Um. Ok. Again.

I've been trained by my Grandmother in the matter of social situations and small talk so I'm probably one of the most polite people you'll ever meet. I often find myself in conversations like this screaming with laughter on the inside but smiling sweetly on the outside.Remember this? I think I met one of her relatives at a party my husband talked me into going recently. He was pretty creepy and BTW staring at everyone's breasts.

Creepy: I live in -------.

Me: Really that's not far from me. I recently saw a piece on the news about the beach erosion there. Is that near you?

Creepy: No but I wish the county would do something about that.

Me: Well I think since it's a private beach, the county can't really do anything about it. It's a shame though, those homes are going to fall right into the sea, it looks like.

Creepy: Yeah. Nobody knows what hell's the problem over there.

Me: Well I wrote a theory about it once for a Marine Biology project when I was in college. Our class did some measuring in that area and given our findings, we came to believe it may be due to development and the jetties blocking the natural flow of sand from the North. It was a really interesting study.

Creepy:(loudly) NO! NO! NO! That's not it.

Me: Oh. ok.

Creepy: You couldn't be more wrong. You're totally wrong. That's not it.

Me: Oh. I wasn't saying that I knew for....

Creepy: Yeah you got it all wrong, you don't know what you're talking about.

Me: Oh.....um....are you an Oceanographer?

Creepy: No I don't even know what the hell an Oceanographer does.


(still expecting him to say he's in the field of someone with more knowledge about beach erosion)
Me: Oh what do you do?

Creepy:(sarcastically) I'm an accountant.

Me: Um. Ok.

oops

I sort of, accidentally had coffee today.(NOT!)

I was feeling a little slow because of the HUGE lunch I pigged out on and I accidentally thought to myself, "wouldn't a cup of coffee be nice?" It was raining outside and it seemed like a nice, cozy thing to do. Of course I meant decaf since it's been months since my last caffeine cup of coffee. I even have some half and half I bought to use in my mac-n-cheese recipe. Ok.

I accidentally never threw away the big canister of caramel flavored coffee my inlaws bought when they were here a couple months ago. So it was by complete accident that it was still next to the coffee maker. I also accidentally put the decaf on a shelf that I could not reach last time I was reorganizing because the canister is not as cute as the caramel one is. I accidentally hurt my leg power walking with Peanut yesterday so obviously climbing the stool for the decaf was out of question even though my other leg is in perfectly good condition. So I accidentally brewed several cups of wonderfully smooth CAFFEINE coffee and accidentally drank 2 cups, enjoying every caramel flavored drop. Oh what a klutz I am.....right?

Little Pea is UG-LEEE

I am having a major skin allergy attack. I went to the doctor yesterday and he gave me some steroid meds. A cream that stings and some pills I haven't started taking yet because he said I could wait a couple days to see if I saw some improvement. I'm taking Zyrtec too. I took this pic yesterday at the Dr's office and still can't believe I'm actually going to post it. I might as well, ya'll saw all my other 'Pea is sick' pics so why should I deprive everyone the pleasure of feeling sorry for me this time too? I shouldn't. Notice how I made it small though. It's too gross for the large size. I'm actually much better today. The red and swelling have gone down but I have all those weird bumps that just look like I have really bad acne. It was the worst around my eyes. I'm pretty sure it's a reaction to the sun, sunscreen, and really strong soap I used on Wednesday because I was in a hurry. I also got stung by one of those mini-bees, a really angry one I should add. So the combination of all those things, plus the fact that it was really hot and there was some pollen in the pool made my skin really furious with me. I have some hives on my shoulders and belly too. But I don't itch. Just my eyes.

I have self-imposed a quarantine until Monday at least cuz I don't want to scare anyone. Plus the heat makes me feel worse. Hopefully I'll be presentable enough to make a public appearance in a couple days. Until then, the Pea is staying inside and out of the sun. Feel free to cringe. I'll probably take this picture down when I come to my senses so I suggest if you're thinking about printing this out for Halloween purposes, you better do it now. Enjoy your weekend guys. If you don't look like this picture then you're off to a head start already.....

Should I feel insulted?

I always bring a book with me when I go out by myself just in case I find myself having to wait for something or someone. Today on my way home from an art supply store Mr.Pea called and asked me to pick up some barbecue take out. After I gave my order, the guy who took it told me it would take about 15 minutes and pointed to the Starbucks on the other side of the parking lot. I said I would just wait on a bench and pointed at my book. He looked at me like I was an alien and said(incredulously I want to add),"You read?!"

I didn't say anything back since I don't know what kind of response that question called for.

I guess I should change my name from MsLittle Pea to Ms Inappropriate

Something strange happened. Yesterday a lady around my age came up to me at the library and told me I was dressed inappropriately. That I should have more respect for the library and her kids and cover up. She was pretty angry. I was so taken aback and frankly weirded out by how angry she was at me, all I could think of to say was,"Oh, I'm sorry." I went into the bathroom to check if anything was sticking out, fell out, or if my underwear was showing. I even took a picture so I could get a second opinion later. I've never met or seen this woman in my life. So all I can think of is maybe she was on some medication or needed some. Now tell me, does this look like someone who has no respect for public libraries?(please excuse the smartass smirk, I couldn't help it)
The only thing I can think of that maybe was offensive about my clothes were my brown flipflops. Flipflops are a little too casual, but hello!? I live in Florida: the sloppy-dress capital of North America! It actually reminded me of the South West Airlines mini skirt incident. At least she got an apology. Actually I don't want an apology I want to NOT run into that crazy woman ever again.....

Kermit agrees. When I got home from my indecent library visit, I noticed him on the stairway rails. Isn't he cute? Hope he got a few bugs to eat when the porch light came on.(those are one of my blurry brown flipflops by the way :O) )

AND I just wanted to say that CrazyLibraryPatron did NOT ruin my library experience. I still enjoyed myself there despite the weird encounter. Oh, and if anyone agrees with CrazyLady, please let me know, I promise it won't hurt my feelings and I won't wear that outfit to the library ever again.(I'm being serious)

Oh readers

Have you ever fantasized about faking your own death just to get away from certain relatives? Because that is how I feel right now.

Please leave me a comment and tell me you have so I don't feel like an asshole for thinking such horrid thoughts. (all lurkers welcome too)