Huh?

Has this ever happened to you? I did not drink at all last night, so why did I wake up with a hangover?

(Don't) Take me out to the ball game

I'm not a huge fan of sporting events. If I go to a game, I usually have a good time but it's not an activity I would seek out if I didn't have a husband who enjoyed them. Last week I was lucky enough to attend a rained out baseball game.

Nice view. Good seats. I was a good sport. Really, I was. The things I do for my husband... really.
We kept thinking the rain would pass over and the sky would clear up. For about 45 minutes it did stop raining but it took them so long to prepare the field, the rain started up again by the time they were finished and ready begin the game.
Whoever bought tickets for the seats under this leak had a wife who, I'm sure was as unhappy as I was just by the look on her face. The announcer said," A bad day at the ballpark is better than a good day at work," and everyone cheered. I looked at the poor woman and we shared a smartass smile because I know we were both thinking,"F- this, I'd rather be at work!" We sat there for about 2 hours before we(I) got sick of it and decided to leave. The game was canceled shortly after we left which just so happened to be the same time as the afternoon traffic rush. Fun. I do love rain though just not baseball. Or ballpark food.

Hacking ruined my night

Last night MrPea and I went to see Pirates3, well I should say we tried to. When we go to the movies, we try to get there early because my tall,long-legged husband is most comfortable near the aisle. My 4'11" self could care less as long as I have extra butter on my salty as hell popcorn and the people behind me don't put their nasty feet on the back of my chair or next to me. On my way to get said popcorn that costs a damn arm and leg, I stopped by the bathroom and I could hear someone in one of the stalls coughing really loud. I thought to myself," I recognize that cough. I had that cough just weeks ago. Sounds like she's got that never ending dry cough when one gets rid of a nasty flu, poor thing.(Then selfishly)Oh, I hope she's not watching the same movie I am...." Sure enough, when I got back with our munchies MrPea whispered to me(in French so as not to hurt her feelings because we're polite like that),"There's someone sick in here, coughing. Do you want to move?" I don't mean a little, "heff, heff" every five minutes, this women was hacking loudly every 5 seconds. By this time the theatre had filled up so unless we wanted to blind ourselves by sitting in the front row, there was really no where else to go. I said,"Maybe she'll stop."

-15 minutes into the movie I thought to myself,"Surely she'll pop a cough drop or something."
-30 minutes: "Wow she's really hacking it up, surely she figure out it's disturbing and excuse herself. She should see a doctor."
45 minutes: "Great. I'm going to catch her disease."
1 hour: "How rude! She has to know how distracting this is. She should really leave! If I hear her cough one more time I'm going to strangle myself. I don't even know what the hell is going on this movie because I can't hear a damn word over her infernal effing coughing!"

We weren't the only ones who were annoyed. I saw more than a few people turn around in the dark to see who it was and heard people whispering things they wish would happen to that woman that I won't repeat here. Finally we looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and just left. I guess most people would have said something or complained to the manager but really what good would it have done? We probably should have just left right away and came back another time or tried to trade our tickets for a later showing but, naively, I always believe the best in people. That really, most people are polite and care about whether or not they are ruining someone else's good time. I truly believed that she would figure out her coughing was disturbing everyone and excuse herself because that's what a polite person would do. That woman had to know that her coughing was ruining the movie for just about everyone in that theatre. Actually she knew and she didn't care otherwise she would not have went to the movies in the first place. I get disgusted by that kind of attitude:"Well I'm having a good time, screw everyone else!" When I'm sick,which, if you've been reading here a while, is often, I quarantine myself because 1.nobody wants my sick germs 2.the coughing and sniffling is gross and rude 3.my grandma taught me good manners dammit!

But anyway.....I got over it.

We went to get some hot wings since it was still a nice night and I didn't really feel like going home yet. I wasn't very hungry so I just ordered some squash and had a couple of MrPea's wings. Big mistake(the squash not the wings) because at 3 in the morning I woke feeling soooo nauseous and crawled to the bathroom to do some hacking of my own.(sorry if I grossed you out) Food poison, my favorite. I even fainted in the hallway as a cherry on top. I'm not sure how long I lay there, wondering if I should curse the restaurant where we ate or the hooping cough disease infested, germ spreading, Johnny Depp movie ruining bitch!(and you know how I feel about Johnny) After a while I felt ok enough to run some water over my face and wet a wash cloth to put over my forehead so that I could go back to sleep. If you're wondering why I didn't call for my husband to come to my aid, it's because he's been through so much, worrying over and nursing all my sicknesses in the past damn year(and lately there has been a worrisome occurrence that may or may not be related to my thyroid cancer that I will post about later that has us a little concerned) I just didn't want him to wake up to his wife passed out and suffering on the floor in the damn hallway. I'm pretty sure one of these things would have happened: him having a complete total nervous breakdown or him freaking out and rushing me unnecessarily to the emergency room. But all is well now. I went back to sleep, not before explaining to him, the light sleeper he is, what happened. I'm feeling better. He didn't get sick so I'm thinking it was the effing squash. So I don't send any curses to anyone. It wouldn't be polite.

:o)

Freedom Rock

I saw my doctor yesterday and I'm taking antibiotics and today I'm feeling a little better.

So as promised here are some pictures of the slutty drunk women who accosted my husband and his friend at the bar Saturday night.




We were looking to see if the band was playing good music. The bar was full of ex-hippies since the band was doing a lot of 'freedom rock'covers. Remember that funny commercial?

I knew something interesting would happen. Plus I like most of that music anyway.

I was the designated driver-again. My husband and his friend C(the blonde guy in the blue shirt) were cracking dirty jokes all night and making fun of the people dancing. One of those two ladies(the one in the tank top) came behind C and hit him in the side of the head and said,"Hey you little shit, we see you guys laughing over here! Show us what you got smartass!" And forced him onto the dance floor. My own husband, shocked and now speechless, stayed still. TankTopLady came back for him too, grabbing him, roughly, I should say, by the wrist.(that's him in the last pic wearing a white shirt) He's not the type that can be forced into dancing when he doesn't feel like it but these women were pretty aggressive so he just walked up there for a few seconds said hello to the other one and went back to where I was laughing my ass off. TankTopLady noticed he was gone and flipped us both the finger-both fingers and then turned around to continue dancing and molesting C with her friend. After the song was over, C came back, sat down and ordered another drink. TankTopLady walked outside to smoke. We were sitting right in front of the window, ok can you guess where this is going? So as she passed by our view she flashed us . C is freaking out, I'm about to pee in my pants laughing-or I should say skirt, MrPea is
saying, "omigawd! what the.." They get up and decide to go the bathroom, I'm guessing to hide from CrazyTankTopLadyWhoJustMolestedThem&FlashedUs. In the bathroom, a guy says to them,"Hey I saw you guys dancing with my wife." Them:"yeah...fun." They weren't exactly sure how her husband was feeling about the 'incident' but apparently he didn't see her because he replied,"Yep she's a handful, you're lucky she didn't show you her boobs."

No gogo boots just yet, just some random thoughts

Just for the sake of randomness, after all, it is Monday.

-I can't seem to find anything in that damn closet of mine, especially photos of my hot mom in gogo boots from the 60s, except my shoes all over the floor.

-We had a run in with a couple of belligerent, yet slutty-in-a-funny-way drunk women on Saturday night. Story to follow when I have more than a few minutes.

-The beach was so foggy in the morning this weekend, I felt like I was having a facial.(picture above)I love it.

-The smoke from the damn fires(Florida is on fire-if you've been seeing it on the news) are driving me ape-crazy. With the wind shift the smoke is now heading the other way but without a decent rainstormm, the smell and soot are still in the air.

-Peanut murdered another lizard, a big one. It was disgusting.

-I'm over being the only girl/designated driver every time we go out. I have to constantly remind all the drunk idiot boys around me to use their inside voice. I'm not anyone's mother hen and I'm not gonna do it anymore.

-Golfers get on my nerves. Ok well not golfers but golf on tv. Poker on tv too since we're on the topic. Who the hell came up with the idea of, "hey let's sit around and watch a bunch of people in bad clothes and jewelry, and 1980s sunglasses play cards!" Someone please explain to me, Why is poker on ESPN? But back to golfers, if I see one more middle aged guy with a fluorescent orange, pink, or lime green shirt on with those stupid logos at the grocery store, I'm gonna have to say something.

-Maybe I'm the belligerent one? I haven't been drinking, it's all natural. Must be the smoke residual.

Juvenile Delinquent

Last Thursday I walked to the library since it only takes 5 minutes and it was so nice outside. I have to pass a grocery store, fire station and several gift shops. There's usually a cop or two parked at a barbecue restaurant because they give 10% off to anyone wearing a uniform. I was wearing jeans,a backpack, had my hair in a pony tail, and was rockin' my ipod, and since I'm only 4'11" in flip flops, a policeman asked me if I shouldn't be at school, sternly I should add. He threw in a "young lady" at the end of his question, I guess, to let me know he meant business. I hate being called young lady, but I started giggling because I saw him before on my walks with Peanut so I thought he was only joking. Turns out, he wasn't. The giggling didn't help. He didn't believe me and even asked for proof that I wasn't skipping school or else he was going to call my parents. I showed him my driver's license and told him that when I was in high school on a sunny day like that, I would never have skipped school to go to the library. He felt bad for being such an ass to me but I didn't really care, I still get carded for lottery tickets so it's nothing new.

Actually it kind of made me feel like a badass to be questioned by the 5-0. Yes, I'm dangerous to society. Watch out. It's thug life for me, all the way. That's the way I roll-gangsta style.

Why can't I pass for some kind of sexy movie star or a model instead of a nerdy 13 year old playing hooky to hang out at the damn library?


*BTW-Peanut seems to be feeling better. His doctor left his surgery wounds open to drain so I feel the need to explain to anyone who walks by,"Please don't think I abuse my dog. He's just had surgery, that's why he has cuts on his little bum. I didn't do that I swear." I'm not sure why I do that since everyone in this neighborhood already knows that he's the most spoiledest(is that a word? it is now) pet on the block. His follow up is on Thursday so I'm keeping my fingers crossed and trying not to think about it.

I turned into my own mom 3 weeks ago

But only for a minute. We went out to a club with some friends. This club had two rooms; a hiphop room and an 80s room. For dancing I always prefer the hiphop room but it's never 'the cool people section.' For some reason, and this is in every club I've ever been in, the 80s room is always 'the cool people section.' So of course, the people we were with wanted to be in there. I love 80s music as I love all kinds of music but I guess because I was a kid during the 80s, it's hard for me to feel like I'm really in 'the cool people section.' This is because it's impossible for me to listen to 80s music without the image of George Micheal bouncing around in those daisy dukes. Don't get me wrong, I adored him. I remember my little 11 year old self sitting in my best friend's living room eating oreos and giggling whenever that song came on MTV.(back when MTV actually played videos, remember? good times) I had such a crush and dammit I'll admit it! My older brother used to tease about it and say,"What the hell is wrong with you? He's not interested in girls, check out those shorts, do you need any more proof than that?"

I thought he was an idiot and that there was no possible reason on Earth that this man wouldn't eventually fall in love with me, but that's another story. Back to the club: I needed to use the bathroom. I'm not the sort of girl that always has to have another girl with me just to go to the bathroom. So I went alone. I had to pass through the hiphop room. I was jealous of all the people in there dancing and having a good time. Because I was stuck in the lame 'cool people section' where no one was really dancing,"Come On Eileen" was blasting, and all the people were drunkstupid(not drunkfun). Hiphop is supposed to be so sexy and kind of macho and coooool, you guys know. So I go to the bathroom and when I came out they were playing a song that I knew and liked so I walked slowly just so I could listen some and sort of dance my way out(back to the lame room). Apparently I hadn't heard this version of the song, it must be the version that's not allowed on the radio. I took a deep breathe, put my hands on my hips, and said outloud,"This song is DIRTY!!!! I can't believe my ears." I was looking at the girls and thinking, "How can you be dancing to this? These lyrics are degrading!" I almost forgot where I was. And then I snapped out of it because I remembered listening to worse lyrics and rolling my eyes at my mom when she said the same thing. Good thing no one was there to see. I put my hands down and joined the rest of my group so I could watch them all make fools of themselves to the tune of The GoGos. (Remember I said I took pictures? I want to post them so bad but I'm using them for blackmail. The price of me not posting them are still under negotiation. Need some extra money? Just do what I do: don't drink and bring your camera.)




*He wasn't the only one I had a crush on. Johnny Depp was my first love. And River Phoenix. Since George has boyfriend and River passed away, there might be some hope left for Johnny. But I'm married now so he's just going to have to understand that and get over me already.....

I can't think of a title-this post has no title

Last night Mr.Pea and I went out with a couple of his single friends from work. We ate a Caribbean restaurant that for some reason was blasting country music. The shrimp was good though and I'm a picky eater. We ended up having a mediocre time at a pretty cool bar. The band that was performing last night was playing that sort of funk-jazz that you have to be, like, supercool to 'get it'. You know what I mean right? You have to wear sunglasses indoors and listen to supersecret artists no one else knows about. None of us 'got it'. It wasn't bad music just ok. I got to hear Mr.Pea scat though-that was a first. (you know,like, when they do that shoo ba doo ba dooooo daadaa thing) I'm pretty sure I heard a meow in there somewhere-good times.

As usual I was the only girl. (I was also the designated driver but not because of my gender.) Being the only girl can have it's benefits but pretty much sucks for the most part. This is because I am not 'one of the boys'. I did go through a tomboy phase but even then it was because my best friend was going through one and that lasted a month at most. All of my girl friends have either moved away or had kids and dumped me. I don't take it personally, I was 13 when my oldest sister had her first son so I know after the babies come, moms don't usually have time for anything else. But I'm not bitchy about being the only girl and I don't pull the queen bee attitude either-I hate that. I like to listen to their 'guy' gossip-I thought high school girls were bad! Nuh ah! I wish I could write all the information I heard but they all know I have a blog so I'll keep it to myself and perhaps blackmail everyone later-I know things dammit.

As usual no one scored a phone number. Maybe next time.