Just enough time for one quick Christmas memory post

When I was 5 years old we moved to Hawaii.(I mentioned this a million times but my high school English teacher always told us to write with the assumption that the reader just met you and has no clue about your history so here you go Mr.J) The church where we started going regularly had a Christmas party and every child under 12 received a toy. I'm guessing my mom must have signed up our names and ages because they had Santa Claus call out every one's names when it was their turn. Since I have an "A" name, I was one of the first ones called and I got to tell Santa that I was really good(which was probably a lie) and thanks for my toy. I opened my present and was pretty happy with the little yellow and white bear. Until Santa called my sister's name and she came back WITH A BARBIE. I then and there decided I HATED that yellow bear and I cried all the way home. I'm pretty sure my dad lectured me on being thankful for the gifts I'm given. Yeah, in one ear and out the other. In my defense I was 5, the youngest of four kids and used to getting hand me down toys so of course I was likely pouting about the fact that I was going to have to wait a long time for my sister to get sick of that beautiful Barbie in a pink ballgown. My parents must have either felt sorry for me or secretly agreed that what I got was LAME because that evening after dinner they went out and came home with a Malibu Barbie for me. I do have a memory of not really liking it at first because the one my sister got had cuter clothes and all mine had was a bathing suit. Until our other sister showed me the tan lines and told me this Barbie was more Hawaiian. I don't remember what became of the yellow bear. It probably ended up on that island of misfits in the Rudolph movie I still watch every year.


I'm still in the process of moving and have tons of really tedious and boring things to do but I haven't posted in a long time so I thought I would share a memory of how annoying I was as a little kid during Christmas.....I'll try to post more when this is all done.

Reunited and it feels so good

I finally got my haircut today. It's been since May but it really didn't count as a real haircut that time because I got this genius idea to try an $18 dollar place. Never again. My sister whose hair is the same length and texture as mine found a place where she lives that charges $18 without a wash and blow dry and she LOVED it, swore she'll never go anywhere else, told me I should try it out here where I live since it's a chain. I've been looking for a new place to go because I got really sick of paying $75 for someone to cut my long, straight, easy to cut hair because the girl I'd been going to for a long time ran off to Minnesota(of all places to run off to). I went to a spa place a few times and I really liked it, I even got a massage there last year while I was recovering from being off my meds for all that time and I was sore. Then another owner took over and turned the place into redneck heaven. Mind you, I love the south. I consider myself a southerner by preference and I can turn on/off my accent when need be. But when I get my haircut or any kind of beauty treatment, I don't want to feel like I'm in the middle of a HeeHaw rerun. I'm not exaggerating. They got some kind of 'company vehicle' , to advertise and impress the customers. Yeah. Hot Pink Hummers with sparkly rims don't appeal to me as a client whatsoever. If this makes me a snob, then I'm just a snob. The stylist I was used to just dissappeared one day and when I asked which salon she moved to they wouldn't tell me, I think because they were hoping I would just say ok, who else is avaliable. No thanks. I was only putting up with the hard core blue grass music and the yelling profanities back and forth between the mother and daughter owners because I liked the way she cut my hair and her price so this gave me an excuse to go somewhere else. Before that I was going to a woman who only charged me $25 and she was really good. I loved her but she decided to become a real estate agent(in this market when I have all this hair dammit!) so again I was a style orphan. Which brought me to the place my sister told me to try. Yeah. The guy they put me with was greasy, his nails were filthy and he smelled like an ash tray that hadn't been cleaned out since the days of Studio 54. And he barely cut anything and what was cut was lopsided. And he charged me $35, not the $18 my sister had me all excited about. So remember the stylist I "broke up with" that one time? In a moment of weakness I decided to go back. Best decision ever. I don't know why I ever fell out of love in the first place. Well ok I know why. It was expensive and I always felt pressured to buy ridiculously priced products when I was done. But oh man did I have beautiful hair once upon a time and it was because of her! So I had to go back. I had to. Why did I not see that before?! I mean, I get a haircut maybe 2-3 times a year. Why should I feel guilty about it? So maybe the shitty economy is actually good for something because it didn't cost me as much as before(although it was still a little pricey but I need to stay in this moment a bit longer). And all I did was say no thanks when a product was suggested for me to buy. Oh to have pretty hair again. It was beginning to look like I had just been kicked out of the Garden of Eden.


How much is too much to spend for a haircut to you guys?

Again I have no title for this post but does it really need one? Does everything in the world need a title? I think not.

I finally got over what was the worst sinus infection I ever had. There's nothing worse than being sick when it's over 90 degrees outside. Normally I grin and bear it through something like that but this was really a nasty one. One day during the peak of the worst, I was in the middle of merely making a sandwich and got exhausted just from that. I won't go anywhere near anyone who even has barely a sniffle right now. MrPea's and my trip is coming up in a few days and it's been so long since we went away together, I don't want anything to ruin it.

I thought about posting a few more pix from my trip but I'm sure ya'll aren't interested as you can pretty much guess from my last post what my trip consisted of:two silly sisters and three little boys under their sometimes questionable influence. I'm hoping to try to get back up there around Halloween.

In the mean time, my birthday present(!) arrived early(Thank you MrPea, I couldn't be happier!) so I've been trying to learn all the bells and whistles. Eventually I'll get a strong zoom lens when I begin to figure out how it all works. The basic auto stuff was pretty self explanatory but I didn't know what the hell an aperture was or what a macro lens was for and what ISO stood for but I'm having fun with it. Peanut has been my study subject matter and I'm sure he'll be happy when I start pointing that camera towards something else.

Speaking of Peanut, he has an appointment tomorrow morning at a Pet Day Care since I have no one to take care of him while we're gone. We need to take a look at the place he'll be staying and I want to make sure that he'll be comfortable and well taken care of there. It will also be a good time for them to observe his behavior around other dogs so they'll know what to expect and what kind of dogs he's compatible with during playtime. He's not a fighter but sometimes a humper so hopefully they won't hold that against him. Our ex roommates had a Yorkie who easily put him in his place when he tried to put the moves on her so I'm sure he'll behave once he figures out that the ladies don't like to be treated the way he treats his 'bear'. My standard reply to people who get surprised over the fact that he is actually neutered is usually,"Well he is a man."

Home Sweet Home

I had a good time. I miss my nephews and my sis. This picture pretty much sums up my trip and looking at it kind of breaks my heart. I'm not sure why fate saw fit to place these people so far away from me.

My flight was delayed last night so I got in really late. I also caught some kind of head cold which seems to always happen when I travel but oh well. MrPea and I were supposed to go on our own trip this week but we decided to go the week of my birthday instead. Until then I'll be nursing my cold and catching up on my sleep.

Just a few things before I leave on Sat

-I found a Power Ranger Tshirt size 5T. It's a size too big but I had to go on a damn oddessy to find it so that baby is going to have to just wear it anyway. I got souvenir tees for the older two but the little one said he likes Power Rangers so I had no choice. I went everywhere. Two different Targets-no Power Rangers. Walmart-nothing. Bealls-nope. Kohl's-uh uh. Kmart-nyet. Finally I broke down and went to the mall. Luckily, I found a Disney store and they had some. Crisis avoided. Go Power Rangers!

-The Disney Store. Um. Yeah. If you haven't had kids yet and were even contemplating the idea of pushing one out, don't go there. And for the record I feel sorry for/hold the utmost admiration for anyone who is so cursed as to have to bring a child there and doesn't end up in a straight jacket. The employees seem to know the inner demons that will be unleashed in kids upon stepping foot into that store and take advantage of it. I saw one following a poor mother around making all kinds of suggestions while the woman, who BTW was clearly on the verge of some kind of emotional breakdown, just said, "yes yes we'll get those honey," just so her kid would calm down. Yep. It's not going to be a destination for the Pea Family when I push one out. I said it. Write it down.

-The baby birds are gone. Should I be worried about that? I mean they were getting bigger and all but I can't believe they would be big enough to just fly away. Is it possible that the mother moved them to a different nest? Does that happen? Please don't say a cat got them. I mean I know it's a possibility but it would be hard for me to believe since no one in my building owns a cat and I doubt any stray would have found them. Plus I'll be heartbroken so I'll have to pretend they didn't like the noise and just moved. The nest is still there in perfect condition. I'm going to have to investigate. Their location was at the LadyNextDoorWhoHatesMe's front doorway so it's going to be hard for me to get some answers from her. I better not find out that she did something like complain about them living in her wreath.

-My trip(s)! My trip(s)! My nephews don't even know I'm coming. I don't know how my sister and I kept this secret for 3 weeks without slipping, but we have. I think she's planning to load them into the car by saying, it's a nice day, let's go for a drive. Oh man, they're all going to get pinched on the belly. One by one. MrPea's and my trip South was postponed until my birthday so I'll be home Wednesday instead of next Monday. I was dying to look for shark teeth down there, but I guess I can wait. I'll try to post while I'm gone but if I don't I hope everyone has a Great Independence day and a safe week.

Random is as Random does

-I got an email inviting me to a high school reunion. My 15th year high school reunion. Well, well, well. It's pretty odd to get an invitation in October for an event that is going to happen in June but I suppose it;s like a wedding invite where you need to plan around. I'm feeling pretty indifferent about it since I already keep in touch with the people I had wanted to and frankly don't care one way or another to hear about the rest. High school was for me as with anyone, shitty most of the time with a few really great memories. I probably can't fit back into my cheerleader uniform but I was never a huge fan of the school colors anyway. I'm not going to go and I'm not exactly sure why I should feel bad about it since everyone I've told about it says,"No! No! You should really go." It's not so much that I'm LOATHE to go, it's just I don't see the point, there's not going to be anyone there I'm dying to see and since I moved back here, I run into just about everybody anyway. Do you disagree?



-Confession: I accidentally ran over some one's newly paved driveway the other day on my bicycle. Really though, not much harm done because the pave guy(I don't know what the job title was but he was nice to me) was able to fix it since it wasn't completely dry. Still though, I felt bad about it. Absolve me Internets.


-Um. Last week while I was looking for shark teeth, this guy came up to me bragging about his find. That was fine. But when he started with his lectures and instructions about how wrong I'm going about it I had to shut him down by reaching into my pouch pocket. My smallest one was bigger than his biggest one. Does size matter? Absolutely when you've got some jerk in your face telling you what to do and talking out of his ass. I hate when men do that to me, actually everyone does this to me. Just because I'm small and smiley, I must be stupid and in need of guidance. I wrote about this before, small people of the world, you know what I'm talking about. You guys know my shark teeth prowess, I don't need to tell you guys about it.

-Speaking of shark teeth hunting, I wonder how I must look to people who may happen to look out the window and spot me. Big floppy hat, green bathing suit, pink flip flops. Yellow pouch worn sideways that my husband makes fun and says makes me look like a crossing guard. Eyes furtively looking around, head down, shoulders crunched, staggering like a drunk person, gleefully giggling with every find and quickly putting in my bag before anyone sees because I'm stingy like that. Oh and don't forget my pepper spray conspicuously clipped to my bag so as to warn Psychoman if he decides to try it. Or do I look like Psychoman?


-The other day my sister said this to me:

Her: My gawd! You went to the beach again? What the hell, Angel how many shark teeth do you need?

Me: Wellll, it's just that.....low tide was at 1.... and ...and... and the North wind is picking up so I thought...

~~~pause~~~~(defiantly) well guess what?! I'm going again tomorrow!

Her: You're going to drive yourself blind girl. You need to calm down.

Me: SO?!

Her: Didn't you just go Monday? What do you do with all those shark teeth- put them in a damn bowl and sit there whispering,"mine mine all mine?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LONG PAUSE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Me: SO!!!!?


Yeah. It's that important to me.

It's getting too serious lately, have a laugh at my expense

I don't mind.

Recently I was asked what my MOST EMBARRASSING moment of my life was. I thought, my word, do you have a few days cuz that's how long it's gonna take since I have so many. If you've been reading here for a long time(those of you who are still left) you might think it was the time I accidentally felt myself up in front of some prisoners. Um. Yeah. This kind of stuff always happens to me, be it my fault or not. But believe me, this does not even top my mortification list. I have one just as bad, maybe even worse- you decide.

The summer I lived in my very first apartment, I was 19 and I had a job at a fancy pants chocolateir shop. This place was so expensive and sheesheefoofoo, they did not even have price tags or any indicator for how much things costs. They just assume anyone shopping there has so much damn money, they know it's expensive chocolate so they don't need to ask(those were my manager's exact words). I loved making the chocolate and dipping the strawberries, pretzels all that stuff- I did everything. I put all the assortment boxes together and wrapped the solid forms with plastic wrap and ribbons. I even made ice cream. And truffels, OMG the truffels ok? The best perk was that I could eat anything I wanted as long as I didn't take it out of the store. Yes, you guys, an all you can eat chocolate buffet. I hearted this job. I didn't even mind that they made me wear a really ugly hot pink hat. Because it was such a small store, I worked mostly alone and I had my own key to the place so I could close up the shop on my own after weekday evening shifts and open the store on my Sunday shifts. I was the only girl employee. And one thing started to bother me about being the only girl employee. After about 2 months I started to notice my coworkers were not cleaning up after themselves and leaving HUGE, DISGUSTING messes for me to clean up at the end of their shifts. Anyone out there ever clean up gobs of dried chocolate stuck to the floor? Not to mention the squished strawberries and nuts mixed in. It's not a whistle while you work kind of task. It took a while but, I finally got up the nerve to do something about it. I complained about it and my manager said that it's always the responsibility of the person who closes to clean up. I said,"No. When I work in the mornings, you guys always have a clean area when you come in because I clean up after myself. Fair is fair. I'm not every body's wife or mommie, I shouldn't have to clean up other people's sloppiness. Of course the store needs to be clean at close up, but this is food we're making here when it comes down to it and this room is disgusting." This was pretty bold of me, because I am a really passive person who's always too shy to rock the boat but that's how bad it was. But for a while it was ok. Then they got lazy again and this time I was ignored and treated like a whiny little girl. It started to make me feel more timid to even say anything at that point cuz I needed that job. So the day I knew I had another job lined up I went to eat lunch with my sister and was working myself up into such a state talking about that I finally said," that's it! I'm not going back there, not even to give those jerks a two weeks notice!" Of course because of how belittling he was to me the last time, I was too timid to just call my manager and say I quit, I'm not coming back. So me and my sister came up with this wonderful plan for her to call him and say, " Angel had to leave the country for a family funeral, she doesn't know when she'll be back." So she did. Big problem. I needed to pick up my last pay check and give them my key. Of course once again, I'm too chicken to do it because I just couldn't take his smartass smirk PLUS I'm supposed to be out of town remember? So my sister volunteers to do it for me but I have to come with her and hide in the car. We were too stupid at the time to park in the parking lot behind the building because my genius plan was just to crouch down in the car so no one could see me. My sister went in and came out empty handed because she said they refuse to give a check to any other person but me. So we're sitting there arguing back and forth because I wanted her to go back in there and demand my check as my sister and tell them all to screw themselves because obviously someone like me who crouches in a car so as not to be seen doesn't have enough nerve. We're still arguing about what to do next and I hear a tap tap on my window. There's my now former boss standing next to the car with my check. I said,"oh," and rolled down the window and he gave it to me not speaking. We then slowly drove away in hu-mil-i-a-tion. I can still see his smartass smirk in the rear view mirror to this day.

Yep. Big lesson learned: never lie in the place of sticking up for yourself. I should have easily sauntered in and told every one of those jerks where to go.

Too quiet

The house is too quiet now. I got used to my nephew's chatter. I tried unsuccessfully to get him to say,"thank you," just so I could tell him in the future that he learned his good manners from me. It was a long shot since one year olds don't normally know how to pronounce double consonants. I did hear,"mama", now and then. I guess that's a more important word and easier to learn.

Surprisingly(or unsurprisingly), Peanut did not attempt to hump anything or anyone during the entire visit and I was very pleased about that. He did attempt some thieving of Nilla Wafers but they were already on the floor and I'm sure I saw him sticking his nose into my sister's backpack looking for something to steal but I'd rather live with a thief than an a compulsive humper for a pet. So I was ok with that. I also was not in any position to have to change any poopy diapers and I was very pleased about that as well. I'm still suffering from PTSD since the last time.

When my nephew was born he was the spitting image of yours truly. Now he doesn't resemble me at all. Is it weird to say that it hurts my feelings? But it's ok since he does look like my Grandpa all the way down to the round, sticking out, Santa Claus belly. This morning I woke up almost expecting to hear giggling and babbling. I wandered into the room where they were staying with a little broken heart because there was no giggling little one holding his arms up to me. My bed cushions smell like baby lotion and corn starch powder and my arms are missing that heavy, fat bellied baby who loved me most when he was in trouble with mommy.

I guess I should mention that I miss my sister too :O)

I have been a neglectful blogstress

These photos are my excuse. But I don't feel the least bit of guilt over it.

The effect I have on boys

Yep.

A Boyfriend for Neenee?-this is a 're-run' she wanted me to re-post so that we could make fun of him all over again. Enjoy!

Neenee didn't have her internet hooked up at the time this was originally posted so she wanted to me to re-post it. We still haven't gotten over the grossed-out-ness this gave us. The story behind this, if you've never seen it before is, this guy is a friend of a friend. When he heard that she was getting a divorce, this was his way of requesting a date. He sent this picture to her cell phone with the charming words of,"So when are we going out?"

Um, How about never?


I DON'T THINK SO!!!

As promised here is the picture of the idiot who thinks sending naked pictures of himself is the way to a girl's heart.


Hey Romeo! Let me give you a little tip-my sister doesn't want you ok? She might be too polite to say it frankly-but FRRRANKLY(and luckily)-I'm not. And sending her this picture thoroughly grossed us out. I'm sure you're really proud of yourself to have actually taken the time to pose and primp for her and maybe this sort of behavior works with the kind of women you're used to but you're not her type. What is her type? Well number 1-not you. Number 2-the opposite of you. Number 3-men who don't send pictures of themselves thinking the recipient will be too filled with desire to be grossed out by the fact that a total stranger just sent her a creepy naked photo. You know, really, we feel sorry for you-because you're delusional-we can tell that you're really impressed with yourself-it's obvious you take care of yourself-but maybe no one has put you in your place before or rejected you. And guess what, Mr.Ienjoysendingnakedpicturesofmyself. You're not as hot as ya think and by the way the disco era is over-crazy cool medallions should be put away or reserved only for gangsta rappers.......I'm sure I haven't hurt your feelings and that you'll go on with your life thinking you're hot-hot-hot, but I just thought you should know. For future reference: a simple,"hi how are you, would you like to join me for lunch?" is usually the best way to go if you want to date an actual person with a working brain.



She also wanted me to mention that he's from New Jersey, sells insurance, and he drives a BMW in case there are any ladies out there who might be interested in his hot-beefcake-action....

In trouble

This is one of my mom's favorite pictures. I was about 4 or 5 and I still remember when she took it. We were staying in a hotel because my dad was in the Navy and we were moving to Hawaii. At the time, I didn't think it was funny because it was our older brother's fault that we were even in trouble and you don't see any boys in this picture do you? What was the crime that we committed? I believe it was jumping on the bed and throwing paper airplanes when we were supposed to be getting ready for bed.

To this day, I still say we were unjustly punished. My brother got to watch tv while we had to stare at the wall. AND he was the one jumping on the bed and throwing paper airplanes and making all kinds of noise, NOT US.(we didn't even know how to make paper airplanes,but no one believed us) I use this as proof that we had a strict upbringing because for whatever reason most people in our extended family think we grew up as spoiled, undisciplined brats..... As if they never met my dad. That polka-dot ruffled dress is a perfect example of my 5 year old personality.