My dog Peanut: Merciless Killer, Shameless Beggar

We are harboring a soulless family member in this house. I've introduced you to him before. He's our Peanut and he leaves no lizard unmamed. We've tried to stop him, we've tried to reason with him, we've asked him to go to couseling but, alas ,we might have to give up trying to convince him. Please, lizards of the world, I offer my apologies. I'm not even sure if he even knows that he kills them dead. His hunting instincts are so strong within, he gets that scary shark frenzy look in his eyes, and....as his loving adopted mother I can only defend his ways by saying I think he might even 'blank out' for a few seconds....maybe there's hope for him.... maybe not. As part of forcing him to confront his demons and take responsibility for his actions I am compelled to share the disturbing secrets for the sake of his reform and repentance. Close your eyes, faint of heart....


Victim #1 appearred early one morning last weekend looking for lady bugs on my ivy plant. I stayed quiet so as not to alarm Peanut and bring out the dark side of my dog ...


...it was too late for this poor lizard .
If I scream, it just makes him even crazier but oh! How can I not?
You see, in his defense, he doesn't understand the concept of death and pleads not guilty by reason of mental immaturity. Do you see how he hovers over it waiting for it move so he can "play" with his new found friend?
He always thinks our goal is then to steal his new friend from him and can spend hours hovering over the poor thing guarding it then giving up and leaving the body on display for us to find right by the door hoping for the words he so loves to hear,"Wow Peanut! Good boy-you're the best hunter EVER!"
I'm so sorry lizard.



Victim #2 appeared in a similar fashion as Victim #1 only I didn't make it in time yet again to save his life. I heard a loud scratch...scratch... then a loud pop! Only to find this clue:
Where is the proprieter of this tail? In my dog's MOUTH! Gross!




He lurked over this one like Gollum would his ring....

Finally losing interest when he smelled hotdogs cooking in the kitchen leaving the body behind, forgotten in the dooryway yet again.

Tailless, bruised, lifeless--Peanut doesn't even have the capacity for enough mercy to bury the poor thing or at least place him gently to his rest in the toilet.

Do you think he would have at least a moment of silence?

Nope-
Five minutes later.....time to beg for hotdogs.

Begging for hotdogs SHAMELESSLY I should add.
MR.PEA wishes to remain anonymous as he had no part or knowledge of the alleged 'incident' that happenned on the balcony that fateful day. I DID NOT give Peanut any hotdogs because 1-I don't reward him for this behavior and 2-I don't eat hotdogs. But I can't say that MR.PEA did not give him any....


One would think he would perhaps be secretly horrified over his actions and lose sleep over his behavior.


Does this look like a guilty conscience to you? Nope this dog is completely satisfied with himself and his accomplishments and rewards himself for, what he considers, a job well done with a nap in the sun. A belly full of hotdogs and the knowledge that he has purged his territory of lizards, he is content. I have a feeling he may just be a sociopath...what do you think?




PS I'm not an idiot, I promise. For some reason spell check doesn't work for my computer as a popup so I do my best checking for mispells myself -but I can't get them all....if you think I'm an idiot because of the mispells I won't be mad at you. But Peanut might-so keep it to yourself, he'll find you, you've seen his work.

The A-hole family(chapter 1)

If you know me personally then you've probably heard me refer to some people as the asshole family as I like to give everyone their very own special nicnames and this one totally fits like a glove. If not and you'd like to know who the asshole family is have a seat honey. You see, a few years ago, my husband and I moved to a new area so that he could start a new job. We shared a 3 bedroom condo in a nice little development. There were five of us not including the pets-my husband, Peanut and me, a single guy training to be an airline pilot, and the asshole family which included The Asshole and The Asshole Wife. They also had a cute, sweet little Yorkie who I hate to include as a member of the asshole family and felt really sad about leaving behind when we moved out. Especially since I was the only who took care of her for the most part while we were there. If I could've stolen her-I would have. Technically, I should say they were our landlords since it was THEIR condo and we were basically just renting out one of the bedrooms but everyone had free roam over the house but I never really considered them landlords and even if they had not been our landlords I still would've thought they were assholes. I was providing free dogwalking and did most of the cleaning. Not because I was expected to mind you-I love animals and I don't necessarily like cleaning but I do like living in a clean environment. They were some of the messiest people on earth but I didn't pick up after them in any way it was like "paperwork" messiness that they left lying around. Anyway we'll get into that another time.
When I moved in, MR.PEA had already been living there for a couple of months and I had spent most of the winter with his family in Canada. Our plan was to stay in the condo for a couple months since the price was reasonable and it was a nice comfortable area, plus we wanted to make sure his new job was fairly secure. My first or second night there they offered to make dinner for me as a sort of welcome which I thought was nice. MR.PEA doesn't eat other people's food(to be blogged about at another time) so he joined us but ate his own food and I was happy that I didn't have to cook. We got into a conversation about cars and I mentioned that MR.PEA and I were considering buying a new car but I had reservations about the one were looking at because I couldn't drive a stick. I didn't want MR.PEA to teach me how because the last time he tried to teach me, it was a disaster(also to be blogged about later). The Asshole said,"I can teach you how I've taught a few people how and I'm a very patient teacher." The Asshole Wife was very enthusiastic and said how great and idea that was so we made arrangements to start the very next day.
Now I must point out that my husband had already gotten to know them before I had and told me later on that evening that I shouldn't take driving lessons from this guy because he was a jerk. I said,"oh I'm sure it'll be fine, they seem like decent people and anyway it would've been rude of me to say no, plus if you want this car I have to learn how to drive it or else we'll have to keep looking."
So the day of the lesson: it started out ok, I was slow to get into first gear without stalling but I was doing pretty good I thought. Now I won't specify the Asshole's ethnicity-he was European-that didn't have anything to do with him being an asshole but being half Asian myself and my husband is French and there are some characteristics we have because that's how we were raised and that can simply be explained by saying just that-I'm half Asian that's all. He had this sort of authoritative way of explaining things and had so little patience contrary to what he said. He kept sighing and rolling his eyes and belittling me every time I made a mistake. I admit I'm more sensitive than most but I don't expect people I've just met to behave that way. I started watching him from the side of my eyes because I started to suspect this man was crazy. I mean with the exception of the time my husband tried to teach me how, 3 years before that day, this was the first time I had ever driven a stick shift and I think I was doing pretty damn good. But this man was beginning to raise his voice and it was beginning to scare me. He kept repeating the same thing over and over: "You place your left foot over the clutch and with your right hand, ease into second gear." I said," Uh I have a question..." Him(interrupting in a louder voice),"NO, you don't ask questions, you place your left foot over the clutch and with your right hand, ease into second gear!"
This happened several times and of course I was getting irritated with him as I am an adult not accustomed to being yelled at as a means to learning how to do something new but I stuck with it simply for the sake of getting back home just so I could get away from this crazy person who the night before had been acting like a normal, charming, educated, SANE human being. Finally after about an hour of this 'abuse' I said you know what I'm done for now, you can drive us home. And said nothing more and just sort of looked at him like 'I mean it asshole!' This seemed to get him back into 'normal mode' and he said,"Great-you did great! same time tomorrow?"



Did I have a second lesson or did I tell this man to screw himself? Stay tuned for chapter 2 to find out.......



PS In case you were wondering-I am feeling a little better and still waiting to hear about when my scan is scheduled so I can find out of I need radioiodine again or not. Keeping our fingers crossed over here!!

I'm home yay!(sorry this is a damn novel)

I thought I would have to stay until at least Thursday but I was able to leave Wednesday, just a little over 24 hours from when I got there. So here's how it went:

I arrived at about 2pm and of course it took a little while to sign all the paperwork then they brought me to this room. If only I had thought about taking a picture of the view; a large concrete courtyard--no trees or even a random bird but I got the evening sun since it faced the west. I think that's bad Feng Shui though(not that I practice it I just read a book about it once). But I wasn't there to give decorating advice so I kept that to myself.

I noticed that everything I would be touching was covered in latex or paper. So as not to spread my radioactive germs. I did wonder why they didn't cover up the phone. I wanted so badly to get a quick pix of the faucet fixtures because they were covered in latex gloves too and I laughed everytime I went in there because they looked like they were giving the middle finger! My nurse came in though and told me to change into a gown. Don't you love how they call those things gowns? As if you're going to a gala or something?



Does this look like the face a brave person? I mean really! They brought in this thick metal pod about the size of a fist. They used tongs to carry it and inside was the radioiodine pill that they made my husband leave the room before they would even twist it open because of the radiation it contained and I'm expected to just swallow it without freaking out-thus the twisted face I'm making here. At least my gown matched the paint on the wall and had that sexy little cut out to accentuate my shoulders.

So we kissed goodbye and he left the room and we were told he wasn't allowed to visit. He could bring me food/toiletries if I wanted something and hand it to me from the doorway but we couldn't leave the door open for longer than a few seconds so visiting was out of the question.

Then I was given my mission. After swallowing the pill I had to wait for the Nuclear Guy, his name was Joe(but I called him the Nuclear Guy because it made me happy) and his job was to point a microphone shaped instrument at me and measure my number which would be 55 at the highest. I wasn't allowed to use the bathroom until after the first time he came. After he came and measured me and all around my room he told me that the number I'm aiming for in order to be safe enough to go home was 30. The best way to get there quickly was to drink a lot of liquids and pee a lot. Also to take at least two showers a day. I asked how long this usually takes he says most people take 2 days but every once in a while he'll get someone who can do it in one day. He said it's rare but possible; he'll does the rounds twice a day-beginning at 9am and again at 4:30pm. I said to watch me I'll get the f- out of here tomorow night. In my mind I thought to myself these people don't know me- all I drink is water, even when I'm not thirsty so my kidney and bladder team are extremely clean and superman fast, and shower twice day? huh.. I'll do 3-4 showers. He said, "It's been done. If I come in the afternoon and you're really close, we'll put in a call to wait an hour and check you again at 7 and if you're at a safe level, you get to go home." So I had a goal in that decrepid room. Well it wasn't decrepid but let's face it, it's a hospital room, not exactly the funnest(is that a word?) place to be.



Here's a pic of the outside of the door I wasn't allowed to open. There was girl in the room next to mine who was in for the same treatment as me and since it was Halloween she wore a prisoner costume which was pretty funny. I never got to speak to her though. I did hear her singing in the shower once. That night I didn't eat much because the food was pretty nasty-stuffed pork chops which, in actuality looked like a pork chop that someone puked on(apologies to the easily grossed out). I decided to eat the putrid green beans and some crackers that I brought on my own. I did take an extra shower and maybe around 11 began to feel pretty naseous. They told me it was a possible side affect along with slight cramps, sore salivary glands, dry mouth and fatigue. I fell asleep for probably an hour and then my nurse came in to check my temperature and pulse. I sort of had a mini-inner-panic moment when she came in because I was asleep and when I woke up I forgot where I was and why I was there and in she walks in full scrubs and a surgical mask and I guess so as not to scare me she stayed quiet for a second and just looked at me. The fact that it was Halloween didn't help. For a split second I thought maybe she was a serial killer who snuck into the hospital on Halloween night and decided to make me the first victim. Anyway she was actually very sweet. I slept pretty decent that night considering my paranoia and nausea that seemed to get worse as the hours passed-the nausea not the paranoia.

That morning they woke me up early and gave me some nasty eggs that looked like someone made scrambled but chewed up then spit out onto a plate for my convenience. I forced myself to eat the banana bread which was gross too. Since I knew the Nuclear Guy was coming soon-I had already been drinking tons of water. I even changed my sheets and of course showered. I asked him what my number was he said 42. So I spent the rest of the day drinking more water and Gatorade and tried very hard not to get grossed out by the grilled ham and cheese sandwich and wierd looking shredded carrot-raison-cream concoction. MR.Pea offered to to bring me something else but at that point I so did not want any food. I did tell him to bring me something for dinner for sure so I don't die of starvation in there. At about 4:15 I took another shower just to give myself a little bit of hope but I didn't really think it would work. I just do better when I have a goal. So our Nuclear Guy came in around 5:30 and measured my number, looked at me funny and says, "how much water have you been drinking?" I said, "altogether 7 bottles, 3 last night 4 since this moring plus that one big one of Gatorade, 2 apple juice, one Sierra mist, and one orange juice." He said," do you want to know what your number is?" I said,"of course" He said,"28.9" Music started in my head and I said,"I can leave!!!!Does that mean I can go now?" He said I had to wait for my paperwork to get signed and that I needed to call someone to bring me something to wear. Well MR.Pea was already halfway to the hospital with my sandwich and we live a half hour away so I told him I would call my parents and borrow something from my mom.

It took a long time because they got lost and this is the ensemble she brought me. It was like fifty sizes too big but like I cared, right? Check out the shoes. I don't even need to post a Friday fashion don't this week- just look at my size 7 1/2 shoes on my size 5 feet. I was so damn happy to leave that room. I mean honestly, it wasn't so bad-it's not like I was even in there that long I just hated not being at home in my own "stuff". But that's why I haven't posted until today. I've been trying to get over the nausea---I'm a little better today. I have a comfortable futon, squooshy blanket, mini dvd player set up going in the guest room and bath so as not to expose the husband and Peanut to my delta and gamma rays. But I can hang out in there with them as long as I stay 5 feet away like a damn untouchable so it's been ok. Peanut keeps trying to sneak in like a little thief and lay down on all the layers of blankets and pillows just because he's not allowed. Poor Peanut had to go to the vet himself yesterday for an infection and I feel bad that I can't really baby him as he's used to. But we've always had this cool connection and it's as if he KNOWs that I'm sick because he's been so gentle towards me since my surgery. He did steal my stuffed one eyed vampire ghost my husband bought me from Starbucks yesterday and "killed it". Theif.

So here's the deal: there's a possibility I'll have to do this again. And if that's still not successful I will have to have surgery again to remove the "suspicious looking tissue behind my collar bone". I won't know whether or not this one time was good enough to kill off the rest of the cancer cells until my body scan on the 13th at 7 f-ing 30 AM. I'm crossing my fingers but I don't want to get my hopes up because either way I'll cry but I'll get over it(no choice)-I had a rough time this week getting over the nausea(which I still have) and the swollen sore glands on the sides of my face and under my chin. The fatigue is do-able, I'm sort of just used to being tired all the time now. It's annoying but not painful. I'm just doing whatever my doctor tells me. If this was good enough I'll be considered cured and can start taking my thyroid hormones again and get back to my regular life.

--*sappy moment warning*---
I never started this blog to complain about cancer or ever thought I would ever ever even be sharing this part of my life with anyone. I thought I would have this cute little blog becaue I was the youngest of 4 siblings who thought everything I did or said was funny and cute and then married a beautiful, wonderful man who thinks everything I say and do is funny and cute and that I would just continue being funny and cute in the blogosphere(I just learned that word this year so I feel cool being able to use it) but it's been a sort of 'therapy' for me to just put it out there for whoever stopped by. There have been so many good wishes sent to my email by people I don't even know; a few of whom whose blogs I ENVY like there's no tomorow. So thanks guys for the well wishes and prayers and everything. I can't stress enough how much strength I store up from all the "good lucks". I am totally humbled and have a better appreciation and understanding of what it's like to be in someone else's shoes. Like I said before this could be worse-and for that I'm SOOOO thankful. I get irritated when people cry when I talk about what's been going on because I don't like being in the position of having to be consoling to other people about all this(I'm selfish that way-but so what that's how I deal with it) or being looked at with pity,that's the last thing I need right now ya know? But I understand, you what though? I say DO NOT GET OUT THE TISSUE BOX FOR ME EVER-leave it where it is. I ain't goin' nowhere. I'm staying right here. This isn't even the killer that heart disease, breast cancer, leukemia, aids, and 100s other health problems are. But it's put me on my ass for a minute and now I'm getting up and taking my gloves off. I mean believe me I do have those moments where I'm scared and sad and maybe feel a little sorry for myself about what I'm going through but it's all such a waste of energy and much more fun to be able to say Fuck thyroid cancer, bring it on.

So here's what's up

Tomorow I go in for my radioiodine. I'm not exactly sure how long I'll have to stay in the hospital but I'm guessing 3 days. I really would rather just be at home but, I'll do my best not to lose my sanity there and my Mr.Pea will be with me as the hospital allows and of course on hand to take care of our Peanut(the merciless lizard killer).

I hope everyone has a safe and Happy Halloween. I'll be back as soon as I can and hopefully be able to say that I'm cancerfree. Let's keep our fingers crossed and have faith that this truly is the begining of the end for my experience with cancer. I'm actually extremely lucky. This could have been a lot worse. People have been saying from the begining that if they HAD to choose what kind of cancer to have it would be thyroid cancer because it really is a successful treatment and I sort of got sick of hearing it. But it's true. Things haven't gone exactly as my doctors have said they would and of course because it's me there were some pretty bad complications and all kinds of puddles I had to step in. But I'm learning a lot about myself and about being strong, about sticking up for myself and saying what I feel without fear. I said to my Aunt that there is an enemy inside my body and my body is at war. Well it's NOT going to win I am. Whatever happens. This is just a small part of my experience here and you know what? It's not even half as bad as what so many other people have to go through-especially those who have worse health(and less insurance coverage if at all)and I'm actually thankful for this if you can believe that. Because although I am a spoiled little brat, I'm not someone who has ever really taken how lucky I am for granted and because of this, as long as I remember this and every other hardship I've had to get through in my life(which,frankly, really isn't much thankfully), I never will.


See ya'll soon!


PS I hope ya'll don't think I was being mean making fun of the "goth" look. Actually I sort of envy the individuality of it all.

Friday Fashion don'ts #2

Ok ok-we get it. You guys are dark and mysterious. Misunderstood, Sad and deep. Macabre, creatures of the night.....

Message from Peanut

"My mom is not feeling well this week. I stalked, hunted, and killed 3 lizards in the past 4 days. Two on the balcony, one on the second floor stairs. I left the dead bodies by the door so she could see them and be proud of me but it just grossed her out.(She's very difficult to please) My favorite show is Pet Superstar Challenge, I could kick everyone's ass on that show."

Friday Fashion don'ts

Ok Ok I know it's Saturday. But I had planned to blog this yesterday and got too lazy. Friday just sounds better and I was hoping to make this a weekly thing if I could. Or at least something I could post only on Fridays. So just humor me for today and pretend like it's Friday ok......what with all the drinking ya'll probably did last night, the none of you probably even remember what today is anyway so there! So for the first Friday Fashion Don'ts(on Saturday) are these-I only have a couple but trust me-there are a lot and if any of you find some on your own feel free to email me and I'll put them up next Friday(or Saturday-whatever)

Ladies, there will never be a time when these monstrosities would be required. But I'm sure I didn't have to tell you that. Also feel free to send in pictures of the looks of horror on your face upon being confronted with these, um , shoes. I guess they're shoes. If you feel like you haven't seen enough I am not one to deprive you here you go, have at it. : http://www.uglydress.com/


Ok I know there's no need for my comments on this but I've seen some men wear this kind of stuff....ON Documentaries about pimps. Unless you actually are a pimp, perhaps, fellows, this wouldn't be a good choice for a shirt. If you ARE a pimp, well, by all means have at it. You can buy your pimp uniforms here www.pimpcostumes.com Although I have to say---why all those strange outfits? Don't business men want to dress for success? Why do pimps like to wear outfits that make them look like Little Red Ridinghood?

Hmmm, something to ponder or perhaps make smalltalk about next time you're at a dinner party and need to break the ice.

That's all I have the energy for right now....



PS.When was the last time you heard someone under 80 say "fellows"? Well good then.

Crack is whack

What's wrong with this picture?

So far looks nice right? Everyone's smiling, beautiful day, hair looks good, looks nice enough to put into a frame right? WRONG! Take a closer look.



Why oh why did this man think that we all wanted to see his behind? Doesn't his wife love him? If she did she would have said to him, "Honey pull your shorts up so you don't walk around the beach showing everyone your ass." She doesn't love him, that's the only reason I can come up with for why every time anyone looks at this picture they're forced to see this man's booty. And no I'm not offended and this picture's not ruined I do know how to crop ok.....


I just thought everyone should know this is a man whose wife doesn't love him. That's all.







PS Unless she thinks it's pretty hot and wanted to share it with the world--in that case I can forgive, butt(haha I'm so damn clever), I respectfully disagree.

Aw Man!

Apparently I'm going to hell. I wish I'da known before...ya'll shoulda told me. Dammit, don't ya'll care about me at all? I'm not a teen though so maybe he's not talking about me. I mean I don't even have a myspace. What should I do?
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Yesterday and today

Yesterday was beautiful and for the first time since my surgery I was feeling good enough to lay by the pool for a while. I made friends with a begging squirrel but my phone doesn't take good pictures so I didn't get a good pic of her, I'll try again tomorow. Here are some of the pool all to myself and a view of the gold course. (No I don't play golf-I don't like the clothes and shoes so that's a no if anyone asks me if I want to try-for now) All of you who live where it's already cold feel free to be a little jealous.








































I already told everyone about my trip to the doctor today but for blogging sake---basically I'm healing well, my scar looks good, I'll be going in for radioiodine as soon as they can fit me in. Hoping to hear from them by the end of the week. More news on that as I get it. Here I am again waiting for my surgeon in the exam room.



So today was pretty uneventful except for my appointment and as I endlessly complained about before(and will continue to) I get fatigued easily so I pretty much layed around and even caught some zzz's when I got home. With our Peanut, who kept stealing my spot as usual. Um that's it for today, I'll have some funny pix up soon, I'm still trying to get the hang of this here blog. It's still a newborn baby blog ya'll so just a little more patience k?

Come on!

Are they serious? Is is this truly our image of beauty? This poor girl looks like she's on the verge of death. I probably weigh the same as she does so no one better accuse me of being jealous ok! But I'm 4'11" OK? I'm sure she's a lovely woman but this is ridiculous! OK?! Come on people stop giving us this wierd stuff. I don't know who the "people" is(or is it better grammar to say 'are'-let me know, I welcome the correction) that I'm bitching about I just don't understand why we need to deform our bodies-men and women for the sake of looking like models. If this is the goal, looking like you haven't slept in years and have only been eating paper since birth, ok, count me out. This isn't sexy.....is it? If it is then Marilyn Monroe must be a hog girl.


I'm in a surrrly mood can ya tell? Actually I'm not even surly I'm in disbelief, shock, dismay, confusion, dumbfounded, miscomprehension(is that a word?-well if not it is for now), creeped out. I think creeped out is the best way to put it. Not by the model, it's not her fault. I bet she's beautiful when she's healthy like everyone else, I just feel sorry for her my golly. What happenned? I shouldn't even be shocked, I mean, this isn't the first time I've ever seen an underweight person. I think I have the same reaction when I see someone who is morbidly obese but this is suppossed to be our image of beauty, our goal, dissappoints me....good lord!

Hey, I try to stay trim and fit myself but my number one priorty when I hit the treadmill is health, strength, endurance then looking nice will come with it. It's a good thing I don't have kids yet-how the hell do you explain something like that? To me this is more shocking than Janet Jackson's boob flying out on a Sunday evening--but maybe that's just me. Hey feel free to opine to the contrary but you'll never convince moi!

Time for something other than f-ing depressing cancer stories

Look what I found--sorry to whoever found it first but I still don't know how to link yet but I'll figure out how then try again later.....



heehee!



PS I feel like crap today... in case you really did want to continue feeling sorry for me.

Feeling a little bettter

I've been home now for two weeks. Everyday I feel a little stronger. My neck is healing slowly but nicely and I can tell there won't be too bad of a scar but it's still a little sore and my throat still hurts and especially to talk. I also haven't gotten my voice back all the way. Maybe it will come back in the next few weeks or maybe not but I'm hopeful. I have been able to walk around a lot more and take Peanut for some short walks here and there. Tomorow I begin the radio-iodine process so keep me in your thoughts. It should only last just this week unless they find more cells but my doctor is optimistic that I'll only need just this one treatment. After that I'll have to take thyroid hormone for the rest of my life which is fine since I was taking it everyday before all this happenned. I can tell that my thyroid hormone levels are super low because even though I'm still recovering, I feel tired all the time, my face is always a little swollen, my eyes a little puffy, my skin dull and dry, and my metabolism is slow-slow-slow. I'm sure I've gained some weight which I probably needed anyway because I lost a lot of weight just from being in the hospital and barely eating much for all that time. But I'm not too concerend about the weight gain right now. I might get real concerned if it still continues after I start the thyroid hormones again-because I refuse to be one of those people who just lets myself go and then blames it on thyroid problems. I'm not afraid of excersize, in fact, I truly believe that the fact that I was in such good shape before all this happenned kept me from having an even worse experience than I did(if that is even possible). So if I end up gaining 10-15 pounds, I can take that off by the the holidays- no problem. But I don't eat like a glutton anyway and excersize is naturally a big part of my life so I'll worry about that later.

Peanut's surgery also went smoothly so far although they did find another problem that hopefully can be healed with steroids and strong antibiotics. I can already tell that the steroids have improved his athletic ability because last night he did a triple jump move right over me as I was sleeping--scared the shit out of me but he had perfect form!

No pictures today because I'm too lazy.

What the H-!!

Yes I am still alive my peeps....I will not go into the details right now but just you believe me buster it was not an easy week for moi. There were all kinds of complications and difficulties. But I'm back--I'm getting stronger day by day. But don't be finished feeling sorry for me because I'm not finished with my suffering. Here are some pix that my Mr.Pea took while I was in the hosssspittal just in case you were about to forget that you felt sorry for me to renew your pity:

This was right after the surgery. It was suppossed to take 2 hours but ended up taking 7! My doctor told me he had a hell of a time getting that MF out! It was a monster cancerous thyroid that decided to engulf that entire area and grow around all my breathing and voice parrrts.

I wasn't feeling very happy here.....






Here I am the morning after-as you can tell I look swollen. But not bad for someone who felt like they'd been stabbed in the neck then dragged around on a rope by a bus.










That night-I was able to talk but not very well. I ate alot of ICE that day and still needed extra oxygen. My chest was heavy and swollen. I have to admit I was feeling a little bitchy....well wouldn't you?










Day two in the hospital-I had sort of psychotic episode that morning....they gave me some Xanax and here is the result. If you had to sleep in that torture device they call a bed only to get a half hour of sleep per night, have your already painful IV stepped on, wake up in the middle of the night naseous and with chest pain and difficulty breathing only to have the nurses disbelieve you and leave the room then spend the next 20 minutes throwing up so that they finally beleive you, been given pain meds that makes you itchy all over, have an idiot nurse's aid take your blood pressure on the same arm as your painful IV and hold the thermomter 10 inches from your mouth then complain that she can't get a temperature reading because she's too f-lazy to do it right so you have to strain your SWOLLEN HURTING NECK to take your temperature-you would have a psychotic episode as well. I sat in the recliner in my room propped up with pillows and slept way better than in the 14,00 dollar bed they charge 15,000 dollars a night to lay in.

Luckily I got to go home that night or else I might have stabbed someone.
I'm getting better and looking forward to getting back to life. I'll keep ya'll updated on the rest!




PS Poor Peanut needs surgery again......

OH NO I didn't!!

I did not forget to wish Dr.Nope Happy Birthday! I didn't, I swear!
(Click on the pix if it's too hard to read)

Lucky 7th

Welp, guys, my surgery is scheduled for Sept 7. Why not sooner? Because I wanted to relax and have some fun this weekend before I'm all stuck in bed with a swollen neck feeling sorry for myself that's why. I can't really describe how I've been feeling about this whole thing. No one can ever truly understand what it's like to hear a doctor say, you have a tumor and it's cancer. My first reaction is usually to cry and roll into the fetal position like a roly-poly. But, the people pleaser that I am, I did my best to keep a brave face and when she said to me, do you need to ask me anything, are you feeling ok? I said, I'm ok, and looked at my husband because at that very moment if I didn't keep his gaze I might have just fallen off the face of the Earth. No matter how successful people tell you treatment for this kind of cancer is, I will not even begin to write down the kind of thoughts that run through my mind every 5 minutes. So since last week I've been having these mini panic attacks, crying fits, moments of calm, to true moments of feeling brave and ready, and then for five minutes I not think of it at all until I remember that I'm scared. While I was sitting in that room today waiting to meet my surgeon, I felt this crazy-overwhelming urge to run out the door. I don't like the fact that someone else is going to be in control of what is going to happen to me. But now that I know there's really nothing I can do except trust and hope, I let myself feel depressed for a couple hours, I let myself cry, and now I'm ready to stop being a baby and start doing myself a favor by thinking positive. I can't promise I'll feel the same way tomorow but for now that's how I feel. I'll do my best.

PS Ya'll should have heard some of the questions I was asking my surgeon....those of you who have had surgery will laugh but I'm telling you, not only am I a spoiled brat but I'm also extremely paranoid and have probably seen way too many scary and sci fi movies. So here are a few: Um...am I going to go into a coma or something like that, I mean, how does this whole anasthesia thing work? So...am I going to really be unconscience or will I be like in some sort of zombie like state where I can see and feel everything but powerless to do or say anything? Hey--what is this cardiac arrest risk paragraph mean, am I going to have a heart attack or something like that? Am I going to have one of those frankenstein scars after?
And anyway why would I have anything to fear when I've been blessed by the future pope? Check out those hands, they contain healing powers I know it.

Just admit it already!!!!

A couple weeks ago I was walking with Peanut(as always) near the entrance of our neighborhood. This guy in a yellow jeep(yes yellow) was entering through the gate and I could hear that he had Kelly Clarkson full blast on the stereo. As soon as he saw us he quickly switched to an old Pearl Jam song. In my mind I was like-uh ah too late I already know that you totally love Kelly Clarkson. Just own it, man, play it proudly. I'm not going to laugh. I feel like that fact that he was embarrassed about his own music choice is more pathedic than the fact the he drives a yellow jeep(on purpose) and listens to Kelly Clarkson at full blast. I happen to like Kelly Clarkson, by the way, so why would I make fun?



PS My appointment with my surgeon is on Tuesday so I'll know then when I can start kicking cancer's ass.

The C-word

The scary one not the dirty one-you filthy mind you!

Well it appears this post will be a more serious one. Last week I had a biopsy done on the lump on my once beautiful neck. Everyone in my life already knows that last year I was diagnosed with a slow thyroid and have been taking meds to correct it. Well it never corrected, that is, it never shrunk back to normal. This past February I had a couple ultrasounds done and then I saw a gland specialist who did all the inspecting and poking and had me turn my neck this way and that way,looked over my ultrasound results and sent me for bloodwork(it was the 4th or 5th time I had to get bloodwork done in the past 4 months). He then basically told me that it was fine, keep taking my meds, everything is ok. I never felt right about it. I kept telling my husband and everyone else that I just felt like he(the doctor) wasn't taking me very seriously. My reasons were circumstantial(I mean forgive me doctor, I'm not the expert you are!) I kept saying ,"oh he's used to seeing people who are severely overweight and have serious metabolic problems or life altering diabetes and here walks in this girl(meaning me) at 100 pounds, tan and healthy looking with just a small bump on her neck whose complaining about being tired and vain about the way her neck looks." So he just upped my dosage of Synthroid(the meds) and sent me on my way with some reassurance that in a couple months it should be back to normal. After the bloodwork(which was also to check out some other REALLY STRANGE symptoms I had) was done I waited a week to get a phone call from his office and the call never came so I assumed as everyone does that no news is good news. But I still never got over the feeling that I just felt like that doc was not taking my problem as seriously as should be. But i did as I was told and waited. And waited. And waited. So before I went to visit Neenee I scheduled an appointment with a new endocrinologist because I wanted to be sure that I wasn't just being a brat. I also wanted to make sure she was a woman, not that I have anything against male doctors, but, I wanted someone who would understand my body image issuse that this lump has brought about. She examined, probed, poked, hit me in the knee, all that stuff and said we should do a biopsy. I said,"What! What is that? " She explained the procedure and I eventually allowed them to stick needles into my neck at the same time performing an ultrasound. It was definitely not a fun experience especially since I hate needles and am scared to death of them. But it's a good thing I found this doctor. Yesterday was my follw up appointment and she told me that I have Thyroid Carcinoma which is a rare kind of thyroid CANCER. The word echoed in my head and everything she said to me after that and all she explained to me was just noises and sounds. She did say that it's not the scary kind of cancer and the success rate for the sort of treatment I need is 99.05% so I shouldn't be too afraid. She gave me some information to read and her cell phone number in case I was confused later on and told me she wants my thyroid removed right away.
So now I have to have surgery to remove my thyroid and although I always knew that surgery would one day be a posibility, I'm scared. I have my first appointment with a surgeon on Teusday and then I'll know for sure what day. The weird part is, always the people pleaser, I find myself consoling everyone else and having to say," don't worry I'll be ok." But frankly I don't like having to put on a brave face because I don't feel very brave. Mr. Pea came with me luckily so I didn't have to drive myself home. But I had to run to the ladies room when it was over just so I could breathe. I know that most likely everything will be successful and that I really will be ok. But the whole thing is SCARY. I've never had surgery before and definitely never had cancer before!
I am so THANKFUL that I listened to my gut and got a new Endocrinologist! I promise myself that I will never ignore my gut feeling EVER AGAIN.


PS Peanut is feeling better by the way. He had his follow up appointment yesterday and everything looked good.

No pix today

Why?? Because I'm too lazy and it's a beautiful day. Peanut came home on Friday morning and his surgery wound was left open for healing-gross. He slept all day but by Saturday he was back to normal. I can tell that he's feeling better since he's already stalked and killed a lizard, picked a fight with a water snake, and tried to steal a corn muffin from MrPea's lap(I have to get a better nicname for my hub than that-I'm open to suggestion ya'll). He has a follow up appointment tomorow but I'm sure he's just fine.
I really have no other news for now, my groupies. Well I do, but for now I gotta keep it zipped.....those of you in the know will understand when I get over my laziness and finally upload some pictures that were taken during my trip to Neenee's house. Anyway I'll have some better posts coming up very soon I promise..... Here are some upcoming titles with not so subtle hints-"A Creepy Man Scared me at the pool last week", "I gave someone the evil eye and I don't feel the least bit guilty", "Random Insensitive Things I've had people say to me","Random insenesitive things I've caught myself saying to people","Topics only my husband is allowed to talk to me about", "Occupations,Errands,Duties I wasn't born on this Earth to perform", and more.....

I have some more in the works and also some great pictures coming up-don't abandon me yet, forgive my laziness. Would it make you feel sorry for me if I said I'd been a little bit sick? No? It was worth a try.

Peanut update

Peanut wasn't allowed to come home today :o( His doctor says he's doing fine but for recovery reasons and safety, he has to spend one more night. I was told he is really unhappy about having to stay in a kennel but I'm not surprised. This is a dog who has free range of this house and an expensive chair we have yet to sit in because he claimed it as his "living room bed" the moment it was brought into the house so I expected him to be a difficult patient. What can I say-he's the king in this house. Honestly it's pretty sad being in here without his face. Frankly it's pretty depressing. Anyone who's right now thinking,"get over it, it's just a dog" can might as well just not ever visit this blog ever again because people who don't understand how much we pet owners love our animal family members either have never had/loved a pet before or are emotionally limited ___________(bleeps). I think the latter is actually more accurate because I've seen a lot of people who do have pets but don't treat them like family members and frankly I don't see what the point in even having one would be in that case.......

Anyway so that's our Peanut update, other than that everything else is going ok. Well.....I'm sad too that Neenee had to go home(and so is she) but she's keeping her chin up.

Old man Peanut

Peanut is having surgery today....he is not well. Update TBA when we get him home. The last time he had surgery, Mittens was on hand to nurse him back to health:
This house is too quiet without our Peanut. Think happy thoughts about our Peanut today....

PS Have ya'll been introduced to Mittens yet? He's only the best cat in the whole world...and universe.

Peanut fix

Because I know you've been craving one.....
A little fact about our Peanut. I've already told you he's a fearless hunter. The only thing in the whole world that scares him is thunder. But don't tell him I told you.

PS I'm busy/lazy this week because Neenee and her kids are here.

I'm home!

I just got home from my weekend at Neenee's house. I have some more pix to share but I'm too exhausted to think about it right now. Here's the chub-a-lub who we've been calling Padre because he likes to make hand blessing gestures. What a good baby.....

So here we are: the scorned woman(hell hath no fury), the future pope, and the godmother. Bow down....

Cookies anyone?

I made peanut butter cookies last night......you can guess how these turned out. Even the garbage disposal didn't want them. It's so not my fault because I totally followed the directions and the directions said bake 7-9 minutes. Plus see how how they look normal on the top and charcoal on the bottom? yumyum. The second batch came out ok. Know why? Because I followed my own damn directions and baked them for 6 minutes.

PS I don't even eat cookies anyway. I hate cookies.

I got tagged

by my cousin in an email so I thought I would respond here instead of passing it on....

Things you may not have known about me.....

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1 Clothing salesgirl(they sold hoochie mama stuff)
2 Bikini salesgirl at a surf shop
3 Chocolatier and casheir at an overpriced candy store
4 Hostess at a resteraunt

B) Four movies you would watch over and over:
1 A Very Long Engagement
2 Amelie
3 Lost in Translation
4 Castaway

C) Four places you have lived:
1 Sunny Vale, Ca
2 New Orleans,La
3 Hollywood,Fl(not Ca)
4 Boca Raton, Fl


D) Four TV shows you love to watch:
1Lost
2 Survivorman(also regular Survivor)
3 Anything on Animal Planet, Discovery,National Geographic,History,Science channels
4 Judge Judy



E) Four places you have been on vacation:
1 South Beach Miami(back when it was still cool-before it turned into another version of spring break Daytona fest)
2 Montreal and Quebec City Canada
3 Las Vegas
4 London, England-it wasn't really a vacation-it was a nightmare-the people were nice though


F) Four Websites you visit daily:
1 cnn/other news
2 my favorite blogs
3 daily kos
4 everything else...

G) Four of my favorite foods:
1 chile con queso with homemade tortillas
2 Quesadillas with green salsa
3 chimichangas
4 japanese and korean style barbeque


H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1 shopping in Boca Raton
2 shopping in Montreal
3 Waikiki Beach
4 The Louvre(minus the crowd)

I) Four Favorite Desserts
1 Strawberry shortcake
2 chocolate
3
4 ......that's it, luckily, I don't really like sweets that much

J) Four friends I think will respond:
1No One
2 Nobody
3Not a damn soul
4 ne personne


K) Four favorite songs
1 Indian Summer-The Doors
2 Iron Lion Zion-Bob Marley(everything by him)
3 Shake your Booty-Kc and the Sunshine Band was my favorite when I was like 3)
4 everything else

L) Four Favorite Things to Do
1 walk Peanut all over the place
2 riding my bike to the secret beach
3 painting
4 shopping

M) What other occupation would you choose?
1 Spy
2Umm
3 Err
4 I can't think of anything else

N.) List four things in your purse
1 lipgloss
2 hand fan
3 sunglasses
4 wallet

O.) Four books that you'd read (or already have read) again.
1 Mists of Avalon
2 I Know This Much is True
3 Life with Picasso
4 all of my books by Margeret Atwood


I haven't been posting cuz', well, honestly I couldn't think of anything witty to say(the pressure,the pressure) and I need to scan some more pictures of Peanut since that's what's getting the best responses. Our f- car air conditioner broke last week, take a 5 second moment of silence to feel sorry for me since I had to drive a half hour in the hot damn heat to drop it off......ok that was good enough-I feel validated and cared about now. It's fixed now-THANK YOU- THANK YOU- THANK YOU air conditioner fixing people. Anyway, I'm off to visit Neenee for the weekend on Friday. I'll be back with lots of baby pictures of her chub-a-lub and the ass kicking ninja and Dr.Nope. If you don't know who I'm talking about right now, you'll find out when I get back. Oh you're not interested in pictures of them? Too bad!