. And guess what, Mr.Ienjoysendingnakedpicturesofmyself. You're not as hot as ya think and by the way the disco era is over-crazy cool medallions should be put away or reserved only for gangsta rappers.......I'm sure I haven't hurt your feelings and that you'll go on with your life thinking you're hot-hot-hot, but I just thought you should know. For future reference: a simple,"hi how are you, would you like to join me for lunch?" is usually the best way to go if you want to date an actual person with a working brain.



She also wanted me to mention that he's from New Jersey, sells insurance, and he drives a BMW in case there are any ladies out there who might be interested in his hot-beefcake-action....

In trouble

This is one of my mom's favorite pictures. I was about 4 or 5 and I still remember when she took it. We were staying in a hotel because my dad was in the Navy and we were moving to Hawaii. At the time, I didn't think it was funny because it was our older brother's fault that we were even in trouble and you don't see any boys in this picture do you? What was the crime that we committed? I believe it was jumping on the bed and throwing paper airplanes when we were supposed to be getting ready for bed.

To this day, I still say we were unjustly punished. My brother got to watch tv while we had to stare at the wall. AND he was the one jumping on the bed and throwing paper airplanes and making all kinds of noise, NOT US.(we didn't even know how to make paper airplanes,but no one believed us) I use this as proof that we had a strict upbringing because for whatever reason most people in our extended family think we grew up as spoiled, undisciplined brats..... As if they never met my dad. That polka-dot ruffled dress is a perfect example of my 5 year old personality.

Another Productive Conversation With Neenee

Like I've mentioned before, I talk to my sister just about everyday. She lives a thousand miles away but that doesn't stop us from having some of the most random, dum-dum conversations. She's also in the middle of a really horrible divorce(and OH I plan to blog about that one of these days, lemme tell ya! But I'm zipping it for now) so it can get a little colorful as well. When she or I call, it's always as if we were already in the middle of a conversation as in:

(cue phone ringing)

Me: Hello?

Neenee: And did you know that bastard had the nerve to imply......

Me: Jerk!

Neenee: Asshole!

Me: They have cute sandals at Target, you should go check it out.

Neenee: Yeah! I saw! Ok, call you back I have to run out the door and pick up D- from the bus stop.




---Two hours later---

(cue phone ringing)


Neenee: Hello?

Me: I can't stand that s***! Gets on my nerves!

Neenee: Huh

Me: You know, like when you're listening to a really good romantic R&B song. And you're thinking wow this is a really good song, I think I like it. And then the singer has to go and ruin it by pausing in the middle of the damn song and start talking in a cheesy, deep, breathy-porn voice to the music, You know baby...I just want to take some time to tell you how I feel...I luuuuuv you. Sounds like an idiot!

Neenee: What the hell kind of station are you listening to?




-----The next day(which actually is today):----

(cue phone ringing)


Me: Hello?

Neenee: Omigosh I know exactly what you're talking about now. You know what I can't stand?

Me: huh

Neenee: Ok the cheesy talking doesn't bother me so much but on the video(R&B boyband)-like when they start rubbing their chins and licking their lips. Gross! Is that supposed to turn us on or something?

Me: I know right!

Neenee: (directed at chin-rubbing and lips-licking offender on tv) Barry White can do that,ok? Not yeeew! And button up your shirt, nasty-man.


Me: Girl-repellent.

Neenee: Went to Target, my size was all gone.


----Two hours later----

(cue phone ringing)


Neenee: Hello?

Me: Hurts my feelings!

Neenee: Who?

Me: Not who, it.

Neenee: What it?

Me: My coffeemaker is broken and it hurts my feelings.

Neenee: I'm in love with Anderson Cooper. I heard he might be gay but damn I'd love to maybe change his mind....that hurts my feelings.





The conversation never really goes anywhere and it's never really over either.

Best Comeback Ever

When I was 5, Neenee and I made up a really good comeback to say when someone has said something mean or idiotic. I , personally, have never had the chance to use it on anyone other than my sis or my husband but I look forward to using it one of these precious days. I've decided to share it with the world for the sake of everyone out there who's been insulted, then got mad at themself because they thought of something good to say after the fact. Feel free to use it-it is my gift. If Person A says something rude like, you look like crap today, Person B's response is:

Don't act wise, Bubble-eyes! Cut you down to Peanut-size!




*This has nothing to do with my dog, Peanut, whom, I didn't know then and everyone knows the high esteem in which I hold him.

Most embarrassing moment of my life

#1

Time: Jan.1983, 8:05 am
Place: Pearl Harbor Elementary-2nd grade morning line up section

I was 7 years old
I made the dumbest mistake of telling my sister during Christmas break(yesssss, it was Neenee) that I had a crush on Rodell, my lunch line partner, who up until that moment traded chips with me everyday during snack. Her real intentions unbeknownst to me, Neenee decided to be big sisterly that day and walked me to my class. She even invited a couple of her cool 5th grade friends to come with us. I felt extra-special-cool to be seen with older girls from the "cool people section" at school. *OK before I even go on are you guessing what happened? Should I even finish? ok I'll finish:

So there I am, trying to be cute in my new purple miniskirt and my sister and her"cool people section" friends decide to serenade me as I'm walking to my assigned place in line.

Oh- did you want to know the song they chose? It was called "Angel loves Rodell"-that's my name by the way. Just in case anyone would like to sing on their own or in the shower...where ever...I'll include the actual lyrics:

Angel Loves Rodell!
Angel Loves Rodell!
Angel and Rodell sitting in a tree---k-i-s-s-i-n-g.........

Oh you already know that song? Because I thought Neenee was just the most talented song writer and by the way I have to mention that they sang so loud and clear that it echoed throughout the entire school.

Isn't that so romantic?


Rodell moved to California two months later but by that time I had transferred my feelings to Scotty, my field trip partner.

She said-She said-He heard

Since the moment we met, MrPea and I sometimes misunderstand each other. My husband's first language is French and he speaks excellent English, but with a beautiful accent and I have a barely there southern accent(that I can turn off and on)-so sometimes I have no idea about one or two words he's using and vice versa. I can't yell as loud as I used to and he doesn't yell or speak loud at all so it's more frequent lately. As always, I was on the phone with my sister, Neenee, last night. Here's a little snippet of our conversation:

Neenee: "Hey, you should watch Primetime tonight. They're doing a segment on hoarding."

Me yelling to MrPea in the next room: "Can you record Primetime for me? It's about hoarding, you know, that's what my mom sort of does!"

MrPea: "Huh?"

Me(impatiently): "Hoarding! Hoarding! I'd like to learn more about it so I can try to help my mom with her hoarding!"


.....................................................pause of silence...................................................................................

MrPea(slowly): "I'm sorry, can you say that again?"


This is what he heard: "Can you record Primetime for me? It's about whoring, you know that's what my mom does.....Whoring! Whoring! I'd like to learn more about it so I can try to help my mom with her whoring!"





I'm so sorry, Mommy-I would never say that, I would never even think it! It was him! Him! Not me!

A Boyfriend for Neenee?

I DON'T THINK SO!!!

As promised here is the picture of the idiot who thinks sending naked pictures of himself is the way to a girl's heart.


Hey Romeo! Let me give you a little tip-my sister doesn't want you ok? She might be too polite to say it frankly-but FRRRANKLY(and luckily)-I'm not. And sending her this picture thoroughly grossed us out. I'm sure you're really proud of yourself to have actually taken the time to pose and primp for her and maybe this sort of behavior works with the kind of women you're used to but you're not her type. What is her type? Well number 1-not you. Number 2-the opposite of you. Number 3-men who don't send pictures of themselves thinking the recipient will be too filled with desire to be grossed out by the fact that a total stranger just sent her a creepy naked photo. You know, really, we feel sorry for you-because you're delusional-we can tell that you're really impressed with yourself-it's obvious you take care of yourself-but maybe no one has put you in your place before or rejected you. And guess what, Mr.Ienjoysendingnakedpicturesofmyself. You're not as hot as ya think and by the way the disco era is over-crazy cool medallions should be put away or reserved only for gangsta rappers.......I'm sure I haven't hurt your feelings and that you'll go on with your life thinking you're hot-hot-hot, but I just thought you should know. For future reference: a simple,"hi how are you, would you like to join me for lunch?" is usually the best way to go if you want to date an actual person with a working brain.

A Boyfriend for Neenee

My sister, Neenee, is going to be single again soon. She gave me permission to tell EVERYTHING about her soon-to-be-ex, and I have pictures too dammit!!!....however I've decided not to---hmph, for now. But, I have decided that I should be in charge of finding her a new boyfriend. She said I could as long as choice number one was :





Mr.George Clooney

Why he should be her future boyfriend:
1. He has salt and pepper hair-she likes that
2. He owns a lake home-she lives in one too
3. It would totally irritate her soon-to-be ex---we like that

Why he should not be her future boyfriend:
1. He drives this and it would mess up her hair-she doesn't like those
2. She told me just the other day,"I don't 'do' lakes, I like the sea."
3. Um, actually those are the only 2 reasons we could think of

Just in case though, we'll keep looking.