Kindergarten, church, and new friends

Today was my read-aloud-to-a-really-squirmy-kindergarten-class day. I mentioned last spring that I started covering for a person who for whatever reason couldn't do it anymore. It's only twice a month so I said yes when I was asked to do it again. The person in charge of coordinating the whole thing told me they always have a hard time finding people who are willing to read to the younger classes. I sort of expect kids to act squirmy so it's not a big deal for me to read for 20 minutes if it helps out the always thankful looking teacher and librarian. They call me Miss Angel, which I've told you guys, makes me blush. There's usually some one's shoes to retie, a lot of hands raised to use the bathroom, giggling, poking, pinching, and every once in while someone will yell back at one of the voices I'm using for the book characters.(Yes, I told you guys, I do the voices. They like it and it keeps their attention! I had to do mean pirate voices this time.) Today there was a lot of shushing but not on my part. Two boys had to be separated because they are BFF and get into trouble whenever they sit together. By the middle of the second book I noticed them inching towards each other and giggling. I know I'm supposed discourage them when they don't listen to the librarian, but I can't help it. They make me laugh. One girl in blond pigtails asked to use the bathroom. Suddenly the whole class had to use the bathroom. The librarian said no so I had to say no too. I felt a little bad about that. By the end of my last book one of my kids interrupted to ask me if I knew how to make puke noises. I said,"Of course." I did refuse to make fart noises.(I mean I have to draw the line somewhere.)This caused a huge ruckus of giggling and the librarian told them all we had to hurry up so that they would have time to check out their own books before their teacher came back. I really should be more strict with my kids because I can tell the librarian thinks we're too rambunctious but I like them that way. I want them to enjoy their time with me. I love reading and when I was kid I loved having books read to me. I hope that my being there, making it fun and not so structured for them will somehow teach them that books can be just as entertaining as video games and silly cartoons.


I got to be in a parade at my church. Well it wasn't really a parade, it was more of a procession. There were about 70 of us and we each had to to hold a sign of a particular ministry we were representing as we walked down the aisle to music for 2 different services. My sign was "weekend renewal." I'm glad no one asked me about it because I wouldn't have known a thing to say since I didn't know anything nor have I ever participated in the "weekend renewal" . Up until five minutes before I was assigned that particular sign I didn't even know we had a "weekend renewal". I only said yes I would do it because a new friend of mine was holding a sign too and we wanted to be in the parade together. And yes I did enjoy the attention. I tried to hold it "Price is Right" style. I'm expecting any day now to be told how my involvement was so impressive that thousands of people signed up for "weekend renewal" and that it was the largest fundraising in history. Yup.

Speaking of my new friend, don't you just love meeting a kindred spirit? I met a really funny woman who totally gets my silliness. I knew we would be friends when I saw her at my book club with her leg propped up on another chair because she had an ankle brace on. Over the ankle brace were some really cute high heels. She knows what's up. That is totally something I would do and you guys know how I feel about shoes. I said to myself, my kind of woman, we are totally going to be BFF.

I'd like to thank the Academy...and dedicate this award to my peeps

Heartinsanfransisco has been nice enough to award me with a Nice Award! Since it's a nice award I guess gloating is out of the question........

I'm supposed to pass it on to 5 of my peeps. Hmmm, who is nice???.....oh yeah, I don't hang around mean people. Every person from my cool people section deserves this award. Well except maybe....just kidding-I had you for a second there didn't I??

I included both award pics like hearts did so people can choose which one they like. I lean a little towards this one because that cat looks like a smartass and you all know my affinity for smartasses. It was made by Big Brother over at Life in the Twilight Zone. I've never met him in my life but I though it was proper to give credit.

Well it sucks that the rules said 5 dammit. But these 5 were my first blog friends so since it is a nice award.....feel free to pass it on or not.

Laurie from Don't MAKE me get my flying monkeys actually was the very first blogger to befriend me. She is so very dedicated to her family and loved ones. So many of her posts are humbly filled with the deeds she does for them and how much she cares for them. She always has beautiful pictures of her surroundings and something interesting to say. In her most recent post she leaves an address to send cards or letters to her father in his new home. This is a perfect example of the kind of person she is.


Thailand Gal's blog is one of the most thought provoking blogs I've ever been lucky enough to stumble upon. Her kind of thought provocation usually aims us inward than out. Even when she writes about a hot button issues, her words always seem to force us to think about ourselves, our place in the world and how we contribute to or take from it. Her descriptions of her heart's home, Thailand, and her love for a culture she wasn't born into but adopted, give people who don't feel they have a place in the world, inspiration to create one on their own.

Hel, from Truth Cycles, writes so vividly and so poetically about(literally) everything under the sun in her home in South Africa. Her hopes and fears for her self, her country and its people can be seen in her photos as well. She is someone who is not afraid to show vulnerability in her true spirit and someone who finds herself in nature. This measly little paragraph doesn't even do justice to how visual her writing is. AND her photos of her beautiful dogs appeals to the dog lover in me.

Super Des from The Wonderful World of Des is one of the funniest, 'smartassiest' bloggers on the block. Her humor in everyday situations and the people in them leave me cracking up again when I encounter the same things on my own. I like that her humor is so honest but not mean. She also likes to make up her own words, just like I do.

Flutter is one of the most talented writers...I don't even have good enough words to describe. Sometimes, I'll be reading a post and I feel like I'm reading one of my old Anais Nin diaries. Not because of the sensuality but the quiet sweetness of moments she shares with us. I feel privileged, like I've been let in on a secret. Her poetry is like a soft breeze.




I'm not a good enough writer to really express how great these bloggers are so check them out. And while you're at it take a look at the rest of my peeps in the cool people section. My plan was to mention EVERYONE I linked with so as not to leave anyone out anyway. Until I saw what time it was and realized how hungry I am.....so forgive me if you feel that way. It's not that I value one above the other, it's just that I'm hungry:O)

By the way, I'm still working on interview questions for the rest of the people who asked and I'm not finished yet so give me a couple more days if I haven't got them out to you yet. I will, I haven't forgotten.

Random-Catching up

-Dammit I'm exhausted. I'm not sure where all this fatigue came from. The past few days I've been dragging myself around and feeling like someone beat the sugar out of me.....just now I was watching the news and somehow fell asleep for an hour like an old Grandpa after Sunday brunch. What the hell happened?

-I haven't been able to get to every one's blog I'd like to and I also haven't updated my cool people links as I said I would a thousand times, please feel free to leave any reprimands in my comments section especially those of you who linked to me long ago and haven't received reciprocity(say those two words 15 times really fast and let me know how it ends up.)

-On a happy note, I got a card in the mail from the make up counter I frequent for all my beauty necessities. They know who the sucker is all right. I get a free gift with my next purchase of $28.50 or more. I already know this is bait for me to spend more but I can't help but feel extra special about the free gift chosen especially for me by the make up girl who really cares about me. I didn't even start wearing makeup until about 4 years ago and now look at me, it's like crack for me. And oh! Speaking of happy, those sunglasses I've been drooling over are officially under $200.00 and I have given myself permission to buy them next week since that was the price I was waiting for anyway.

-I haven't been able to finish any paintings lately. I really have nothing to add or any excuses, I just felt it was important to say that. Next week will be better.



BTW Anyone who wants a link, let me know ok? This excludes anyone who came upon this website by google searching "ripe ass", "hot damn ass", or "Peanut Humping." I know who you(ya'll) are! I have webmaster and site meter, you know, it's not like I wouldn't have figured it out, so you came here looking for some 'ripe ass' and all you found was a smartass fully clothed housewife with a foul mouth and a hyper dog.....serves you right. I was going to disinvite you but that wouldn't be polite. You're not disinvited so long as you behave.......

Folk Groupie?Me? I would have never thought

One of my favorite memories as a kid is being in the backseat of my Grandparents' car while they were driving me to Dairy Queen. This memory sticks out because there are four kids in my family and I have tons of cousins there so whenever I was visiting, we were always all together but this time I was alone with them. I was about 8 or 9 and we were driving down the hilly, winding road where they lived. It was a beautiful West Virginia summer day and the colors in my memory are yellows and greens. There was a folk song from the 60s on the radio and they were singing it together and I remember being so happy because they were singing. Even though it was the first and only time I had ever heard that song(at the time Madonna was the end all and be all in music for me) I always remembered it because it was such a happy moment for me. Skip 10 years later and one of the women in the group who recorded that song ended up being my neighbor and became one of my closest and dearest friends. She's not one to brag so I knew her for a long time before I even figured it out. Even then I didn't want to come out and say, oh my Grandparents are huge fans! I did end up telling her about that and she was proud that she got to have a small part in one of my favorite moments of my life.


I'll find any excuse to tell everyone who she is because it embarrasses her. (in a good way) One day at Costco I saw a folk music compilation cd and I knew her group would be on it and when we saw the name I got really excited and said, really loud, just to embarass her really good,"Dee, Let's check if your song is on here. Look! It's you! Everyone in the music section stop and observe! This woman's voice is on thishere cd! When you guys go home, you can tell all your friends you had a moment with greatness. This a damn compilation cd, folks, this means it's important. Here she is at the very Costco you shop at buying pretzels!" The whole time she was mortified(in a good way) and trying to run away from me but there were only 3 people there- one looked at me like I was an idiot(which didn't offend me since I was acting like one anyway) and the other two laughed at us. (I do this to everyone. I once ran after my sister at the grocery store yelling,"Hello, you forgot your Preperation H! Don't you need it?"If I were at Costco with one of you, dear readers, I would do it to you-not the Preperation H thing but something more appropriate for the situation, of course. I expect and invite reciprocation, it's funny.)
A few years back, her group had a reunion concert thingy. When she got back, I bothered her and bothered her to let me watch the video because it was going to be on PBS and I wanted to see it first. I had never seen her sing and had only heard a couple songs before. She wasn't really that excited about the whole thing so I had to really pester-something I'm very good at(in a good way). While we were watching it, she told me during one of the songs, for her part, she had to hit a high note. So every time they had to perform that song, she was always a little nervous. And when she would hear a recording of it, she cringed a little just before that high note, even though she knew it was a recording and of course the high note was just right! I have a couple of the group's songs on my ipod, including the high-note song, not because I love it so much but just to have it, you know? The funny thing is today, while I was listening to my ipod, I had it set to shuffle and that very song came on-and right before the high-note, I found myself cringing a little too. In a good way.

Tuesday Confession

I felt so free last week so I thought I should do it again.

I used to smoke. It was a disgusting habit that started behind my best friend's above ground pool when we were twelve. I quit the day I turned twenty. The truth is, I was never really a true smoker. It was mainly because I wanted to be cool. This is not my confession though.

Here goes: I used to steal people's lighters. I'm not sure why, but a couple of my friends and I started this sick, silly competition of who could steal the most lighters. The rules were you had to steal lighters in front of your victim and never from the store-that doesn't count. I don't think we were actually competing for anything more than bragging rights but I have to admit that I was the best at it. My method was to pretend I didn't have one and,"Oh can I borrow yours,heehee?", then put it on the table or wherever I was sitting instead of giving it back, then put it in my pocket by the end of the night. Another rule was that if the person you stole your lighter from asked for it back, you had to play stupid and hand it over. So if you knew me when I was 18-20, I probably stole a lighter or two or three from you. If you hung out with me, I had already planned out how your lighter would end up in my pocket by the end of our encounter within 30 seconds. We even had a sick way of furtively showing each other the lighter we were just about to steal before slipping in into a pocket or purse right from under the victim's nose, giggling the entire time. This is the dumbest game on Earth but my two friends and I gained so much sick happiness out of this game that once in a while I'll be watching something on tv or observing people smoking together and think to myself,"Now! Now! He's not looking! Put it in your bra, nobody will notice. Damn! You missed the perfect opportunity!"

Some people play video games endlessly, some shop lift, some gamble, some do crack, some just sit around and played scrabble. Me, I stole lighters. Until I reformed my soul, quit smoking and realized the stupidness (a new word, it just sounds so much better than stupidity) of stealing lighters. Forgive me fellow and former smokers of the world, for I have sinned.




*I'm not a kleptomaniac, I promise. Other than lighters from unknowing innocent smokers, I've never stolen anything in my life. Anyone who doesn't want to be friends with me anymore, it's ok, sniffsniff, I understand, sniffsniff, it doesn't hurt my feelings. Does the excuse that I was a teenager and a penniless college student change your mind? NO? Ok fine, go be friends with someone else then...sniffsniff
And just for the record quitting smoking was the best decision I ever made.


Again feel free to purge yourself from your misguided transgressions here, if you feel the inclination. You are forgiven, my peeps.

I turned into my own mom 3 weeks ago

But only for a minute. We went out to a club with some friends. This club had two rooms; a hiphop room and an 80s room. For dancing I always prefer the hiphop room but it's never 'the cool people section.' For some reason, and this is in every club I've ever been in, the 80s room is always 'the cool people section.' So of course, the people we were with wanted to be in there. I love 80s music as I love all kinds of music but I guess because I was a kid during the 80s, it's hard for me to feel like I'm really in 'the cool people section.' This is because it's impossible for me to listen to 80s music without the image of George Micheal bouncing around in those daisy dukes. Don't get me wrong, I adored him. I remember my little 11 year old self sitting in my best friend's living room eating oreos and giggling whenever that song came on MTV.(back when MTV actually played videos, remember? good times) I had such a crush and dammit I'll admit it! My older brother used to tease about it and say,"What the hell is wrong with you? He's not interested in girls, check out those shorts, do you need any more proof than that?"

I thought he was an idiot and that there was no possible reason on Earth that this man wouldn't eventually fall in love with me, but that's another story. Back to the club: I needed to use the bathroom. I'm not the sort of girl that always has to have another girl with me just to go to the bathroom. So I went alone. I had to pass through the hiphop room. I was jealous of all the people in there dancing and having a good time. Because I was stuck in the lame 'cool people section' where no one was really dancing,"Come On Eileen" was blasting, and all the people were drunkstupid(not drunkfun). Hiphop is supposed to be so sexy and kind of macho and coooool, you guys know. So I go to the bathroom and when I came out they were playing a song that I knew and liked so I walked slowly just so I could listen some and sort of dance my way out(back to the lame room). Apparently I hadn't heard this version of the song, it must be the version that's not allowed on the radio. I took a deep breathe, put my hands on my hips, and said outloud,"This song is DIRTY!!!! I can't believe my ears." I was looking at the girls and thinking, "How can you be dancing to this? These lyrics are degrading!" I almost forgot where I was. And then I snapped out of it because I remembered listening to worse lyrics and rolling my eyes at my mom when she said the same thing. Good thing no one was there to see. I put my hands down and joined the rest of my group so I could watch them all make fools of themselves to the tune of The GoGos. (Remember I said I took pictures? I want to post them so bad but I'm using them for blackmail. The price of me not posting them are still under negotiation. Need some extra money? Just do what I do: don't drink and bring your camera.)




*He wasn't the only one I had a crush on. Johnny Depp was my first love. And River Phoenix. Since George has boyfriend and River passed away, there might be some hope left for Johnny. But I'm married now so he's just going to have to understand that and get over me already.....

Most embarrassing moment of my life

#1

Time: Jan.1983, 8:05 am
Place: Pearl Harbor Elementary-2nd grade morning line up section

I was 7 years old
I made the dumbest mistake of telling my sister during Christmas break(yesssss, it was Neenee) that I had a crush on Rodell, my lunch line partner, who up until that moment traded chips with me everyday during snack. Her real intentions unbeknownst to me, Neenee decided to be big sisterly that day and walked me to my class. She even invited a couple of her cool 5th grade friends to come with us. I felt extra-special-cool to be seen with older girls from the "cool people section" at school. *OK before I even go on are you guessing what happened? Should I even finish? ok I'll finish:

So there I am, trying to be cute in my new purple miniskirt and my sister and her"cool people section" friends decide to serenade me as I'm walking to my assigned place in line.

Oh- did you want to know the song they chose? It was called "Angel loves Rodell"-that's my name by the way. Just in case anyone would like to sing on their own or in the shower...where ever...I'll include the actual lyrics:

Angel Loves Rodell!
Angel Loves Rodell!
Angel and Rodell sitting in a tree---k-i-s-s-i-n-g.........

Oh you already know that song? Because I thought Neenee was just the most talented song writer and by the way I have to mention that they sang so loud and clear that it echoed throughout the entire school.

Isn't that so romantic?


Rodell moved to California two months later but by that time I had transferred my feelings to Scotty, my field trip partner.

Thursday Thirteen

I'm not sure if I did everything right but I saw this a couple times on Ms.Courtney's blog and it looked like fun so I signed up....they made me add links to EVERY SINGLE PERON in the whole damn world who participates in order to get my blog on their list but I might not keep it. It takes up too much space and I don't know how to get a scroll down link list. I'll wait and see if it starts to get on my nerves. It took me forever-it's all general stuff because I was too lazy for details. Feel free to participate-or not!

Thirteen Things about Little Pea Random facts about me 1. I was born on 7/21 at 7:21 2. I can sing "Silent Night" in Hawaiian 3. I hate talking on the phone 4. I have excellent eyesight-actually I have one eye that's perfect and one supereye that's better than perfect 5. When I was 16, I tried to pinch the president on the butt(this is true) 6. I do not own/would not own/hate logo bags 7. I don't really like sweets 8. I can't drive a stick shift-nor do I have the desire 9. Sea World makes me cry-I cannot handle seeing confined animals 10. I used to smoke-gross 11. I get creeped out easily-as you can tell from my last 2 entries 12. I love Mexican food-heaven is a quesadilla with beans and salsa 13. I love shoes-wow what a surprise

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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I had no idea

You Are Dr. Bunsen Honeydew

You take the title "mad scientist" to the extreme -with very scary things coming out of your lab. And you've invented some pretty cool things, from a banana sharpener to a robot politician. But while you're busy turning gold into cottage cheese, you need to watch out for poor little Beaker! "Oh, that's very naughty, Beaker! Now you eat these paper clips this minute."

The Muppet Personality Test

Apparently my muppet personality is that of a psycho-scientist...I disagree. I stole this from Spinning Girl. Hope she doesn't mind.

I finally dragged my ass out of lazy world and made some links. I'm still not finished-I have more but I got lazy in the middle and stopped. Some of these peeps don't know who the hell I am but that didn't stop me from putting them in the cool people section anyway.