Thursday, August 14, 2008

Um. Ok. Again.

I've been trained by my Grandmother in the matter of social situations and small talk so I'm probably one of the most polite people you'll ever meet. I often find myself in conversations like this screaming with laughter on the inside but smiling sweetly on the outside.Remember this? I think I met one of her relatives at a party my husband talked me into going recently. He was pretty creepy and BTW staring at everyone's breasts.

Creepy: I live in -------.

Me: Really that's not far from me. I recently saw a piece on the news about the beach erosion there. Is that near you?

Creepy: No but I wish the county would do something about that.

Me: Well I think since it's a private beach, the county can't really do anything about it. It's a shame though, those homes are going to fall right into the sea, it looks like.

Creepy: Yeah. Nobody knows what hell's the problem over there.

Me: Well I wrote a theory about it once for a Marine Biology project when I was in college. Our class did some measuring in that area and given our findings, we came to believe it may be due to development and the jetties blocking the natural flow of sand from the North. It was a really interesting study.

Creepy:(loudly) NO! NO! NO! That's not it.

Me: Oh. ok.

Creepy: You couldn't be more wrong. You're totally wrong. That's not it.

Me: Oh. I wasn't saying that I knew for....

Creepy: Yeah you got it all wrong, you don't know what you're talking about.

Me: Oh.....um....are you an Oceanographer?

Creepy: No I don't even know what the hell an Oceanographer does.


(still expecting him to say he's in the field of someone with more knowledge about beach erosion)
Me: Oh what do you do?

Creepy:(sarcastically) I'm an accountant.

Me: Um. Ok.

6 comments:

super des said...

I would have said something about taxes ruining the beach or something.

marymurtz said...

Official BEST post ever! LOL!!!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

A moron and breast checker, too.

Too funny. Next time you run into him, if you do, tell him that accountants are ruining the beach and you wish the county would do something about it. First, though, position your large husband directly in front of him.

hele said...

Sigh. There should be a secret weapon that immediately allows one to wipe someone like that out. On. the. spot.

Courtney said...

Was this guy at least drunk? Please don't tell me someone sober could say things like that.

Angelique said...

I loathe people like this.
My response would have been something like:
Oohoohhh, so you're one of those know it all assholes I was just talking to my 6 foot 4 husband about yesterday!!