I still get site reports from this blog even though I know longer post here. I just wanted to leave the links for where I am now:
I'm starting a new blog. I need a fresh start. This one's been great but the past few months have taken me away from blogging and every time I think of this one I feel like I don't want to blog anymore because it's been so long. I feel like I'm constantly excusing myself for not blogging often and every post is that way. And it's not even that I've run out of things to say I NEVER run out of things to say. This blog has been with me through the worst parts of my life and the idea of starting a new blog makes me a lot happier than trying to revive a beloved yet neglected one. A new blog that(hopefully) has nothing more to do with radiation, nausea, or surgeries. (At least for now) Does that make sense? It'll have to because that's all I've got.
Can you believe I'm still sick? Yep. I was taking a Zpack when I last posted and got better for whopping 3 days before I started to feel sick again. Those of you who get sick a lot(like me) know what that is. I hate taking antibiotics, in fact I really don't like taking any kind of medication. You know those prescription drug commercials that come on during the news? When they get to the part where they have to say what the side affects are, I nod my head. Because I am always in that 30% of people or that 10% or whatever number they mention that reported side effects in trial studies. Anyway, I started to feel sick again about a week after my last pill but I tried to ward it off by the magic of "denial". Didn't work. When I finally admitted to myself that I was sick again, I thought I would just weather through and try to fight it off on my own. I thought,"hey, I don't have to work and I don't have any kids to take care of. I can just rest, drink a lot and stay in the house and I'll be up and at 'em again by next week. That didn't work either. Finally when I was realizing that it was getting worse and the husband woke up one morning complaining of a nasty sore throat, I broke down and made an appointment for the both of us with my doctor. So we're both taking a ten day round of amoxicillan. I'm finally beginning to feel human again while poor MrPea is in the thick of it. I hate antibiotics. Not for any particular reason. It's actually the only kind of medication I can take and not be in the whatever percent of people who have side effects. I just hate taking them because it means I can't be out in the sun too much and then I can't go look for shark teeth. I can't do it anyway because, well, I'm sick , it's REALLY windy right now and the air is full of pollen but I need something to blame.
It wouldn't be a true winter if I didn't get some kind of illness to keep me company. Normally I wait until I feel like I'm on death's door before I call my doctor because I know the routine. He'll give a prescription for antibiotics and tell me to wait a couple days to see if I can fight it off on my own before I get it filled. This time he told me to go ahead and just take them because my ears and throat looked so bad. I haven't had a sore throat this severe since I had Scarlet Fever when I was 16. I didn't get any sleep last night because it hurt so bad(cue sad violin music). I didn't want t take anything stronger than Advil because I have routine bloodwork to be done next week and I don't want to ruin the results. After a three hour nap, I do feel a little better. Just tired.
MrPea loves to upgrade our electronics. We have houseful of gadgets that he loves. He recently bought a new laptop. I could never get as excited about a wireless this or that, no matter what the hell it can do, as much as I can get excited over a hot pair of shoes. I'm always complaining about the wires and get irritated when I have a hard time figuring out to use something.("Why doesn't anyone ever invent a gadget that you don't have to 'learn'?!? Why can't we just press the on button?!? I feel like I've just bought a new problem not a new tv! How many wires does a person need??!! " can be heard at any time of the day in our house)
Now having said that, MrPea, the technology addict also just bought himself a new BluRay Dvd thing that I'll admit is wonderful. It connects with the Netflix website and we can watch some of the movies immediately(using the new laptop). Oh the joy that is Netflix! We've been watching French movies all weekend which is good for both of us because he can watch all the stuff he's missed out on in his first language and Ican learn new words.
We go through the same routine when it comes to buying new stuff, and I've posted about this before but not in detail. Take the new laptop for example-- Since we've moved, our computer is downstairs. Our old place was much smaller and all one floor so the only room for a computer desk was in our bedroom. This worked out well because I go to sleep earlier than he does so we were still "together" even if I was sleeping and he was staying up watching tv, doing work or whatever. He wanted a laptop to bring upstairs so we could still be "together". But this is how he'll tell me he wants one:
Him: "Don't you think we should get you a laptop? It would be a good idea because then you could use it upstairs whenever you wanted."
~It always starts out being for ME even though he knows I have ZERO desire to add another electronic device to this house.~
I'll say: "Not really, what do I need one for when we already have one. It's just the 2 of us."
Him: "Well you know, it would be more convenient for you. What if I'm using this one and you need it?"
Me: "um..I could just wait."
Him: "Well, you wanted a Kindle I thought. It's almost the same thing."
Me: "Not really. And I don't really want a Kindle. OMIGOSH more wires? Are you kidding me, I'm already sick of all the wires around here. Like I want more."
Him: "So...you wouldn't love to have a nice new laptop? WIRELESS?"
Me:----- smiling in silence -----
Him: "I'm sure I heard you say you wanted one. I've been looking on Amazon so I could find one for you. I found a couple of nice ones. Let's go to Best Buy and check it out in person."
Me: " I don't want to go to Best Buy. I hate Best Buy."
Him: "I really think it would be good for you. And so convenient. You really don't want one? I think you do want one. I can get you one if you show me which one you like."
Me: "No. I promise I don't want a new one. But if you wanted one for yourself, just get one. Go for it, make yourself happy."
Him: "Maybe I should get you one anyway. Yeah, I might as well just go ahead and get one for you. You'll love it. You'll see."
So he bought one and he's as happy as happy can be with it while I have yet to touch it. It always goes this way. It always starts out being FOR ME when he knows I'd rather pull out all my hair than shop for any of that stuff. He's like a 3 year old who wants ice cream but won't just come out and say he wants ice cream. I'm not controlling, he doesn't need to come to me for permission to buy things and vice versa.
But if I don't go a long with it, I'll be in that same conversation at least twice a week. I think it's easier for him to justify spending the money if it's for me because in his mind, he would never deny me anything, I'm his wife. Buying something for himself is hard though. When I need a new pair of suede boots, if I have the money, I just go get them-- I don't pretend he needs them.... can you imagine that conversation?
Omigosh-NO joke, just now, from the kitchen he said, "Do you want a scooter? It would be so fun for you this summer."
MrPea and I went out for dinner tonight. We looked around and realized we were the only ones in the restaurant without white hair. (Welcome to Florida!) There was a table of women sitting near us and they were celebrating a birthday. She was 100.
The other night at my Book Club meeting, the conversation turned political. I got a little tense because there were about 15-20 people in the room so I was imagining the night would probably not end well. Luckily I was wrong. It was the first time I was ever in a room of people discussing politics with voices of disagreement that things didn't get ugly. There were very strong opinions and emotions but no disrespect. There was even a little teasing and giggling when the topic changed. (I realize this is a very boring paragraph but I had to write about it because) I was really shocked when it didn't turn into an "I hate you Festival." It was a conversation I wish we could all be having wherein each party had something intelligent and thoughtful to say instead of the name calling, finger pointing and accusations that seem to be popular(from both sides) right now. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about the fact that I was automatically expecting a huge fire.
Now I have to do a complete turn around and do the exact opposite of what I was so happy about the other night. I know I know I can't help it I just have to. So speaking of finger pointing I have to say something about Facebook. I was probably the last person on Earth to get a Facebook page. I never did Myspace for reasons that another post would explain. And so far I'm not too eager to get a Twitter account just yet because I'm not so sure that the every 5 minute details of my life are exciting enough. Nor do I feel the need to know what everyone else on the internets are doing every 5 minutes of their lives. (I'm open to the possibility though, just not right now.) However, last year my sister got on Facebook and after months of convincing, I finally broke down and got on myself. I don't really post very often. Mostly I like to see what everyone else is posting and I like looking at pictures of long lost friends and their kids. But lately I've been avoiding it because of how angry and puritanical certain old friends seem to be. I didn't get on so I could have someone else's politics and religion shoved in my face every 5 minutes. Tell me about your life, your kids, your accomplishments. If I want to know your beliefs, chances are I've already asked you. I had to hide a good friend's updates because it was so full of "Repent now- all you sinners will go to hell" posts, I felt like I was in a fire and brimstone, burn all the witches flashback. I love a good scripture verse or a thought provoking theological news article. But if I have memories AND pictures of you in a skimpy bikini shaking your ass at a Holiday Inn Spring Break "Shake What Your Momma Gave You" contest, I really don't want to hear how much better and holier you are than the rest of us heathens just because you go to church now. If you feel guilty about something, work it out on your own. I'm sure it's all part of the repenting and the posts about the devil but using the "devil took over and made me do it but now I'm a REAL Christian as apposed to you fake ones " is no excuse for thinking now it's ok judge everyone else. Think I'm being judgemental? Maybe I am, I'm not perfect. But I'd rather study and share my bible than shove it in some one's face. (Cue me stepping off my soapbox and kicking it)
These are all things I've never done. And it's highly likely that I will never do any of these things. If you think I need to change my mind, let me know.
-Worn hoop earrings, animal print, or pointy toed shoes. Not that there's really anything wrong with them. Just a matter of personal taste.
-Read any of the Harry Potter books or any of the movies. Actually no, I think I may have seen the first one but not the rest.
-Eaten sushi. I don't like seaweed, I've had that before so I will not eat anything wrapped in it. I also don't really like fish or raw fish.
-Been scuba diving. I've told you guys before how scared I am of even swimming in the ocean because of sharks. And I grew up on the beach. But if I am finding their teeth, it means they are losing them and growing them. I'd like to not have any of those teeth embedded into my thigh thank you very much.
-Been to Antarctica. This is self explanatory.
-Seen a moose in the wild. This one I'd like to change. I'd really like to see a moose in the wild. Don't ask me why, I just would. But I don't spend a whole lot of time in Northern Forests so it just doesn't seem likely.
-Seen the movies West Side Story, Breakfast at Tiffany's, or Cassablanca. I just never made the effort.
-Used the phrase "Hiya Sailor!" Even though my father was one and I grew up on a military base.
-Taken candy from a baby. I hate when people use that expression-that something is as easy as taking candy from a baby. How is that easy? Why would anyone want to take candy from a baby? I would never take candy from a baby. Babies like candy and so do I so why would I deprive a precious baby from eating candy? I wouldn't.
-Mountain climbed, mountain hiked, mountain biked or really anything to do with mountains. I don't have anything against mountains. In fact I love mountains, they are beautiful. I just never felt the urge to climb one, hike one, bike one or, slide down one on skis. I do enjoy a good walk but I've never been on a trek that required "gear".
-Been camping. A lot of my life is lived outdoors so people are often surprised to learn this(and the above) but basically if I can't bring a blow dryer,I won't go. Because I usually don't have a good time if I don't have access to basic electricity and/or a warm shower. One shouldn't assume that I've never "roughed it" before. I have. I just don't voluntarily vacation outdoors. Now if the definition of camping were a cabin in the woods with a warm bed and fireplace, sign me up.
-Spotaneously broken out into song. I'd like to though, I really would.
-Jumped from a high dive. I'm 100% sure that my swimming skills are enough. It's just not something I ever wanted to do.
I'm sure there's more but that's all I can think of right now.
I overheard a couple of women talking about the situation in Haiti the other day while I was waiting in line at the grocery store. One of them actually said what I am about to type. I am not joking.
"How come they need all of our money? What is wrong over there, don't they have Target or Walmart or some kind of store like that?"
yeah...
This was the first New Year that I didn't have an illness looming over me and all kinds of anxiety over upcoming appointments and it's been such a good feeling. I guess I've been celebrating my freedom a little too much. I do have bloodwork a few times a year that I'll have to stay on top for the rest of my life and routine body scans(luckily no body scan this year yay!) but that's the wonderful thing---it's just routine. I'm so thankful that I was able to start the year out that way. It truly felt like a new start. Especially since we're in a new house that we love and feel comfortable in.
It's storming outside and any minute now I might have to grab the Peanut, and run to the downstairs bathroom because there's a tornado watch. I found a really big tiger shark tooth the other day as well as other things that I wish I could be on the beach looking for....sigh. I feel like a little kid whose mom is forcing to stay indoors. I didn't even wish anyone a Happy Holiday, I was having so much damn fun. I've been gallivanting and frolicking on my now, just across the street beach. And I've been so effing exhausted from this move. I do have a peace offering. Take a look at this peeps:
