Wednesday, February 28, 2007

This picture has nothing to do with this post

But I like it. Doesn't she have great legs? Actually maybe there is a relation to my topic.

I learned a valuable lesson this morning. I thought I should share it in case this happens to anyone else. It is this: It's probably not a good idea to prance around all day in pink high-heels the day after you fall on your ass down the stairs. That makes your injured leg very angry. You may think that pink high-heel sandals look better than comfy, old, brown, raggedy flip-flops with your outfit but just don't do it. You will wake up the next day and your injured leg muscles will feel like they are on fire every time you move. You'll have to walk up and down the very stairs you fell on using only the other leg, crying with every step while everyone in your neighborhood will see you on their way out the door and think you're an idiot who can't even climb stairs properly. You'll have to walk your dog that way-gimping all over the place. So instead of having a perfectly good leg that healed quickly because you were smart and wore comfortable shoes, you'll have a leg that doesn't work, feels worse, and is angry at you for choosing fashion over comfort. Then you will have a pity party for yourself on your blog only no one will feel sorry for you because they are tired of hearing about your damn leg. And all the giddiness you feel about your new haircut and color will fly out the window.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall....

I fell down the stairs yesterday. Don't feel sorry for me though, it sounds more dramatic that it actually was. I didn't roll while making that helpless face and stay in a coma for weeks only to wake up and find my husband married to my cousin's housekeeper like they do on soap operas. Basically I slipped and fell on my behind while walking down the stairs. So I didn't really hurt myself except I did bruise my elbow when I hit it on the rail trying to grab something. And I have crampy, sore legs. So I guess you can feel sorry for me if you want to for a few minutes. It's not going to cancel out my hair appointment, that's for sure.

*Humpty Dumpty in no way refers to feelings about my weight-just my fall. I don't want to be one of those annoying,"I feel fat" skinny people who weigh less than a potato chip.....I can't stand that.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

The Beach, Varmints and the like

Can you spot one in this tree? 50 points if you can :o)

This is my favorite time of year! Yes, just last week I was warming my footsies by the fire and today the windows are open for maximum bird singing volume. It happens just like that, overnight and Spring is banging down the door! March truly comes in like a lion 'round these parts and this year, she's early. The breeze is loud and fresh from the sea, just a stone's throw away and the smell of jasmine fills my home(I buy Claratin in bulk). Azaleas bloom in their gaudiest fuchsia attire.
I listen every night for the frog, toad and crickets choir but it's still too early and not quite hot enough. I've spotted two bald eagles already in the past couple weeks and there are ospreys constantly flying overheard clutching fish. And dammit, I never have the luck to have my new camera handy when this happens! I'm going to have to start keeping it in my pocket all the time.
I have some huge feathers I found last year and I haven't figured out a good art project to include them in(suggestions welcomed). They are all over the place. I have yet to encounter the juvenile alligator, who, I saw last year, all summer lounging near the pool, no joke! There's a lake near the pool which separates my neighborhood from a shishifoo golf course and Mr.Alligator sunned himself on that side, the mossy bank closest to the pool, probably trying to get a view of all the bikini action. I have a feeling he might have been relocated. He was pretty small but large enough to scare the sugar out of me. Strangely, I'll miss seeing him.
I wish I had a bird feeder. This is the first place I've ever lived where it was impossible to put one out. I want to get a window feeder, if I can remember next time I'm at the hardware store. I have a sort of awe for cardinals. My Grandmother loved them so much and I can't see or hear one with out thinking of her. I am the worst person on Earth in the morning so my long morning walks with Peanut are the best way to start a day. The little birds around here make 'electronic' sounding songs. The squirrels ignore us as they bounce about, digging here and there. Peanut wants to eat them. Actually there's one who lives near the pool that has learned how beg and steal food-that's him up there. I made friends with him last Spring. Snakes are all over the place too(eek). Sometimes I think they exist just to freak me out and get in fights with Peanut. I found a mini turtle last year by the lake who was stuck in some tall grass. Right after I took this picture he stuck his little head out and tried to bite me. I forgave him for not wanting to be my friend and put him down close to the water where I think he was trying to go.
There's a secret beach I can't wait to ride my bike to where there are shark teeth galore. Sharks! Their eggs wash up onto the shore so I'm scared to death of swimming there. MrPea isn't.
He surfs there too. Usually, I just have a picnic or a book when I go by myself.
The birds of prey don't even bother to fly away with their catch, they land right there on the shore and dig in, I love it. I'm still not officially allowed to ride my bike for just a couple more weeks(the damn anemia dammit!) but I can't wait because I don't want to miss the dolphins. I can see them all year long here but in April and May they migrate back to the north. You can see hundreds upon hundreds of them and you can see from the size of the fins, the babies!!! I heard my brother, who is I swear, MrCaptainSwimTeam, once say you can hear them if you swim out far enough. I'm not a good enough swimmer, plus I'm scared to death of sharks so I'll take his word for it.
I LOVE the hot, humid summer and flipflops and summer dresses and loud, angry, afternoon thunderstorms but this is my favorite, happiest time of year....sick or not! I intend not to waste a millisecond of it and enjoy it.

*I've been reading CrossCreek again, for the millionth gazillionth time can you tell? Most of these pictures were taken last year with my cell phone and I can't wait to take some good ones with my new camera. Keep your fingers crossed for me so I can get on my bike and ride to the secret beach again! When summer is here I'll be bragging about how summer is my favorite. I do that every season.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Procrastinatin' and Slackin' Off

As I mentioned yesterday, my house needs some help. This is supposed to be my own nook for me to paint and create priceless masterpieces. So far it's just a pile of crap that gets in the way of Peanut's sunbathing. It's actually a really nice area that I had to bully my husband into letting me have. He thought we should put the computer desk there-I disagreed. I said I needed the lighting and view for my inspiration. I have an easel I stored in my parents' attic while I was in Canada and I keep telling myself,"I'll go get it this weekend." Do you see an easel here? I will go get it....I will go get promise.
I also keep telling myself," I'll get to organizing so I can start painting again today." But, see, the problem is the computer is in the same room. I come in here with the full intention of getting it together. But it beckons to me, it says in it's little voice,""Angel!Angel!Check your email, don't forget your blog,you should read all the interesting things everyone in your cool people section wrote while you were out,check out these shoes you should buy, read the news, there's some really cool viddys on youtube and by the way isn't there a song you wanted for your ipod ???Comeeeer hunneeee, just for a minute....I missed you....yay together you and la la la luvyou"
I ended up spending this afternoon downloading a bunch of disco songs (hot-hot-hot-hot-stuuuuff plus she's a superfreak-superfeak-she's superfreakay-- yow!) and making up playlists for all my activities(disco is for my work outs). I will get to it! I will-I always do, but right now, I'm thinking I need some more reggae for my ipod because summer is coming........yeah!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

salt and pepper shakers and all that stuff

I think I should go back to college. Then at least I can have an excuse for living in a college kid's apartment.

I used to be a little enthusiastic about home decorating-HA! The dot-com boom/burn sucked that right out of me. We moved about 9 times in 6 years for my husband's job during the boom(or what we like to refer to as the Golden Age). And 4 times when it was over. It was fun for about 5 minutes. Now, I'm afraid of boxes and just the word relocate can put me into the crazy lane. Now that we're sort of(hopefully-knock on wood) feeling stable I'm beginning to realize how sparse it is around here. I have a hard time "making pretty" for a home I know I'm going to live in for a year at most. Come to think of it, we've been in this home for a little over a year now and that's the longest we've ever lived in the same place since we met. I've tried to keep our 'things' to a minimum and every time we move, we get rid of tons of stuff. So at 30, I'm looking at my home and it's like looking at a college student's apartment. All the 'stuff' that normal people have won't be found in this house. The most grown up thing I have in my home is the damn coffee maker. And I'm trying to have a home that looks like grown ups live in and I sort of don't know where to begin. I don't even have any salt and pepper shakers because the nice ones I had were lost during the last move and I hate to just buy something I don't really like all that much just because I don't have them(there's a run on sentence for ya). I go to the store and I hate everything-I think I might be looking for something that doesn't exist. I just last month bought some kitchen towels and (gasp) an actual comforter and set of blankets that won't exfoliate me to death. Is it hard to believe in the 10 years(almost) I've been married I'm just now getting domestic? It is for me because I used to be so good at all that. Now, I think about hanging up curtains and candle sconces and I want to gag.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Best Comeback Ever

When I was 5, Neenee and I made up a really good comeback to say when someone has said something mean or idiotic. I , personally, have never had the chance to use it on anyone other than my sis or my husband but I look forward to using it one of these precious days. I've decided to share it with the world for the sake of everyone out there who's been insulted, then got mad at themself because they thought of something good to say after the fact. Feel free to use it-it is my gift. If Person A says something rude like, you look like crap today, Person B's response is:

Don't act wise, Bubble-eyes! Cut you down to Peanut-size!

*This has nothing to do with my dog, Peanut, whom, I didn't know then and everyone knows the high esteem in which I hold him.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

House Rules

House members who enjoy rolling and rubbing themselves on the dead bodies of squirrels are required to bathe.

With soap.

And are subjected to drying off with girlish, daisy beach towel for further embarrassment as punishment.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Cabin Fever-sort of

Winter here is, thankfully, damn near OVAH! I'm looking forward to putting the thick socks and long sleeves away and breaking out the flipflops and short shorts. I'm tougher than I used to be in waiting out the last couple weeks of winter. Especially since spending a looooong winter in Canada a couple years ago. I came really close to having a complete breakdown on Easter that year, but that's a story for another day. Ever since then, I made a promise to myself never to complain about being cold and I sort of broke it the other day but only for a minute.

I've been bitching about my health lately and I'm not doing that now, I promise but the subject I do want to bitch about is related-kind of. So here's the thing-and it doesn't really bother me that much-but it happens every single day. I live amongst a lot of retirees and people of all ages who've moved here from places like New Jersey or New York, Michigan, Illinois,Ohio- basically cold and wintry places. I'm proud to share my town and my home state-I don't blame them, if I lived somewhere else, I'd want to move here too. Here's where my health comes into play-I have no temperature control since my thyroid was removed. I'm cold all the damn time. Then sometimes I'll get hot for no reason. But I'm pretty much freezing if the temperature drops below 70. I walk my dog at least 4 times a day. It's good exercise for the both of us and I'm still having a hard time recovering so it's good for me to be able to get outside because I get antsy sitting at home all the time, convalescing. I have to wear gloves, scarf and a hat because I can't tolerate the cold-being cold makes it hard for me to breathe and the last thing I need right now is to catch a flu. The people around here look at me like I'm a damn insane asylum escapee because I'm cold. Ok I get it-you're from where it's really cold so you can walk around in shorts and t-shirts and I'm the village idiot walking around with ear muffs! You're in the cool people section because you're from a real city with real seasons and I'm the wimpy, scarf toting, hood wearing bumpkin-happy now?
Like I said it doesn't ruin my existence but it's everyday. I've been trying to snap pictures of them but I'm not sure how to do it on the sly. Some of them already think I'm a complete fool because I once tripped and fell into the lake in front of the senior citizens' bus(that was so embarassing) but again, that's a story for another day.

On a more serious note

I just finished reading the book 'Freakonomics'. When I get to the end of a book I enjoyed reading I always ask myself(Oprah would be so proud), what did I get out of it-how did this book enhance my life? Here's what I got out of it: In the 90s, a survey was taken on the names given to babies born in the state of California(because of Arnold-I can't say the word California anymore without using his accent). Apparently, if I remember correctly, my name(Angel) was the number one name given to daughters born to low-income, low educated parents and , sadly,would likely grow up to be low-income and low educated women. There was a whole chapter about names and the significance and popularity of them. That was the most interesting part of the book. There was also something in there about sumo wrestlers and teachers who cheat. I'm always the last to read a book because I get most of mine at the library.
I just checked out that book 'Words Words Words' by David Crystal. Can you guess what it's about? I'm only on the 11th page but so far it's really interesting. It sounds so nerdy which is why I like it so much.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

General Observations by the Little Pea

Remember those Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey moments on Saturday Night Live from the 90s? I had a moment like that a few minutes ago and felt the urge to share...

Have you ever noticed that the lead guitarist in every band always gets dry-humped by the singer during solos? This always happens whether or not either person is a man or a woman. Doesn't the drummer or back up singer need love too? Just thought I'd put that out there...

(Little Pea is a nickname my husband gave me by the way-he's 6'2, I'm 4'11 so you can imagine all the nicnames I have. Mouse, Bunny, Shrimpee, Sweetpea-Littlepea-all that stuff. )

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Damn Winter Cold

Unless there's a damn alien invasion, these booties are staying put!

Friday, February 16, 2007


The other day I was at the grocery store. At the check-out line there was a tired looking woman in front of me with her son. He had a cutie angelic face, as all kindergarten-aged kids do and he really did not like standing in line. He kept calling her stupid-face and this poor woman looked like she was about to lose it. I remember being little and impatient about being in line with my mom but I don't remember ever feeling comfortable enough to call my mom a stupidface. The poor woman was so nice too- she kept saying softly,"Sweetie, mommy doesn't like those kinds of names. It's not nice and it hurts my feelings." Finally, she got a little mad and said in a 'I-mean-it' voice,"I really wish you would stop calling me that and behave or you'll get a spanking in the car." This little boy looked at her with his sweet little face and screamed,"I WISH YOU WOULD SHUT UP AND GO TO HELL!" I was expecting the walls to fall down but she didn't even blink. She took her cart and they calmly walked out of the store. He won. I felt sorry for her.

I can't even think of anything else to say about that.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Well at least for another couple hours! I was too early for my doctor appointment today so we went to the beach for a few minutes. It was such a beautiful day.

I decided to wear something really special for V-Day. Alluring. Sexy. Seductive...
MrPea couldn't take his eyes off me-he likes the She-Unibomber look. I was so dern cold in the restaurant I had to cover my ears lest I freeze to death. We didn't do gifts--I'm not a "you didn't buy me a gift-you bastard!" kind of wife. I'm planning on buying some really ridiculously priced shoes in the next couple weeks anyway and tomorrow I'm making a pineapple-upside-down-cake. He'll eat the whole thing over the next few days by himself. The way to my husband's heart truly is with sugary foods. He never gains a pound either.

I don't really have anything new to add-there are some weird complications regarding my cancer follow-up but nothing to be scared about. I'm optimistic-just impatient. I feel a lot better after seeing my doc today-she's like a pit bull. I don't think I'll need another surgery-knock on freakin wood(I'm trying to stop swearing it's so bad)!
Anyway I hope everyone had a good day today. Thanks again you guys for all the good wishes!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

EEEeek! Ratzz & Lizzardzz

My skin is still crawling from the trauma of it all! Earlier today Peanut and I were walking around, enjoying the sunshine and birds singing everywhere. I looked at the curb and saw something dead and furry. I assumed it was a squirrel since they are all over the place where I live. Upon inspection, I realised it was a mouse. Peanut decided it belonged in his mouth--- I disagreed. My Peanut is still taking steroids so he has incredible Hulk strength and because of my health that I already bitched about, I'm not very strong right now. He won the tug of war and pulled us closer to the dead body and then... what happened....IT WAS ALIVE!! It started squirming and wiggling-it was obviously dying and my inner animal lover/activist felt sorry enough for it to reach deep within for just the muscle power to keep my salivating and yelping with excitement Jack Russel away from finishing the job one of the thousand vultures that live around here would have been happy to do. I was able to get him away from the poor thing but it was already too late. Peanut was in hunt-frenzy mode. Every living thing was vulnerable. Every leaf that moved in the breeze was a potential victim. After a few minutes he started walking in the direction towards home.
We got home and I noticed he didn't drink water but went straight to my bedroom. I already knew what was going on in there. I walked in slowly. My dog caught a lizard while I wasn't looking and for reasons known only to him, he enjoys bringing all his victims in MY ROOM. Not to his five hiding places or 4 of his own beds-my room. He likes to let it go-catch it again-let it go-catch it again then cry while poking it with his nose after it dies. I picked him up-lizard in mouth-and put him on the patio because the general rule in the house is: any house member who likes to torture lizards, please do so NOT IN MY ROOM, thankyou. Please PETA don't come to my house-it's not my fault-I knew JackRussel's enjoyed hunting fox in England but since I don't live in England or own foxes I thought all others would be safe. I even had a small
but respectful funeral:

I've said it before and I'll say it again:does this look like the face of a killer?

I didn't have my camera on hand to take any pictures of the mouse but I wouldn't have been able to anyway. Peanut is stronger than me right now and it would have been that mouse's doom.

Pointless Info About My Fragile Health

I haven't been feeling 100 percent the past few weeks and I knew it was anemia. I had some blood work done a couple weeks ago to check my thyroid levels and I asked my endocrinologist if they could check for anemia too, just to be sure. So the anemia results went to my family physician, who I had an appointment with yesterday. He said I have to take iron supplements 3 times a day for at least the next six months and I have to get my blood work done again in three weeks and again 3 months after that. In the mean time, still no strenuous activity or high level aerobic exercises until my iron level is back up because there isn't enough oxygen my blood. Wonderful. I also lost 5 pounds which isn't that much but at my height, is a lot. I don't have a scale in my house so I never know how much I weigh. I wasn't trying to lose at all but I have noticed that my pants have been loose. He said my thyroid level is too high which explains it because I never lost weight by not exercising at all and eating tons of chocolate covered popcorn, mashed potatoes with extra gravy and cheese quesadillas before. I don't like losing weight because when I weigh less, I always have some kind of cold or flu-those kinds of ailments. I get slightly confused when I think of how healthy my lifestyle is and how unhealthy I always am. I've always taken good care of myself-I walk at least 40 minutes a day with Peanut and despite the bad foods above, I eat fresh veggies, lean meats, whole grains-all that good stuff. I don't smoke-or drink heavily. I don't snack-except for the chocolate covered popcorn lately, but that doesn't count. I loathe soft drinks and sugary juices. I sleep 7 hours or more every night. I pretty much have a fairly stress-free life. That f-ing surgery and radio iodine crap really knocked me on my ass and I thought by now I would be back to normal. I said to my husband the other day, "I'm too young to feel this old." I guess it's genetic.
It's strange because, before all this happened, I was having such a beautiful time. It's hard to explain, but, for the first time, ever, I felt happy with myself, good about my body, proud to be turning 30. I was planning on going back to college and travel a bit. Remember those cheesy,I-AM-WOMAN tampon commercials or those really cheesy shampoo/hair color commercials? With the bouncing beautiful hair and the girl all smiling in the sunshine and full of un-obnoxious confidence? That was me last summer. I had so much energy and happiness and love. I want to be that way again. I'm not just looking at last year through post-cancer-colored glasses, either- everyone noticed how great I felt. But, I really need to be more patient-and thankful because it could have been worse-there was a cure for my cancer and not everyone is that lucky. I know I'll be healthy again.
I have another appointment tomorrow with my endocrinologist, who's opinion I trust above all others because she's the one who found the cancer after everyone else I had gone to was like,"oh don't worry about it, you're a healthy girl, we don't need to check for anything else, just take these pills and everything will be ok-by the way does your insurance cover this visit-if not let me update your address so we know where to send the bill." MrPea thinks I should sue and I probably could but, even so-I'm too tired and perhaps too forgiving for all that. Anyway-blah-blah-blah! I had my five minute bitch-festival about my health. F-ing cancer!

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Y-M-C-A it's fun to stay at the......

I went to watch my 10 year old nephew's basketball game today. I have to admit, even though I've heard about parents who are a bit extreme at those events, I was shocked. A lot of the parents were screaming at the kids and getting angry when they made a mistake. I was thinking,"Dude, your kid is 10! TEN ok? Give him a f- break and let him enjoy himself!" Maybe I'm too soft. One lady(if I can call her a lady) was screaming,"Relax! Relax!" while her son was about to shoot from the foul line and then screamed,"Jesus Christ!" when he missed both times. Right in my ear, might I add. Did she really think he could relax with her screaming like that??? They were even screaming obscenities at the referees. How dare they enforce the rules!! Those bastards! And there were a couple moms in the back gossiping and saying some really dirty things about one of the other moms-and oh she's fat and getting divorced haha and ooh can you believe what she's wearing-can her pants be any tighter-slut-she prol'ly has a disease and ooh check her out I heard she was an alcoholic, and look at him you know he sleeps around!(this is the clean version of thier conversation) They knew everyone could hear them too, even the children. I'm not one of those-'Omigosh don't breathe in front of the children-don't blink in the presence of children' type of people either.

We noticed one of the players on the other team happened to be the only girl and we all had a Gloria Steinem moment. She tried to shoot a three pointer and totally missed and someone yelled out to her,"Good try!" Her coach yelled,"NO,That was not a good try!" He was on her ass the entire time-I'm not saying it was because she was girl, but he was encouraging with the others and so hard on her and she was the best damn one on her team!!! Someone fouled her at that moment so she had to go to the foul line. My sister and I, plus the women we were with, jokingly, made fists at the coach. She got both baskets and waved to us, smiling....hey anything I can do for my fellow sister. We saw a chance to embrace female solidarity and jumped on it :o)

I never saw a bunch of children playing a game and looking so stressed out before. I asked my sister if the parents were always so crazed at these things. She said,"I'm used to it-you should see how they act at baseball games, it's worse." Really?

Friday, February 09, 2007

TT Cont.

Thirteen Insensitive/Rude Things I've Heard People Say:

1. It must suck being so short.--Like I said yesterday, I hear this all the time.

2. I saw your makeover on the news yesterday, the lighting made your acne look worse than in person.--This was said to a friend of mine by her coworker.

3. Your sister's a bitch, but, I like you.--This was said to me during 8th grade cheerleader tryouts by an older 'cool people section' girl. What could I have said,"gee, thanks?" She ended up threatening to kick my ass on the last day of school and I never figured out why being as I only had one other interaction with her besides that but that's another story for another day. Awh junior high-good times.

4. I'd invite you (to dinner), but the people we're meeting aren't your kind of people.--This was said from one coworker to another in front of me. It was at my first job and I worked at the mall. I remember thinking in her defense, "We sell jeans and slutty clothing here, are you trying to say that you're hanging out with the bookstore people and they are just way over her head?"

5. Your from (insert name of a country)? Man, I heard the prostitutes were really hot there.--Ok this was one of the weirdest moments of my life thinking about it now. This was aid to me by a boyfriend's neighbor. He was, I think, in his 40s-married-with kids, but for whatever reason hung out with the teenagers on that street. What the hell kind of response is one supposed to give after that? That was actually the cleanest thing he said that day because he also went on to say some other filthy things about the female genitalia but my fingers will fall off if I write them down here. The strangest part was-I heard later, when he was told all the girls were grossed out, he said he meant those things as compliments. CREEPY!

6. Let me help you with that, she doesn't know what she's doing-she's just the bikini salesgirl here. She wouldn't know a clue about that.--This wasn't said to me, but about me. I was working in a surf shop and going to school and the owner was a jerk and a sexual harasser-that's also a story for another day. A female customer asked me for help just as he walking into the store. I have to note that he was from Louisiana and had never been on a surfboard in his life-he just pretended like he was this hard core surfer and I've lived on the beach my whole life. I didn't work there very long....

7. You're hair is really long, where do you get your extensions done?--This was said to me by a coworker of my husband's during an office party in front of everyone. She's mean to everyone so it didn't bother me even though I've never had extensions in my life. She also said #2 and #10.

8. I feel so comfortable in your apartment because it always looks like shit so I
don't feel like I have to dress up to come over here.--A college classmate said that to my roommate and I. In our defense we both worked full time and went to school full time so our house was sanitary but not organized.

9. I liked you better with a beard-it's all too much face now.--The girl who said the statement above(#8) said that to our poor neighbor who had been dumped by his girlfriend and shaved off his beard in an effort to start over-it was our advice(me and my roommate). We thought he looked nice.

10. Do they make strange click, click sounds when they're talking where you're from? That's pretty weird!--Isn't this woman creative? Like I said the woman who just loves my long hair said this to a colleague's wife. She is from South Africa and that bitch just felt like pointing that out to everyone. I could write an entire book about this woman but then she'd get the validation she so badly needs.

11. Why do you need a blue tooth-you're like nobody important.--My sister overheard one mom say this to another mom at her son's preschool. Not very nice.

12. I'm going to get some lemon cake but maybe you should skip desert.--I actually heard a mother say this to her daughter at Starbucks.

13. I wish I could wear tacky clothes and get away with it, but somehow it suits you.--A sales lady said this to my friend while we were trying on clothes at a vintage store. I think she really did mean it as a compliment but it didn't come out that way.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Thursday Thirteen-Rude Things I've Heard People Say

Some were said to me directly, a couple at other people in my presence. A couple of them were said by the same person. Some of them you're not going to believe but trust me-I didn't make any of these up. I have a freakishly vivid ability to remember things which is why I'm always surprised that people-strangers, even, are constantly telling me their secrets and extra info that I didn't really want to know-but that's a story for another day. Actually I was inspired by Des' post from yesterday, she talked about "mock-liments" a term I love and have now stolen from her(hope you don't mind)-if you're one of her regular readers then you should be able to guess at least one of them. I've been guilty of blurting out some insensitive things myself-more than once, of course, but I'll keep those for next week's. If you want to know which were directed at me --check back.

Thirteen Insensitive/Rude Things I've Heard People Say:

1. It must suck being so short.
2. I saw your makeover on the news yesterday, the lighting made your acne look worse than in person.
3. Your sister's a bitch, but, I like you.
4. I'd invite you (to dinner), but the people we're meeting aren't your kind of people.
5. Your from (insert name of a country)? Man, I heard the prostitutes were really hot there.
6. Let me help you with that, she doesn't know what she's doing-she's just the bikini salesgirl here. She wouldn't know a clue about that.
7. You're hair is really long, where do you get your extensions done?
8. I feel so comfortable in your apartment because it always looks like shit so I don't feel like I have to dress up to come over here.
9. I liked you better with a beard-it's all too much face now.
10. Do they make strange click, click sounds when they're talking where you're from? That's pretty weird!
11. Why do you need a blue tooth-you're like nobody important.
12. I'm going to get some lemon cake but maybe you should skip desert.
13. I wish I could wear tacky clothes and get away with it, but somehow it suits you.

I'll give the answer for 2 of them since those are the easiest to figure out. #1-I've heard that all my life since I stopped growing in the 5th grade and even then everyone else was taller than me but the response to that is always Hellll Nooo. It does not suck being short and the reasons why it doesn't suck being short will one day be one of my future TTs! Still's not a nice thing to say.
Obviously #9 wasn't directed at me since I've never had a beard nor the ability to grow one. I swear!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Stripper Names

An old friend who I hadn't heard from in forever called me out of the blue a couple weeks ago just to ask me what my stripper name was-I'm pretty sure there was some alcohol involved. I guess everyone else in the world but me has heard about how to figure out your stripper name(I'm always the last to know these imporatant things). You combine the name of your childhood pet and the name of the street you grew up on.


*My stripper name is Casper Cypress-thank you ,I'll be signing autographs until 2.
*Mr.Pea's is Spaghetti St.Maurice.
*(The drunk girl who called me is Buffy Willow.)

What's yours? If you feel the inclination.... :o)

Tuesday, February 06, 2007


I actually heard these sentences come out of the mouths of hetero-sexual men over the weekend-no lie:
(Mr.Pea wanted me to make sure I let everyone know he did not participate in any of the conversations wherein these sentences occurred-he's way too manly)

"I bought Justin Timberlake's cd, and I love it."

"You guys are gonna laugh, but, I really do think Britney Spears has some talent and I can see her having a come back."

"Have you ever heard that song,'Let's hear for the boy'? It's from the 80s. I like that song."

"Is my hair wierd?"

"Awh! It's raining! I just got this shirt dry-cleaned!"

"I can't believe Kelly Slater(pro-surfer) is going out with Cameron Diaz! uhhh what is wrong with him!"

"I hate those shoes-they look like nurse shoes."

"Do you think I should get my eyes done?"


Monday, February 05, 2007

Since I'm too lazy for anything deep-as per usual lately

This isn't that kind of blog anyway.

I took these with my new camera and the words to express how much I love it, don't exist. I'm still learning all the 'stuff' it can do and playing with the settings. It's a 6m-I probably should have bought a more powerful camera but it's so EASY, and that was what I wanted. I didn't want a camera that I needed to have a PhD to figure out. I love the fact that without a memory card-I can still take 130 pictures if I have it on the email pic setting, which is what I mostly use anyway. I did try a couple high resolution pix-but it's been too cold for me to get outside and really get some good ones and I never bought a memory card yet because, honestly, I didn't even know what that was so I can only take 10 in high resolution until I get one---hurry spring--- hurry spring!!
Have I ever introduced you to Mittens? I'm his babysitter. He's only the bestest kitty in the whole world and universe-(besides your kitties of course :o) I wish I didn't have the flash on his eyes because he looks like he's about to zap some laser beams out of them. Fear him-fear him! He's Peanut's favorite friend.

Peanut's face is not as dark now that he's an old man. I didn't know that happened to dogs.

I have some more to post that I took over the weekend. I went out and witnessed all kinds of debaucheries and plan on posting them dammit!

Friday, February 02, 2007

Since I'm on the subject and I know he's reading

I am the baby in the family and everyone is always amazed by my superwoman memory. My dad was fortunate enough to have three daughters. I can understand what that does to a man like my father. I remember that my mother worked in the evenings so during the day she was always home with me in my toddler years. Every once in a while, and this was a very rare event, I had to stay with a friend of hers during the day and once or twice I went to a day care. This is why this memory is so vivid:

I was about 3 or 4 and my dad took me to a day care center and explained to them that I was only to be there for one or two days. I had never been to that place before so I didn't know the 'rules' or the routine. I have to explain that all my life I have been doted on, babied, and looked after by my older sisters and brother-everything I ever did was just sooo cute and soooo adorable and sooo special in their eyes. Plus I had inherited a smart mouth. So I'm sure I was not very cooperative at this place. During story time I wasn't paying attention or keeping still and one of the ladies in charge was a little rough handed with me while putting me in the naughty corner and I specifically remember that I didn't understand that I was misbehaving.

The next day my father, in all his Navy uniform glory took me to that place and the woman was all smiles- "Hello sir, can I help you?"

Him:"Yes you can help me. You can help me find out who the hell put their (insert explicative) hands on my (insert explicative) daughter!"

I only remember that part so I don't know what happened after but change a couple words and that same sentence can be used to describe several situations:

At the doctor getting a shot:
"Don't you hear her screaming? Take your (insert explicative) hands off my (insert explicative) daughter!"

At school if one of us was sent for a spanking(it was school policy then and they had to call for parental permission): "I don't(insert explicative) think so! Don't lay a (insert explicative) hand on my (insert explicative) daughter!"

At the airport some strangely dressed people tried to give my sister a flower: need I even go on? I'm sure you get the idea

I'm pretty sure this is a common story.


Who thinks it's funny that my dad lurks here?

I do-I do!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Thursday Thirteen Songs I Sing In The Shower

While doing this, I just realized why the lady who lives next door hates me. She glares at me-and I mean GLARES at me every time I see her which is quite often because I walk my dog around the same time she leaves for work and comes home. I don't care though, I smile big at her because I don't know what her problem is and have no reason to dislike her other than the fact that she hates me. MrPea and I have different bathrooms because I hate sharing a bathroom with a boy. So the ladies room in my home is right where her master bedroom is.

This in no way represents my music preferences because I don't have a preference. I love just about every song I've ever heard. Most of them are oldies because, personally, I find oldies easier to sing and more fun to sing in the shower. I use the word 'sing' very generously because I used to at least sing in tune before my surgery but now I sound like an angry cat with strep throat. And that's fine with me.

Thirteen songs I sing in the shower

1. The Joker, Steve Miller Band
2. Is this Love, Bob Marlery
3. Take it Off, The Donnas
4.Sexual Healing, Marvin Gaye
5. Let's Groove, Earth Wind and Fire
6. One Way or Another, Blondie
7. Stayin' Alive, Beegees
8. The Hawaii 5-0 theme song-I don't know who composed this song
9.What am I to you, Nora Jones
10.Get down on it, Kool and the Gang
11. Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Barry White
12. SuperFreak, Rick James
13. I wanna hold your hand, The Beatles

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
3.the rock chick

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!