Tuesday, August 07, 2007

One Weak Vacation

I've been extremely anxious lately, a good friend of mine suggested that I take a "mental vacation." The rules were: no phone calls longer than 2 minutes, no computer, no emailing, no watching the news longer than a few minutes, no disturbing tv, no worrying about other people(except Peanut), plenty of time taking care of yourself, comfort foods, favorite books and music, ice cream and sunshine. So I tried it. And I think it worked a little. Only now I feel bad that I didn't leave any notice, especially since I received some emails asking if I was ok. Sorry ya'll, I should have said something. I didn't think anyone would notice and by the time I thought of it, I would have been breaking the rules:O) I really had no choice, I was getting physically ill and just plain weak.

So here's what I learned:

A)I can ignore the phone and the person(s) with a problem on the other end will not 1.die, 2.hate me. Or if they do decide to hate me because I need a break from the phone I can 1.not care and 2. still live. Same applies to email. Anyone who would not understand this does not truly love me and why would I want someone like that in my life anyway? Right.

B)I am not responsible for anyone's actions/decisions but my own. I cannot change people nor do I want to. I don't need to be the 'rescuer' or the 'peacemaker' or the 'advocate' all the time. To even try would be impossible.

C)I've should not allow myself to have impossible expectations because those expectations were dependent upon the willingness of others to try and to help themselves.

D)My grandmother would have been proud of me no matter what.

E)I love my husband and my dog. They are the only ones in my life who love nothing more than for me to just be. They are the only ones in my life who don't always want or need something from me. If I want to sit all day and eat pecans and watch Dr.Phil, they are happy for me. Ok I didn't have to take a mental vacation just to learn that but it reminded me of how grateful I am for our little minifamily.


heartinsanfrancisco said...

This is lovely, and excellent advice for everyone.

Thank you for sharing, and the beauty of it is that you can always take yourself out of play for an hour at a time, like a kind of meditation.

I'm glad that everything is well with you, Peanuts, your husband and Dr. Phil.

MsLittlePea said...

I should have done that a long time ago :O)

super des said...

You're a smart girl. Write these conclusions down and keep them with you for when you need them again.

SUEB0B said...

Good for you.

thailandchani said...

Actually, I find periodic retreats to be useful. Sometimes even a weekend can help.

Good lessons learned.. yes, you get to decide where you expend your energy. Other people's drama doesn't need to be high on the list.

If you have gotten it that it is a choice, then you've learned a life lesson worth carrying.. permanently. :)



Mariposa Speaks said...

Wow, I think need to do what you just did...I also need a vacation, away from myself?! :D

Glad to know you are doing great...

Take care!

MsLittlePea said...

Des-great idea.


Chani-you are so spot on. I have to make a choice about what I let in and also what I give out because the two are connected. When I let in too much negative, I'm giving out negative too....

Mariposa-You should! You should! It does a lot of good. Even if it were just for a day or like Heartinsanfran says for one hour.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Those are all excellent insights! Now, can you keep them in mind as your return to, uh, “normal life.”

Whiskeymarie said...

Good for you- we're glad to have you when you're here- but you have a life too, my dear.
Hey! that was a little poem!

I too am contemplating a mini mental vacay next week.
Even blogging.
We'll see...

Maurey Pierce said...

Cheers to #9!!