Dearest, Most Beautiful Gucci Sunglasses That Would Look Perfect Perched On My Freckled Nose,
I love you. Oh Lament that you cost $260.00 without the possibility of going on sale until probably December! But by that time you'll most likely be sold out or I'll be irritated from waiting too long for you and find (gasp! dare I say)prettier shades. Why Why Why do you have to cost so much? You know that I refuse to pay that much on principle alone. Why, you ask? Because, my love, you're made of plastic not platinum. And besides, I could care less about your name- Gucci, smoochy, it's all the same to me, hun-I could give a rat's, er, behind about your name. Do you see any logo handbags hanging in my closet? Hell no. Ok... you got me on the shoes but shoes are different. Shoes are sacred. And anyway, not a damn one of them, no matter what they cost have a logo of any kind on them. I simply refuse to pay a ridiculous amount of money so that I can be a sheep to advertise for free and be one of those people who walk around with their logos screaming,"Look at me, please look at me. Everyone check out this logo because you need to know how much this bag is worth/I am worth," on the inside. Those logos are all ugly to me anyway. If your designers could come up with a logo pleasing to my eye, you might just win me over but until then, not happenin'. But that's not the point. The point is, I love you. I have never been in love with or wanted an accessory like this. I'm not even sure why I love you so much. But, my darling, I refuse, I absolutely refuse to purchase you until your price goes below 200. My dear, believe me, I am tempted, I am tormented-I love you that much. But tempt me no more! My love is steadfast but so are my principles dammit. Why do you have to be the perfect shade of browns and beiges that go with every ensemble in my closet, why? Why did you do this to me? I search and I search and the best you can do for me is $234.00? Dearest, that's just not enough. Prove to me that you want me to wear you and go on sale, I beg you. If you truly love me, you will find a way! I'm waiting...I'm waiting. Don't make me wait too long.
Yours forever or at least until I find another pair worthy of my love for under 200 dollars dammit,
PS I know my shirt in my profile pic has a logo on it, dear. But it's such a pretty logo and the shape of a heart! A Heart! Not just some ridiculous letters in a ridiculous pattern. And anyway, I paid less than $20.00 for that shirt. So you see, dearest sunglasses? I just. won't. do. it. Sorry.