Friday, May 18, 2007

You say Homophobic -I say Homeopathic

One of my best friends happens to be just a couple years younger than my mom so we sort of have a mother-daughter relationship. Only we freely talk about sex. And drugs. We do stay away from politics, though. I forgot to tell her that I was taking antibiotics on the phone today. She was concerned about my sore throat and said I should try gargling with a mixture of peroxide and water. "It sounds weird but it works, I think it's one of those homophobic treatments," she said to me. I said,"huh?" She said,"You know, homophobic. Like what they do if you were living in the country somewhere and the doctor was too far away. Or in a country where a doctor isn't available." I said,"Do what in the country?"(I was playing with her at this point) She said,"Homophobic things!" I said,"I don't know D, I don't really want to do homophobic things. Frankly, I don't like homophobic sort of people." She said,"Honey, you have to expand your horizons. You have try new things. It's been around before modern medicine I think. " Finally I said,"Oh you mean Homeopathic or homophobic?" I wish I had been there to see her face. I can't wait to go a health food store with her so I can ask the salespeople for all the homophobic treatments.

BTW-has anyone ever heard of that? The peroxide thing? It sounds scary.

AND I should note that I don't have any knowledge about Homeopathy. Or homophobes since we're on the topic.

14 comments:

Marymurtz said...

This post made me laugh so hard I had to post about it on my blog, where I also outed my friend S. for once thinking Lederhosen were a type of Christmas cookie.

Courtney said...

I almost spit beer on my keyboard! That reminds me of the girl I knew who kept saying 'masturbate,' when she meant 'masticate' (chewing). She got ribbed for a long time for that! ;)

flutter said...

Yeah, the peroxide thing is way homophobic. But it works!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I wouldn't take medical advice from a person who speaks English but not too many.

MsLittlePea said...

This also reminds me of any Biology class I ever took. There was always that one person who would accidently say orgasm instead of organism.

thailandchani said...

That is too funny! I've never heard of the peroxide mixture and it doesn't sound very safe. I'd stick to tea with honey in it. LOL

But then I'm not authority on homophobic medicine.


Peace,

~Chani

Laurie said...

You crack me up girl. And I concur, I'm not a fan of homophobic people either.

By the way, please eat a lot of yogurt for awhile after you finish your antibiotics. It will replentish the good bacteria in your intestines that has been killed off by the antibiotics. I like activia best. :-)

I've not heard of gargling with peroxide/water, but warm salt water was what my mom used and it really did seem to help.

*hugs*
Laurie

Jay said...

My mother always pushed the salt water on me too, which is gross, and I'm not sure I ever noticed a difference. I think a lot of "homophobic" medicine is just seeing what crazy things you can get people to do.

Hel said...

I spend the whole of yesterday and today trying to remember someone anyone who said something as funny as your homophobic friend.

But alas my memory is refusing to copulate

Courtney said...

Oh by the way, when I would get Strep my doctor would tell me to use a particular mouthwash that had peroxide in it.

Marymurtz said...

Oh man, I do believe that is the first outright joke I've read Hel make. Rock on sister!!! LOL!

anne said...

(commenting belatedly)

That is one hilarious story! I don't think I could've kept a straight face/voice in that conversation. Thank you for the smile!

I have heard of the peroxide thing, but I don't know much about it. Two things I *do* know - do not swallow it. We used to use (and many probably still do) hydrogen peroxide to make dogs vomit when they'd eaten something they shouldn't have. I would guess the same to be true for humans. Also, peroxide can hinder healing if applied to a wound. So... that's all I've got for you!

I hope you're feeling better.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I suppose a person could be a homeopathic homophobic. Or is that an oxymoron?

Magpie said...

Funny.
The joke at my college was that no matter what you went to the health service for, they sent you home with a packet of salt and baking soda to gargle with. Cured all ills.