Another Productive Conversation With Neenee

Like I've mentioned before, I talk to my sister just about everyday. She lives a thousand miles away but that doesn't stop us from having some of the most random, dum-dum conversations. She's also in the middle of a really horrible divorce(and OH I plan to blog about that one of these days, lemme tell ya! But I'm zipping it for now) so it can get a little colorful as well. When she or I call, it's always as if we were already in the middle of a conversation as in:

(cue phone ringing)

Me: Hello?

Neenee: And did you know that bastard had the nerve to imply......

Me: Jerk!

Neenee: Asshole!

Me: They have cute sandals at Target, you should go check it out.

Neenee: Yeah! I saw! Ok, call you back I have to run out the door and pick up D- from the bus stop.




---Two hours later---

(cue phone ringing)


Neenee: Hello?

Me: I can't stand that s***! Gets on my nerves!

Neenee: Huh

Me: You know, like when you're listening to a really good romantic R&B song. And you're thinking wow this is a really good song, I think I like it. And then the singer has to go and ruin it by pausing in the middle of the damn song and start talking in a cheesy, deep, breathy-porn voice to the music, You know baby...I just want to take some time to tell you how I feel...I luuuuuv you. Sounds like an idiot!

Neenee: What the hell kind of station are you listening to?




-----The next day(which actually is today):----

(cue phone ringing)


Me: Hello?

Neenee: Omigosh I know exactly what you're talking about now. You know what I can't stand?

Me: huh

Neenee: Ok the cheesy talking doesn't bother me so much but on the video(R&B boyband)-like when they start rubbing their chins and licking their lips. Gross! Is that supposed to turn us on or something?

Me: I know right!

Neenee: (directed at chin-rubbing and lips-licking offender on tv) Barry White can do that,ok? Not yeeew! And button up your shirt, nasty-man.


Me: Girl-repellent.

Neenee: Went to Target, my size was all gone.


----Two hours later----

(cue phone ringing)


Neenee: Hello?

Me: Hurts my feelings!

Neenee: Who?

Me: Not who, it.

Neenee: What it?

Me: My coffeemaker is broken and it hurts my feelings.

Neenee: I'm in love with Anderson Cooper. I heard he might be gay but damn I'd love to maybe change his mind....that hurts my feelings.





The conversation never really goes anywhere and it's never really over either.