Wednesday, May 30, 2007

My beach

This morning I watched a documentary about pirate treasure myths and after lunch I rode my bike to my secret beach in search of treasure of my own: shark teeth! Actually I was hoping the tide would be low so I would have firm sand to ride on for some needed exercise but it wasn't. I should've checked before I left but I was in such a hurry, I forgot. I wasn't too disappointed when I got to the beach. Why would I when I have all this to myself?
Exercise is overrated anyway.
I call it a secret beach but it's not really a secret, it's just hard to get to since there is no parking and up until 2 years ago the entrances were blocked by some stingy oceanfront home owners. Someone ran for city council and promised to enforce the law that those entrances are for the public so the home owners had to remove the fences and whatever vegetation they purposely put there to block the walk ways so now it's all mine! Only a few people know about these entrances and I hope it stays that way because the last secret beach I used to visit for shark teeth hunting now has a big parking lot and is full of trash and cigarette butts. This is why I sort of don't blame the home owners. It breaks my heart just thinking about it.

I started looking right away and I have to say, I'm the best shark tooth hunter I know. I've found shark teeth in some of the most picked over beaches. There are a couple places where it's actually impossible for me to leave without finding any. I won't say I don't have a method because I do(which I will keep secret dammit!) but it's 75% luck and good eyesight. There were only a few people there and every time someone passed close to me I would I would pretend to just be looking for shells lest they figure out just how many shark teeth(and bones) there are on that beach(or my secret method of finding them) and tell all their damn friends and cousins. I don't want the whole damn town coming over here pillaging my hunting grounds.

I was doing pretty good. Look at all these, a couple of them are pretty sharp.

Then I saw something shining next to my big toe and found this one!!! It's the biggest one I've ever found. I was so happy I started dancing!

The funny thing is, as soon as I picked it up I looked towards the water wondering if whoever's mouth this tooth once lived in was there ready to pounce on me. I know that shark is likely long passed away(otherwise the tooth wouldn't be gray and black) but still, looking at this tooth I imagined what a jaw full of these teeth would feel like and almost felt like throwing it back. But how could I? I sat there for a long time staring at it.

After a while I took a break to lay down and watch an osprey(probably my favorite bird) hunt fish. He did end up catching one, a pretty big one. But I was too slow with my camera to get a good shot of him flying home with it.

I also waited around to see if the resident of this crab hole would come out and say hi but no luck.

Ever since I got home I keep going into the kitchen where I put that bigmomma tooth to hold it, look at it, and hover over it like Gollum! Myyy Precioussss!

*Update: Oh man! I just found out this tooth is from an extinct Tiger shark!!!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Cat Who Begs for Everything

I'm pretty sure this cat might be Peanut's cousin.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

My cousin sent me this

Thanks M!

Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
With my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much
older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it
with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the
meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday
I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
report card, that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

Friday, May 25, 2007

8 Things

I sometimes pretend like I missed a meme when I'm too lazy to participate but Chani tagged me and this looked easy. So here are 8 things about moi that you might not know.

1. I hate to cook but I'm really good at it. I make really good lumpia(Filipino egg rolls) and brown sugar pie with crust from scratch. I can only make a few things but the things I can make are excellent if I say so myself.

2. Speaking of food, I'm a picky eater, I'm sure I've already mentioned that before. But I really hate fancy food- I mean food that's pretty and artistically arranged but you almost don't know how to eat it. I like simple food, not 'mixed up things', it's hard to explain. If you're picky and you're reading this, you know what I mean right?

3. I didn't learn how to drive until I was 24. This is a long, complicated story that would take forever to make anyone understand and there are too many people who read this blog who might get their feelings hurt(not that I blame anyone). I also failed my driving test twice before I was able to get my license. AND there are certain people I can't drive with because they make me nervous.

4. I sometimes record Jerry Springer. Not because I enjoy watching it. I enjoy watching my husband watching it. The combination of shock, disgust, and amusement on his face is priceless.

5. I hate casinos and gambling. I don't like the noise and the fact that it's a major rip off turns me off as well. I spent a weekend in Vegas once and the things I enjoyed most were the desert heat and the food.

6. I've never been camping. Maybe someday....I doubt it though.

7. I love science and nature shows. My siblings used to make fun of me and call me nerdy and stuff like that so I used to hide in my parents' room to watch Mr. Wizard's World and Nature. I still do and even after the all the teasing, they like them too. I recently checked out a dvd set called The Life of Mammals from the library and I love it even more than the Planet Earth series that were on the Discovery Channel the past couple months.

8. I hate phones. I hate cell phones. Despite that, I spend a lot of time on the phone because I'm too polite to say so when people call me and want to chat. I don't understand the concept of being on the phone just for the sake of, well, being on the phone.

So here's my 8 things. Kinda lame, I know but I'm feeling a little uninspired lately. Everyone's tagged, if you want to be. If not, that's ok too.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

CreepyManAtThePool-make yourself comfy, this is long. BUT if you skip it because of how long it is, it won't hurt my feelings I promise

Today I worked out in the neighborhood fitness room for the first time since CreepyManAtThePool scared me. If you've known me for awhile or read the post I wrote about all the things that scare me, you'd be really proud of me because it took a lot for me to go there by myself again. The fitness room is next to the pool and nothing scary happened to me in there but it's a small room attached to the condo office with only one entrance and even though it's full of windows, no one can see in or out because of all the bushes. I've never been attacked before but somehow, in too many moments of my life I've found myself in strange or dangerous situations that have led me to believe that 75% of people around me are psych ward escapees. Well, ok , maybe 80%.
I rode my bike a couple miles yesterday just because I was feeling too wimpy to go to the fitness room, lest I run into CreepyMan again and even then, I pedalled really fast going past the woody area just in case CreepyMan has some ilk hanging around in the trees! It sounds so irrational I know it, but somehow I attract all the people in the world who have strange behavioral problems. I make fun of it now but I'm not sure I'll ever get over my fears of strange men.
I can(and eventually I will in this blog) tell about all the weird scary people who have tried to make friends with me but today I just want to talk about CreepyManAtThePool. I still remember being a little kid when poor Adam Walsh was abducted and it was all over the news. I remember after that, every year, there were always school discussions about keeping yourself safe and listening to your intuition and it really affected me. Maybe that's why I'm scared of my own shadow but at the same time, I'm glad I was taught how to protect myself. I hope they still talk to children about this today when they need it even more.
But anyway, back to CreepyMan. It was about 6:30ish pm and I wanted to exercise in the pool. It was last August and the sun was still up so I felt ok by myself. When I arrived there was a 30something man swimming laps and I went into the shallow end to power walk. Another older man probably in his 50s came into the pool area and was sort of walking back and forth from the hot tub to the pool but not getting in either. I know now that he was waiting for the guy swimming laps to leave. The only way I can describe the way he was acting was, he was lurking. When the guy swimming laps got out of the pool and left, I remember thinking to myself that maybe I should go too because I was already feeling uncomfortable by the way CreepyMan was acting. But I thought to myself, Oh you're just being paranoid again, so I finished my work out. When I was ready to leave, I had to swim to the other end of the pool because that's where my towel and the exit were. I even remember being under water and already having a feeling that Creepy was going to say something to me as soon as I popped up. When I did pop my head up, he was standing over me and asked me if I had a cell phone-(ok I know this sounds like a general question but it could also be something he wanted to know in case he had plans that didn't involve me calling for help). I didn't. For a split second,inside I panicked, but then I just pretended like I didn't know if I had one or not because: 1. I didn't want him to know I didn't have a cell phone with me and 2. I wanted to get to my towel and keys because they were close to the exit. When I got out of the pool he stood in such a way as to block my exit but I had enough room to walk over to my things and quickly put on my towel. I have to add that he was very tall and not muscly but big. I still remember thinking that if he tried to grab me I would be able to out swim him in the pool but if he was blocking my way out,there's no way I could fight him away unless I could somehow jump over the gate into the alligator infested lake(!) to get away from him. This is all that was going on in my head-how to get out. So I continued to pretend like I was looking for my phone at the same time, inch by inch, trying to walk around him to the exit. He kept saying,"I really need a phone, there's an emergency at my work." I picked out my keys, the only thing I could think of to possibly use if I had to and finally said, "oh looks like I didn't bring it with me," and ran to the gate to leave. I know you're not supposed to go straight home but I was so afraid, that was all I wanted to do.
I could have easily been misinterpreting the situation because if someone was to say to me, "A guy at the pool asked to borrow my cell phone," I wouldn't think anything of it. But the way everything happened and the fact that I have a good intuition for people convinces me that I was right to feel the way I did. Plus the pool is less than a two minute walk away from any building in the development(and only people who live here are allowed to use the pool) so if he really did need a phone that badly, he could very easily just walk home for one(if he lived here) so why ask me? And why not ask the guy that was there earlier swimming laps?
I told a couple of my neighbors what happened and they both told me that on separate occasions some strange guy had 'accidentally' dropped his shorts in front of them. None of us have seen him again, but that's why I'm scared to go to the pool by myself or to the fitness room. Maybe I am just overly paranoid but still, I'd rather be safe.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Random again

-I went to my OB/GYN yesterday. One of the patients cussed everyone out because she was there for 45 minutes. She asked if there was anyone in the office that she could bill for her time since they would be billing her insurance company for their time. She was heavily pregnant so everyone was being so annoyingly patronizing to her. I thought she had a point, why the hell do they make appointments and then make you wait 10 years in the waiting room with 50 year old magazines and a TV tuned to the 24hour Matlock station? I only had to wait 5 minutes so I thought best to keep my mouth shut.

-And since I'm on the topic, my OB/GYN moved into a new office. It's really nice. I can tell that they really wanted to create a spa-like environment with the sea-tone colors, soft robes, all the way down to the aroma therapy. I appreciate the effort and I consider myself privileged to have a nice surrounding for such an uncomfortable activity. But there's no way in hell, a green jewel-toned robe, some shell decorations and the scent of plumeria is going to make me forget that I'm naked from the waist down and someone I barely know is poking around down there, sorry!

-It's a conspiracy against me I know it. Dairy Queen purposely invented the Oreo Cookie Blizzard to ruin my life. They will not stop until cellulite takes over my thighs and my belly looks like I'm due to give birth to full grown triplets. They are scheming against me with their perfect combination of cookie and ice cream. Scheming, damn them.

-Today is the last day of my self-imposed sick quarantine. I'm glad to be feeling back to myself again. Tomorrow I can go back to working out.

-It's been 3 weeks since my last cup of coffee. I don't like being addicted to anything. I don't like the feeling of needing something and that's why I quit. Plus it feels gross to drink hot drinks in the summer anyway.

-Peanut makes the best face when he's in 'crazy mode', that state of mind he gets in when he starts running back and forth down the hall, high jumping onto the bed. I've never seen the same joy on anyone else's face that I know. At what age to people lose that ability, to really experience explosions of happiness over something as simple as jumping?

-I would much rather be a back up singer than a lead. Most people want to be the star. But I'd much prefer to be the hot chick with a tambourine in a slutty outfit and some hooker boots singing "ooh la" and, "yeah yeah" than having all the pressure of being the one everything is riding on. Nobody blames the back up singer when the show sucks. But since I can't really sing, it doesn't really matter.

Friday, May 18, 2007

You say Homophobic -I say Homeopathic

One of my best friends happens to be just a couple years younger than my mom so we sort of have a mother-daughter relationship. Only we freely talk about sex. And drugs. We do stay away from politics, though. I forgot to tell her that I was taking antibiotics on the phone today. She was concerned about my sore throat and said I should try gargling with a mixture of peroxide and water. "It sounds weird but it works, I think it's one of those homophobic treatments," she said to me. I said,"huh?" She said,"You know, homophobic. Like what they do if you were living in the country somewhere and the doctor was too far away. Or in a country where a doctor isn't available." I said,"Do what in the country?"(I was playing with her at this point) She said,"Homophobic things!" I said,"I don't know D, I don't really want to do homophobic things. Frankly, I don't like homophobic sort of people." She said,"Honey, you have to expand your horizons. You have try new things. It's been around before modern medicine I think. " Finally I said,"Oh you mean Homeopathic or homophobic?" I wish I had been there to see her face. I can't wait to go a health food store with her so I can ask the salespeople for all the homophobic treatments.

BTW-has anyone ever heard of that? The peroxide thing? It sounds scary.

AND I should note that I don't have any knowledge about Homeopathy. Or homophobes since we're on the topic.

Freedom Rock

I saw my doctor yesterday and I'm taking antibiotics and today I'm feeling a little better.

So as promised here are some pictures of the slutty drunk women who accosted my husband and his friend at the bar Saturday night.

We were looking to see if the band was playing good music. The bar was full of ex-hippies since the band was doing a lot of 'freedom rock'covers. Remember that funny commercial?

I knew something interesting would happen. Plus I like most of that music anyway.

I was the designated driver-again. My husband and his friend C(the blonde guy in the blue shirt) were cracking dirty jokes all night and making fun of the people dancing. One of those two ladies(the one in the tank top) came behind C and hit him in the side of the head and said,"Hey you little shit, we see you guys laughing over here! Show us what you got smartass!" And forced him onto the dance floor. My own husband, shocked and now speechless, stayed still. TankTopLady came back for him too, grabbing him, roughly, I should say, by the wrist.(that's him in the last pic wearing a white shirt) He's not the type that can be forced into dancing when he doesn't feel like it but these women were pretty aggressive so he just walked up there for a few seconds said hello to the other one and went back to where I was laughing my ass off. TankTopLady noticed he was gone and flipped us both the finger-both fingers and then turned around to continue dancing and molesting C with her friend. After the song was over, C came back, sat down and ordered another drink. TankTopLady walked outside to smoke. We were sitting right in front of the window, ok can you guess where this is going? So as she passed by our view she flashed us . C is freaking out, I'm about to pee in my pants laughing-or I should say skirt, MrPea is
saying, "omigawd! what the.." They get up and decide to go the bathroom, I'm guessing to hide from CrazyTankTopLadyWhoJustMolestedThem&FlashedUs. In the bathroom, a guy says to them,"Hey I saw you guys dancing with my wife." Them:"" They weren't exactly sure how her husband was feeling about the 'incident' but apparently he didn't see her because he replied,"Yep she's a handful, you're lucky she didn't show you her boobs."

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Sick again dammit

A painful sore throat, cough and body ache--yep I've got the damn FLU. Again. It started yesterday and I'm trying really hard not to be mad. It's not like there's anything I can do about it. dammit

So I'll try not to be slow with my blog visits but I'll do my best. I'll post tomorow about those drunk women.


Monday, May 14, 2007

No gogo boots just yet, just some random thoughts

Just for the sake of randomness, after all, it is Monday.

-I can't seem to find anything in that damn closet of mine, especially photos of my hot mom in gogo boots from the 60s, except my shoes all over the floor.

-We had a run in with a couple of belligerent, yet slutty-in-a-funny-way drunk women on Saturday night. Story to follow when I have more than a few minutes.

-The beach was so foggy in the morning this weekend, I felt like I was having a facial.(picture above)I love it.

-The smoke from the damn fires(Florida is on fire-if you've been seeing it on the news) are driving me ape-crazy. With the wind shift the smoke is now heading the other way but without a decent rainstormm, the smell and soot are still in the air.

-Peanut murdered another lizard, a big one. It was disgusting.

-I'm over being the only girl/designated driver every time we go out. I have to constantly remind all the drunk idiot boys around me to use their inside voice. I'm not anyone's mother hen and I'm not gonna do it anymore.

-Golfers get on my nerves. Ok well not golfers but golf on tv. Poker on tv too since we're on the topic. Who the hell came up with the idea of, "hey let's sit around and watch a bunch of people in bad clothes and jewelry, and 1980s sunglasses play cards!" Someone please explain to me, Why is poker on ESPN? But back to golfers, if I see one more middle aged guy with a fluorescent orange, pink, or lime green shirt on with those stupid logos at the grocery store, I'm gonna have to say something.

-Maybe I'm the belligerent one? I haven't been drinking, it's all natural. Must be the smoke residual.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day Everyone!

I've been looking for some 'babe' pictures of my mom in gogo boots taken before I was born somewhere in my picture box. I'm dying to post them if I can find them.

Friday, May 11, 2007

It's not easy being green, well actually it is for some

Here's one lizard who knows what to do when Peanut comes around: Stay still and turn yourself green.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

The Birds

Every night, between 6 and 7, Mr.Pea and I hear a ruckus in the tree branches and creep out onto the balcony as quietly as we can. If you happened to be eavesdropping and you didn't see what we were talking about, you would probably think we sounded like stalkers or some kind of creepynosy couple because our conversation goes like this--in whispers:

"I see him! I see him!"

"Look! Look! He's here!"

"He's waiting for them, where do you think they are?"

"Let's be quiet and see what he does!"

"Over there, on the roof. He's on that branch now."

"Oh, he's calling them now! yay!"

"Put Peanut inside, or else he's going to hear us and know we're out here. He doesn't like it, he's scared of us."

"Ooh they're here! They're here! Look so happy!"

"Shhh! Do you want them to hear you?!"

"I think it's a boy, I'm not sure. The girl is the big brown one."

"They're feeding each other! Ew is that a bug???"

"Shush now! They're going to know we're watching! Be quiet."

"There they go, I hope they come back tomorrow."

We have been charmed by 3 cardinals who 'meet up' every evening in our tree, then fly back and forth to the bushes, feeding the smallest one and each other. It happens the same way. The male, who is the only one I've been able to get a picture of(from afar), arrives. He begins calling, really loud, I should add. This goes on for about 20 minutes before the other two arrive. I'm guessing this is his mate and little one. I've tried to take pictures of mother and baby but I don't think they like the sound of my camera since they fly away the second I bring it out so I don't try anymore. I'm not a hundred percent sure but I think the baby is a male because although most of his chubby body is brown, the tips of his wings and his cheeks are beginning to turn that beautiful crimson. The fact that he' s fat, makes me giggle. Two days ago, I saw that little one catch a beetle in flight(all by himself) just inches from my eyes, as we were checking the mail. Mr. Pea and I looked at each other with pride, as if we were the ones who taught him how to do it. I don' t know why we love them so much, we've been watching them all Spring and I guess we feel like they are part of our little family now.

*The pictures are fuzzy because of the screen.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Tuesday Confession

Today Peanut decided to pee on some people's pansies. I usually stop him from peeing on pretty flowers but today I was too lazy to bother. I feel kind of bad about it but Peanut's happy.

Monday, May 07, 2007


Look very closely at what is lying dead on the bed. Someone is trying to play innocent.

Just look at the following pictures and take a wild guess who won the war between Peanut and his archenemy- who used to live, peacefully, I should add, on the patio.

Remember this guy? Can you see two legs hanging out of some one's mouth? What happened to the tail? We'll never know.

It happens every time. He carries it in his mouth, he throws it in the air, rolls on top of it, and let's it go just to catch it again. Then he doesn't understand that it's dead and cries.

Dumb lizard-I tried to protect him. I try to chase him away with the broom. He didn't run away and now he fell victim to Peanut's wrath. Still I'm gonna miss the little guy.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Good Help Is So Hard To Find

Mr.Pea has really been doing a good job helping me out around the house lately.
When I came in from checking the mail yesterday he said,"don't worry about the sheets and the rest of the laundry, I put everything away for you." I remember thinking,"he folded all that stuff so fast!" Last night when I went into the closet to get some clean sheets, this is what greeted me.

Martha Stewart would have a stroke. I don't feel like folding either so I just say thanks.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Conversation this morning with my friend

Me: Is everything ok?

Her: Yeah.

Me: Well I've been worried about you.

Her: Really? Why?

Me: Are you drinking again?

Her: No. Am I acting weird?

Me: No, just a feeling I had. If you are, you can tell me. It's not like I'm going to yell at you or something. I just want to know, so I know what to expect.

Her: I'm not, honest. I would tell you.

I think it's a lie. I'm not even going 'there' anymore because I'm having some health problems myself and the anxiety just makes it worse....still though.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Pretty Depressing S***

I'm not used to being this serious on my blog but I have such a feeling of dread. Truly, I have no real reason other than my intuition but I am pretty sure one of my oldest and dearest friends has fallen off the wagon.(again) I've nursed her through 3 of her drinking binges in the past year and a half. I was there cleaning, wiping tears, changing blankets, even just sitting in silence while she slept until the day she went to rehab.(again) I was the first to visit on the day she came home. Even then, I had a feeling that it was too early, that she still wasn't ready. I told myself I was still haunted by the sight of her the day I walked into her unlocked door and found her on the floor with Lord knows what all over her clothes.(again) When just the night before I left her in clean clothes and good spirits(no pun intended) not getting in my car until I heard the click of her locking the door and the light turned off. I remember calling one of those AA help lines and started screaming at the girl on the line who told me I was an enabler. She was probably right. I don't understand alcoholism. I saw terror in my friend's eyes who up until then I thought was afraid of NOTHING. I'm the one with all the fears and phobias-her?she can snap a monster in half! It was like the real her was trapped and she couldn't get out. This is someone who has so many good things in her life. Loved ones,a home, money, beauty, boyfriends, this woman has everything. She went off to rehab a week before I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I couldn't help feeling just a little selfish resentment because if not for her f-ing drinking she would have been there with me, cleaning, wiping tears, changing blankets, sitting in silence while I slept and helping me do all the girly things my husband's chromosome blocks him from knowing about.
I was so proud of her singing at church this Easter. I hadn't been to church since last year and that was the only reason I wanted to go. She looked so happy up there. Why does she keep sabotaging her own life? I keep going over and over in my head if I should just come out and ask her, "Have you started drinking again?" And if the answer is yes, I don't have the health nor the emotional stability I had last time to 'do' this. She told me before that it's her responsibility and not to disrupt my own life if anything like that were to ever happen again. That is a hell of a thing to tell someone whose seen you with a black eye and bruised ribs and nobody knows where it came from. I'm probably worrying for nothing, but it was this same awful feeling I had right before each time it happened. I hope I'm just worrying for nothing and I already know that if I'm right that I will have to detach and let someone else take care of it for the sake of my own health. This is what it's like to care about someone you know you can't help.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Greed Can Really Ruin a Relationship

Just ask these two if material possesions are worth fighting for. Can't we all just get along?

Answers to yesterday's True or False

No Tuesday confession today. One of my truths is shocking enough anyway.

1. I once dated a pro-athlete. I saw on the news three months after we stopped seeing each other that his wife had filed for divorce. It is the shame of my life that I dated someone who I knew was married. *FALSE-I've never dated a married man or a pro-athlete, dammit I'm not a homewrecker!

2. When I was in high school, I met the president and got in trouble for trying to pinch him on the bum. It was fun and totally worth it. I think he secretly enjoyed it and if you knew which one I was talking about(do the math I'm 30), you would think so too.*TRUE- This was a trick because I bet you're thinking it was Bill Clinton. Nope. It was Bush, our current ass-I mean president's father just before he lost the election to Clinton. I still think he secretly enjoyed it...

3. I accidentally exposed my 80something year old mother-in-law to internet porn. I thought it was a website about the village in France where her family was from. Her reaction was,"Oh thanks, Angel, it was really pretty," before I figured out the mistake.*Unfortunately this is TRUE-I memorised a web address for the town of La Rochelle in France,typed it in wrong and ended up in a dirty porno website about a pretty girl named Rochelle. My MIL is not uptight about that kind of stuff and teased me about it for weeks.

4. I've been to the Bahamas more times than I can count. I have some friends who live there, so I can pretty much go whenever I want to. My husband and I are planning to live there when he retires(in 15-20 years). We dream about it together at least 50 times a week.*FALSE-One would think since I live so close I would go there all the time but I've never been there.

5. I once got caught shoplifting. I was 13 and I stole makeup at Kmart. My parents threatened to send me to live with my grandparents if I did it again. To this day I don't even shop at Kmart because I'm still embarrassed.*FALSE- When I was 4 a girl my mom was babysitting got caught stealing gum and the store employees were so mean to my mom, I'm too scared to even think about trying to steal..

6. I lived in New Orleans during Mardi Gras and never went. I was too lazy and frankly not interested in seeing people make complete fools of themselves. I sort of regret it now. I would've enjoyed making a fool of myself in the French Quarter.*TRUE- I'm the only one I know who's been there and didn't go. I don't regret it that much.

7. I kept a toad as a pet when I was 8. I named him Baby. He wasn't allowed in the house so he lived in a bucket on my patio. He escaped and I cried for 2 days. Looking back, I'm happy for him now.*TRUE-I love my pets what can I say. I don't even try to touch toads or frogs, or anything with bumps today.

8. The Bachelor is my favorite reality show. I consider myself a feminist, but dammit I can't help it. I like to laugh at people being pathetic and desperate no matter what sex they are, no apologies!*False- Don't have anything against that show really, just not my cup of tea.

Des told me I have to link to her so she can be first in a google search. So if you love me and you love Des then you have to do it too. All the cool people are linking to Des, don't you want to be cooool?