When the table turns

I've had the most exhausting two days. My Mr.Pea may or may not have had a heart attack Saturday. We went to the hospital at 3AM yesterday when he woke me up because he was feeling chest pressure,pain in his left arm, and couldn't breathe. He's been there ever since and as anyone can imagine, I haven't had much sleep. They've been performing several tests and hopefully, we'll get some answers this evening. Actually every test they've given him has turned up healthy but with his family history and the symptoms, all arrows point in a direction I don't even want to think about. The words to describe how I feel right now don't exist.

I can handle and kick my cancer's ass. I can go to the hospital and put up with radiation, all those f-ing pills,and being poked and examined. But it's different when it's someone close to me with a possibility of having a worse condition. My husband. Who never gets sick. Who always has a better heart rate than me and I exercise everyday! Who surfs 7 hours straight no problem. Who never even sweats when it's 97 degrees outside. Never goes to the doctor, never even gets a damn stomach ache. Seeing him in a hospital gown and all those wires....I can't even finish that sentence.

He says he's ok and doesn't even feel bad anymore. Laughs at me when I start crying. Wants to come home. He's not even acting sick. Still though, it's been hard and I'm just trying to keep it together and stay positive.