True or False

My dad once asked me(as all parents at one point ask their kids) if everyone jumped off a bridge would I do it too. Of course the answer was no, but since "everyone else does it" ,I'll do a true or false over here. Guess which ones are true and you win the right to be a smug smartass know-it-all for the rest of your life.

1. I once dated a pro-athlete. I saw on the news three months after we stopped seeing each other that his wife had filed for divorce. It is the shame of my life that I dated someone who I knew was married.

2. When I was in high school, I met the president and got in trouble for trying to pinch him on the bum. It was fun and totally worth it. I think he secretly enjoyed it and if you knew which one I was talking about(do the math I'm 30), you would think so too.

3. I accidentally exposed my 80something year old mother-in-law to internet porn. I thought it was a website about the village in France where her family was from. Her reaction was,"Oh thanks, Angel, it was really pretty," before I figured out the mistake.

4. I've been to the Bahamas more times than I can count. I have some friends who live there, so I can pretty much go whenever I want to. My husband and I are planning to live there when he retires(in 15-20 years). We dream about it together at least 50 times a week.

5. I once got caught shoplifting. I was 13 and I stole makeup at Kmart. My parents threatened to send me to live with my grandparents if I did it again. To this day I don't even shop at Kmart because I'm still embarrassed.

6. I lived in New Orleans during Mardi Gras and never went. I was too lazy and frankly not interested in seeing people make complete fools of themselves. I sort of regret it now. I would've enjoyed making a fool of myself in the French Quarter.

7. I kept a toad as a pet when I was 8. I named him Baby. He wasn't allowed in the house so he lived in a bucket on my patio. He escaped and I cried for 2 days. Looking back, I'm happy for him now.

8. The Bachelor is my favorite reality show. I consider myself a feminist, but dammit I can't help it. I like to laugh at people being pathetic and desperate no matter what sex they are, no apologies!



* I did them half&half- 4 are true and 4 false for those of us who mathematically challenged. One of these is a trick true or false. Any questions?