I turned into my own mom 3 weeks ago

But only for a minute. We went out to a club with some friends. This club had two rooms; a hiphop room and an 80s room. For dancing I always prefer the hiphop room but it's never 'the cool people section.' For some reason, and this is in every club I've ever been in, the 80s room is always 'the cool people section.' So of course, the people we were with wanted to be in there. I love 80s music as I love all kinds of music but I guess because I was a kid during the 80s, it's hard for me to feel like I'm really in 'the cool people section.' This is because it's impossible for me to listen to 80s music without the image of George Micheal bouncing around in those daisy dukes. Don't get me wrong, I adored him. I remember my little 11 year old self sitting in my best friend's living room eating oreos and giggling whenever that song came on MTV.(back when MTV actually played videos, remember? good times) I had such a crush and dammit I'll admit it! My older brother used to tease about it and say,"What the hell is wrong with you? He's not interested in girls, check out those shorts, do you need any more proof than that?"

I thought he was an idiot and that there was no possible reason on Earth that this man wouldn't eventually fall in love with me, but that's another story. Back to the club: I needed to use the bathroom. I'm not the sort of girl that always has to have another girl with me just to go to the bathroom. So I went alone. I had to pass through the hiphop room. I was jealous of all the people in there dancing and having a good time. Because I was stuck in the lame 'cool people section' where no one was really dancing,"Come On Eileen" was blasting, and all the people were drunkstupid(not drunkfun). Hiphop is supposed to be so sexy and kind of macho and coooool, you guys know. So I go to the bathroom and when I came out they were playing a song that I knew and liked so I walked slowly just so I could listen some and sort of dance my way out(back to the lame room). Apparently I hadn't heard this version of the song, it must be the version that's not allowed on the radio. I took a deep breathe, put my hands on my hips, and said outloud,"This song is DIRTY!!!! I can't believe my ears." I was looking at the girls and thinking, "How can you be dancing to this? These lyrics are degrading!" I almost forgot where I was. And then I snapped out of it because I remembered listening to worse lyrics and rolling my eyes at my mom when she said the same thing. Good thing no one was there to see. I put my hands down and joined the rest of my group so I could watch them all make fools of themselves to the tune of The GoGos. (Remember I said I took pictures? I want to post them so bad but I'm using them for blackmail. The price of me not posting them are still under negotiation. Need some extra money? Just do what I do: don't drink and bring your camera.)




*He wasn't the only one I had a crush on. Johnny Depp was my first love. And River Phoenix. Since George has boyfriend and River passed away, there might be some hope left for Johnny. But I'm married now so he's just going to have to understand that and get over me already.....