I promised you some oranges, but have some jelly too.

Because I'm just so nice like that. Sharing is caring, ya'll know that.

So here is my finished drawing in it's new frame. It's kind of lopsided as you can probably notice because when I was cutting the paper I wanted to use to make a matte frame with, I used the wrong measurements...oh you should have seen the temper tantrum that ensued. But I'm not about to spend the time to make a new one to frame it in so here you go. I'm the only one who needs to be bothered by it anyway since it's new home is in my kitchen. I also never intended to get a green frame but, hey it was $7.99!

And I know you're just dying for some jelly so here you go, peeps. Dead jellyfish seems to be a recurring theme over here so I didn't want to break with the tradition last week when I came upon this one. I thought to myself, where are the tentacles? Does this one not have any? ooh I gotta take a picture for my blog!

A few feet away I found the "Medusa". Enjoy the jelly, my friends. I don't know when the next time will be. Oh ok, I'm sure it won't be that long.

Today was not so sunny. But foggy again in just the scary way I like. I couldn't stay longer than an hour though. It was windy and my sweater wasn't thick enough.

Just think about all the shark teeth there in that orange patch I probably missed out on because I was just too cold to really get a good look.....sigh.

Friday Round Up

I haven't been feeling well lately. I haven't been sleeping enough that's for sure. I'm sure that's why. But, even so, it's that time of year again. Well actually that time of year has past because for the millionth time, my doctor's office screwed up with my schedule and again my appointments are later than they were supposed to be. I'm not going to get into it because, it will put me in a bad mood so let's just stay on a positive note and I'll tell you guys that I was not a door mat about it this time. I was a squeaky wheel! So be proud of me, peeps. On the first week of February all my routine follow up cancer 'stuff' starts. I have to get these weird thyrogen injections to get me ready for a low dose radioactive iodine pill that will get me ready for a full body scan(sounds pretty sexy don't it?....it's not). The body scan day is a day of starvation again. It'll suck and I'll probably complain a lot so if you need to check out for that week, it won't hurt my feelings. I always do this stuff in the winter because I'm miserable in the winter anyway, so if I'm sick too then for some reason it's easier for me. I'd rather be sick and miserable in the winter than sick and stuck in the house in the spring and summer. Plus it makes the the winter time go faster for some reason because I have a goal. Are you laughing? I thought so. Welcome to my logic!

Last year's scan showed that there was still some bad tissues left over from the first time I had radiation so, as some of you may be loathe to remember(as I am), I ended up having to have radio-iodine treatment in the hospital again so I'm hoping this time will be a clean scan. My doctor says I should wait for two years of clean scans before I try to have a baby so I was hoping this year would count as year one.....But I won't cry this time around. What can I do, you know? Life isn't so bad for me as it is without a mini-me so I shouldn't get all depressed about it. It's not like being sad would speed up the process anyway. There was so much cancer the first time, I wouldn't be surprised if there was any left over. Or scared. Well maybe a little scared but not like before. And again, there's nothing to be afraid of, this is not the kind of cancer that is incurable, it's just a matter of not wanting to turn into a nuclear bomb because they can only give me so much radiation at a time and then wait for the tissues to disappear before checking to see if they got it all. I may be small but I've always been a scrappy little smurf. I'm not saying I don't complain like a pansy the whole time, but the gloves are always off when it comes to this stuff....

So that's that. On a more random note, ya'll, get this. I met a girl named Nefertiti yesterday. She was as beautiful as her name beholds. I said,"wow, is your mom into Egyptian history?" Her: "I don't know, do you know my mom?" I said," Well, because your name, you know." Her:"No, what about my name?" I said," You didn't know that you have the same name of an Egyptian queen? Are you joking with me?" Her,"I am? For real? How do you know this?" I said,"Doesn't everyone?" Her,"No, honestly I don't know what you're talking about, my grandma has the same name, we both call ourselves Neffie." I told her to look it up. She wasn't kidding, she didn't know and got really excited about it. I wasn't sure if I should be pissed off at how bad the schools are or surprised that i was the first one who noticed and said something. How in the world can you go 22 years with a name like that without *A*anyone telling you or *B* not learning that in basic highschool history?




AND! Check out one of my drawings I did with my new colored pencil that my MrPea gave me for Christmas. Not bad for not having used them in 15 years. I have to admit, I sort of cheated and used an art book to help me, but I didn't outline it and it wasn't a colored drawing, I just used the design as a guide. I bought the book to help me reaquaint myself with simple drawing because I've been painting and doing pottery but not so much drawing for so long and I missed the sign up deadline for classes. I took this with my cell phone so it's bad quality photo. Anyway, this is a little cutesy in comparison with what I like to do but it's not bad for a start. It's not finished here, obviously but I'll show you how it looks in it's frame when I get to it.

I've been waiting for this day for 8 long years

I don't have anything poignant to say, I'm not that kind of writer. Whenever I try, it comes out sounding either corny or negative. And I don't want to be negative on a day thousands of volunteers and I worked so hard to make happen.


But, it's a great day to be American.

(Youtube wouldn't let me post the official video. Everyone has already seen this video anyway)

Small piece of the past

My Grandfather was an aerial turret gunner in WW2. His plane was shot down by a Japanese fighter plane. He and 2 other men, the pilot and radioman, were MIA for I think 3 months. Their plane was shot down and they crashed at sea but survived. They floated at sea for a couple days and took refuge on Mono Island which is located in the Solomon islands. He had been shot in the leg and the natives helped hide them from the Japanese for all that time before they were able to escape to safety. Of course none of us grandkids knew any of this because he never spoke a word about this to anyone. All we knew was that he had been in a war and walked around with a bullet still in his leg. It was understood that we were not to ask about it for he didn't talk about it. I was only a little kid who's only exposure to the idea of war was on Tom and Jerry so I had no idea what any of that really meant anyway. And as I got older it wasn't something I wondered about because I was your typical narcissistic teen. I think he had been asked to speak at church and that was when he decided to share the story so that all the young people listening to him would understand that there is a higher plan for each of us. Even before any of this came to light, we had always looked up to him as our hero and thought of him as the strongest, biggest, bravest, defender from all bogeymen, Captain of all Heroes. I am not joking or exaggerating. Once, when I was 4 years old, we were spending the summer at my Grandparents' farm and we were playing in the barn. We had been told not to play in there but tell 4 kids on the most beautiful, magical farm in West Virginia where not to go and that's the first place you'll find them. We had only been in there for a few minutes when my oldest sister began screaming at a snake that I still think of as the biggest one in the wild I've ever seen. We ran back to the house and upon seeing my tears, my Papa asked what happened. We told him what we saw and ran to my Grandmother's ever outstretched arms and shut the sliding glass door tightly. A half Popsicle later, my Grandmother told us to look out the window. There was our Papa with that big snake, still alive and wrapped around his shoulders, showing us that we had nothing to fear. That's just one of many examples of why we all thought that he was The Man of Steel. This is a man who survived a plane crash hid on an enemy inhabited island in the Pacific during WW2, hunted down for three months and lived to escape and tell about it(but didn't). Whenever I'm scared, I tell myself,"That's who I am, that's where I'm from." There used to be a website that had all the details but it no longer exists.

One month ago I was doing some research because I was looking for that very website or any other that might mention his experience or anyone who knew him. I came upon a post on Military.com on the missing buddies message board looking for him. It was a woman who had gone to his high school some time after he did and inherited a letter that he wrote to his teacher shortly after their escape and she was hoping to share it with his family. I posted back that the very man she was looking for was my Grandfather and to please email me. About two weeks went by and no word. I got a little discouraged because it was posted in 2007 so I thought I'd never hear from her. Right around Christmas, I got impatient and was able to track down her email through Military.com to a highschool reunion website and sent off another note. This time I got a reply! So since then we have been emailing back and forth. She emailed me a picture but honestly I can't pick out my Grandpa in it, probably because I'm more familiar with his face as an older man. But I was happy to have it. I gave her my address and yesterday I received a large envelope with several copies of the letter for myself and the rest of my family and I can't express how happy I was to receive it! Reading it, I could almost hear my Papa's voice. I wrote her to thank her and told her that the loss of my Grandparents was something I've never quite gotten over and probably never will. But I feel like a small piece of my Grandfather arrived in the mail yesterday so for that I thanked her.

**update** My Aunt is going to send me a copy of his written account. I used to have a copy in my computer a long time ago but that one got a virus and my Papa died before he could email me another. So I'll finally have a written account from him of my own....

Flickr

Remember my little trip to St. Augustine? I posted my pictures on Flickr if anyone feels like checking them out.....

Oh heaven help me now

MrPea thought it was a good idea to buy a deep fryer. The home fries were good but good lord this is a dangerous thing for me to have in this house. Because I could eat fried chicken with gravy everyday, 3 times a day until I fall over from cardiovascular disease.....

Confession

I actually considered buying a scanner specifically so I could show you guys my 8th grade school picture. I used to have a printer that scanned, but after my last radiation-iodine treatment MrPea bought me a photo printer that doesn't scan and got rid of the old one. So I have to get a new one eventually. I just wanted you guys to see me in my big 80s bangs, with turquoise blue eyeliner and frosted pink lipstick. So yeah, that's my confession: I once had mall hair and wore blue eyeliner(even though I wasn't technically allowed to wear makeup.) Do with that info what you want and I can't have one of those cute little retrospective posts all the cool people already did. I guess it doesn't really though because I haven't offered up any proof. Still though, you gotta give a girl credit just for the admission, that was hard for me :O)




BTW I left a message at my doctor's office yesterday because I still haven't heard from them even though I was PROMISED everything would be taken care of at the first of this month. I'm supposed to have thyrogen injections(I hate that word) to get me ready for a small dose of radio-iodine(radioactive but not as radioactive as the actual radiation treatment) so that I can have a body scan. And this all has to be specifically timed one day after the other for four days so that everything comes out as accurate as possible. Because if they see any cancer tissue left over then I have to go off my med again and have radiation. I told my doctor at my last appointment that I would be happiest if we did ASAP so that I can get it over with quickly and that by Spring which for me is March, I will be feeling up and at 'em again. Because if I just let it go and not say anything, I'll be waiting until Feb and even then they'll call me the day before to tell me I start my appointment the next day. Even though I TOLD them and TOLD them and even made them write it on my chart that my husband and I share our car, he works 30 minutes away so they need to let me know in advance so that we can plan and he always wants to come with me. I'm not very happy because she reassured me that things would move quickly for me and more efficiently since I was so angry about their incompetent scheduling procedures last year. I don't expect special treatment I just expect human treatment and for people to do what they say they are going to do. You can guess whether or not they called me back or not right? I'm going to go down there Monday morning, politely of course. But at least they'll know I mean business.....That's what I mean guys, that's the kind of stuff you have to do when you are a patient and at some time or other we all are. I used to be so mousy and in so many ways I still am. But when it comes to my health and well being I really don't give a flying, er, cookie, if people like me or not anymore. That's probably the only positive that came out of having cancer but I'll take it.

On Joining New Clubs

Last night I went to a local political club meeting that I joined back when I first started volunteering for the Obama campaign. I only know a couple people because most of the people who I volunteered with weren't really members but were mainly hanging around because we all had a common goal. Now that the election is over, everyone's back to regular routine and I don't imagine I'll see any of those volunteers until next election. (I've already made a commitment to help out with the next Governor race so I hope I can get a few of them on the trail with me) I didn't go to our last meeting which was actually a Christmas Party because at the time I wasn't feeling well. So I imagine the couple people I did actually know didn't expect to see me back. I figured this out when everyone commented on my youth. I'm not a freshly hatched chickadee, I turned 32 last July but these people acted like I was some kind of toddler. I suppose they were shocked because I am the only routine member under 60 minus a handful of 40 and 50somethings. Their delight at a younger face makes me a little sad because it tells me that my peers didn't really get the message. We are on the eve of a huge celebration this January 20th. But when the confetti is swept away, were we all just expecting some kind of magic wand? Poof, the economy is fixed. Zap, everything's wonderful again. Obviously I'm not delusional or expecting any miracles but what happened to the euphoria and the yes we did and let's change this country, we were all feeling on November 5? Everyone said, oh I feel changed, I'm going to do more! Where the hell were they last night? I don't even want to hear busy, most of these people were independently wealthy enough to avoid the financial crisis going on and like me, have the freedom of time. I see their pictures in our local newspaper in the society sections. I guess this isn't glamorous enough..... Last year when I went to get a new driver liscence and reregister to vote, the man standing behind called me a Lexus Liberal. Well, his exact words were, "Yer, one-a-them Lexus Librulls, aintchuh?" I was dumbfounded and said,"I don't know what that is, I've never owned a Lexus." (I can't afford an effing Lexus!) He laughed at me. He was a jerk anyway but I never understood what he meant. I do now.

I think I was feeling down because the speakers who came to talk to us were from local homeless shelters, food banks and emergency residence aid workers. Listening to them speak, I thought about how the people who utilise these places are not nameless faceless people. One of my neighbors told me that recently, she lost her job as a nurse(A NURSE-I thought there was nationwide shortage of nurses?) and that if not for the local food bank, she and her husband, who works at a GROCERY STORE of all places, wouldn't have known what to do or where to go. And the thought of my own sister, who is recently divorced thousands of miles from any family, with three young children, now works 2 jobs and is having a difficult time making ends meet brings it even closer to home. Out of sight, out of mind no more.

I mentioned how disappointed I was at not seeing anyone from our campaign volunteer group to the only former canvassing partner of mine who showed. She said something to me that I'd heard before but this time it didn't sound like an "Oprah-ism." She said not to dwell on who's not here or what other people aren't doing. I should focus on what I would do, what we could do together. Even if it were the smallest of things, we can't save the world, that's impossible but we can find one thing we care about and do what we can. For some reason the one thing that struck me the most was the speaker from the food bank telling us that if we'd like to donate children's clothing not forget to buy underwear because they are really short on underwear. I said to myself, I gotta do something about that. We both made plans to get together and try to get a list of people we could call who wanted to chip in with us to buy some damn underwear at least twice a year. I didn't grow up anywhere near privilege, my dad was in the military. But my gosh we had underwear. I mean, I'm joking about it now but that really really bothered me.

On a lighter(spiritual) note I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the church I recently started attending after years of refusing to step foot in any church(minus once for my nephew's baptism), was deeply involved in the food bank and free clinic I was thinking about volunteering for. They are both only a couple miles away. I've been sort of contemplating whether or not I wanted to become permanent member because I have a lot of unpleasant personal feelings towards church and organised religion that I don't like talking about. (I grew up in a RELIGIOUS home and have always been spiritual but not religious anymore.) That sort of sealed it for me though. If I was slightly leaning towards this church before last night, I'm definitely leaning heavily now. We'll see....

Joy to the world!

I know-I know ya'll. Christmas is over. But that's what I feel like every time I put my new favorite shoes on! I even wore them to church yesterday.(yes I occasionally go to church internets...)They don't look very churchy but ask me if I care. And yes they are hard to walk in but I do fine in high heels anyway. I've been wearing them since I was 4and got caught walking around in my mom's shoes. Officially though she started letting me wear heels when I was in the fifth grade. It was probably a mistake. We had a talent show at school and my friend Ann and I were dancing in it. Because the size of the cafeteria was not large enough to accommodate the whole school, there were 3 shows. The first and second show went off without a hitch. The third show however, is filed in the mortification section of my brain. So there I was in my silver miniskirt that my mom had sewn for me. It was actually a leftover part of my Halloween Costume that I was recycling as my talent show costume since the song we were dancing to had sort of a space-like sound, as so many really bad 80s pop songs did. My little partner had borrowed my sister's exact match silver mini so we were thinking we looked so damn cute. I had on some suede pale grey kitten heel pumps lined with rhinestones that I swore I saw Madonna wearing. By the middle of the song, everything was going great. I look over at Ann and she nods at me because we are ready to do our jumps in unison. First jump I heard a rip. No it was not me, it was Ann. She ripped the silver mini! Not enough to really get embarrassed over but 5th grade girls get embarrassed easily. She had a frozen look on her face and I realized she's about to bail so I felt like I had to save the day. I did my jump by myself and to my horror, my shoe flies off my right foot. Suddenly Ann starts laughing really hard(when she's supposed to be dancing not laughing at me!!) and sort of pretends to move towards me so that I can pretend I need to move towards her but really it's because I need to dance to where my shoe landed so I can put it back on. No one laughed at us, it's likely they thought it was part of the show but I was mortified.....

These shoes definitely make up for any embarrassing moment I ever had. And by the way don't make fun of my second toe, I'm sensitive about it. Really. And don't start with me animal people-it's faux snake skin ok. I don't have a problem wearing the skins of animals that I eat but I don't eat snakes so I won't wear them.

And since I'm on the topic of Christmas gifts I thought I would share with ya'll the fruit of another gift from MrPea. I had to take it with my cell cam because I'm still having a problem uploading with my regular cam. It's been a long time since I've used colored pencils, 14 years to be exact, so I'm pretty much learning from scratch all over again. I used a book to help me with this one. I'm still painting here and there but not as much as before because my easel is in storage until we move and my desk is too small.....at least with colored pencils, the supplies are more portable and I can work anywhere.

I'm finally over my nasty Christmas cold and was able to go the beach yesterday. I really shouldn't be out there in that cold, wet ,sea air but I can't help it. My find was nothing to brag about so I didn't even bother to take a picture. I did see what I'm pretty sure were Right Whales. This would be the time of year for them show up. I know I didn't mistake them for dolphins because there were dolphins too. The Right Whales were further off shore than the dolphins. I could see black tail fins and V-shaped blows. It was the first time I ever saw whales before so I was really happy. The dolphins were grey and playing really close to the shore, I'm guessing because the water was calm and it's too cold for anyone to swim so they had the water all to themselves. Who the hell needs Sea World?(Sea World still makes me cry anyway)