A skink(not a skank)

I took Peanut to a park yesterday and noticed a funny looking lizard.



My field guide says it a striped racerback anole but I've heard people call them skinks.


**Correction: it's not an anole, it's a Rainbow Blue Tailed Skink. oops

I waited for Noah's Ark(last week)

We went to the beach a few days ago right before the weather got really bad. The waves weren't THAT big yet but the tide was really high and as you can see from my hair, it was pretty windy.

The rain was coming down sideways, as you can see my shirt got wet but I didn't care. The air smelled so fresh.

Look how dark it was to the South compared to looking Northward. That's how I knew the worst wasn't even here yet.

We were lucky though. There wasn't any flooding in my neighborhood.

These two were taken about a week before the storm but since we're on a Noah's Ark theme here, they seem fitting. Even if it is out of correct order. I mean the rainbow did appear after a big storm, just not this one. I woke from a nap and there it was in my window.

If you look closely, it was actually a double rainbow.

And did I find any shark teeth over the weekend? Yes, I did. Yes. I. Did.

Fay, my foe (and my friend?)

We are in the midst of a tropical storm/hurricane situation and everyone on the news has been freaking out. Please. I hate when they do that. My Olympics are being interrupted every 5 minutes and they keep trying to scare everyone. And our stupid weatherman seems to be peeing in his pants with glee over getting to be on Special Weather updates. Of course he never has anything definitive to say because no one can really predict this kind of weather with exact certainty. I can easily look at the radar and make just as good a guess as he can. It's not like he works for NASA. But I can tell he's enjoying his chance to be everyone's hero.....Of course I have a beef with our local weatherman- he was a jerk to me once at Burger King when I was 12 but that's another story.

I'm not one to take a hurricane lightly but I lived in Palm Beach during the '04 and '05 seasons. So this is like a walk in the park for salty dogs like us in comparison. You prepare, stay alert, and evacuate if you're told- that's all one can do. I heard a good rule of thumb once: Run from water, hide from wind. Meaning if you're in a flood zone, leave. If not, board up, supply yourself, and hunker down.(Of course this does not apply if you happen to live in a trailer. In that case, run anyway.) Trust me, as close to the ocean as I live, if a big one was coming, Peanut and I will be kicking up some dust on our way out because MrPea enjoys a good scary storm. But this, we can handle.

I've only seen pictures but the sea is so angry right now. You can only imagine how much I'm dying inside to get to the beach and look for shark teeth. The rain, I can handle but I'm not very good at riding a bike in 25-40 mph wind gusts. If only this hurricane/tropical storm- whatever the hell it is they're calling it this hour would finish up. Of course I don't want anyone to get hurt and I'd just as soon celebrate if suddenly there were no such things as hurricanes. Right now though, in my most selfish moments I'm going crazy with excitement conjuring up all kinds of images of big shark teeth washing up on that angry shore.....sigh.

Um. Ok. Again.

I've been trained by my Grandmother in the matter of social situations and small talk so I'm probably one of the most polite people you'll ever meet. I often find myself in conversations like this screaming with laughter on the inside but smiling sweetly on the outside.Remember this? I think I met one of her relatives at a party my husband talked me into going recently. He was pretty creepy and BTW staring at everyone's breasts.

Creepy: I live in -------.

Me: Really that's not far from me. I recently saw a piece on the news about the beach erosion there. Is that near you?

Creepy: No but I wish the county would do something about that.

Me: Well I think since it's a private beach, the county can't really do anything about it. It's a shame though, those homes are going to fall right into the sea, it looks like.

Creepy: Yeah. Nobody knows what hell's the problem over there.

Me: Well I wrote a theory about it once for a Marine Biology project when I was in college. Our class did some measuring in that area and given our findings, we came to believe it may be due to development and the jetties blocking the natural flow of sand from the North. It was a really interesting study.

Creepy:(loudly) NO! NO! NO! That's not it.

Me: Oh. ok.

Creepy: You couldn't be more wrong. You're totally wrong. That's not it.

Me: Oh. I wasn't saying that I knew for....

Creepy: Yeah you got it all wrong, you don't know what you're talking about.

Me: Oh.....um....are you an Oceanographer?

Creepy: No I don't even know what the hell an Oceanographer does.


(still expecting him to say he's in the field of someone with more knowledge about beach erosion)
Me: Oh what do you do?

Creepy:(sarcastically) I'm an accountant.

Me: Um. Ok.

Random Fitness

-I recently commented about this on Maury's post last week so if it looks familiar bear with me. Sometimes I jog at a park and sometimes I work out in the 'fitness room' of my neighborhood clubhouse. Lately with the rain and lack of transportation I've been in the fitness room. Now I've told ya'll before that my neighborhood is 80% senior citizens right? Ok I live in Florida, that's how it goes. Not that this bothers me. I rather prefer it to living in a more trendy area. My neighborhood is quiet, Peanut gets all kinds of pats and kisses, I usually have the pool to myself, and I get all kinds of Grandma advice and cooking tips. The older men who use the fitness room however are a little, um, too competitive. I'm not a damn Olympic athlete, I exercise to stay strong and healthy. In fact I truly believe from my whole cancer experience, I had a fast recovery because of how healthy I was to begin with. I jog a couple miles, maybe get on the stair climber for a few minutes and that's it. I don't really do weights too much, I don't "body sculpt" or any of that crap. Sometimes I only do one mile or if I'm tired, I'll walk a quick 10 minutes. These men, I'm telling you, are going to give themselves heart attacks trying to outdo each other and, YES even me. Every time I go in there, there's one guy who, when I get on the treadmill, waits until I get to my fastest speed and then puts his higher and higher, smirking at me all the while. I'm 4'11", ok? It doesn't take steroids to outrun, outdo, outlast me ok Mister? The other two make a big deal out of lifting and make sure we can all hear their grunting and huffing noises. Sometimes I get grossed out because it sounds very, ahem, sexual.

-I'm sort of lazy and I HATE routine exercise. I like the way I feel right after and but.... It's so boring. That's why I started going to the park because I've heard people say it's better outside. No it's not. Still sucks.

-In order to make sure I work out, I usually put my exercise clothes on as soon as I get up. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I skip the whole thing and go to the beach instead.

-And please don't mistake me for someone who eats only healthy things. I don't like sugar-free, fat-free crap. I like fried chicken and gravy dammit. And real ice cream and real Oreo cookies. I like sugar and cream in my coffee please. A friend of mine is obsessed with all that Splenda sugar substitutes and fat free diet stuff. She pays over a hundred and thirty dollars a month for this ridiculous pyramid scheme "health" drink. I found the same ingredients at the GNC store for around $35. I didn't buy it, I don't believe in all that stuff. I take a multivitamin and eat real food. I have a bigger appetite than she does too and I still maintain a healthy weight. I've been telling her for years all those chemicals they put in "sugar-free" and "fat-free" stuff are actually worse than the natural fats and sugars our bodies are accustomed to digesting so you might as well just have the real thing. Just don't eat it in buckets. Of course she at least stopped using sugar substitutes but not because I told her to but because some man told her. This gets on my nerves for some reason.

I forgot to show ya'll this

My BFF's baby brother(say that 5 times really fast) showed us his secret fishing spot a couple weeks ago. BTW he is well into his twenties but he will always be W's baby brother to me since I've known him since he was 4 and had a raspy voice. Anyway, I'm not allowed to say exactly where this is but check it out. We weren't there five minutes when he had already caught a small snapper. But he put it back in the water because it was so small.

I was intrigued by the fact that it was so sandy and rocky on one side, full of marsh on the other. Well the big rocks were obviously not originally there before.

I wasn't expecting to find or even looking for shark teeth since we were on the intra-coastal but I found a tiny one. My friend found a bigger one which I think was a sand tiger shark tooth but I forgot to snap a photo of hers. This was the only one I found. I imagine this is one of the shark 'nurseries' I learned about in high school.

There was also a bunny who hopped away as soon as I aimed my camera but the view sans bunny is just as pretty.

It was a cloudy day but not bad all the same.

Will I come back here? Of course. But I promised not to tell anyone where it is exactly......

oops

I sort of, accidentally had coffee today.(NOT!)

I was feeling a little slow because of the HUGE lunch I pigged out on and I accidentally thought to myself, "wouldn't a cup of coffee be nice?" It was raining outside and it seemed like a nice, cozy thing to do. Of course I meant decaf since it's been months since my last caffeine cup of coffee. I even have some half and half I bought to use in my mac-n-cheese recipe. Ok.

I accidentally never threw away the big canister of caramel flavored coffee my inlaws bought when they were here a couple months ago. So it was by complete accident that it was still next to the coffee maker. I also accidentally put the decaf on a shelf that I could not reach last time I was reorganizing because the canister is not as cute as the caramel one is. I accidentally hurt my leg power walking with Peanut yesterday so obviously climbing the stool for the decaf was out of question even though my other leg is in perfectly good condition. So I accidentally brewed several cups of wonderfully smooth CAFFEINE coffee and accidentally drank 2 cups, enjoying every caramel flavored drop. Oh what a klutz I am.....right?

My recent CAT

My CAT scan that is. I had one this morning as a follow up to the bump they saw on my liver this past winter. I really don't have any horror stories to report. My tech was really nice and spoke French so I got to practice . He also didn't have to stab me several times for my IV like last time. I'm still irritated about that even though it was months ago because I've got excellent veins. But this time it didn't hurt and I didn't start crying in self pity.

Ok I did a little but only for 5 seconds because I had to pay attention to the little cartoon guy on the machine telling me when to breathe and when to hold my breathe. It was cute.

Of course I did NOT enjoy the 'drink' prep they gave me. Again it was disgusting but I only gagged once. I guess I was not as shocked by the nasty flavor and consistency as last time. My stomach's been angry all day though.

And yes, I did experience the peeing-in-your-pants sensation and freaked out a little but not as bad as before. I didn't yell or anything, I just had to keep telling myself to be still and to stop worrying because I did not pee in my pants. Yep.

Bra Shopping

I've been a little sad since yesterday. I had to hug BFF and her daughter goodbye. We promised not to cry but I can never keep that promise. I purposely didn't go with them to the airport for that very reason. We've known each other since we were 8 so we are pretty close. I'll try to visit them this Spring if all is well for me health-wise. I can't think of anything funny or amusing to add to this paragraph.


To cheer myself up, I went shopping today. Bra shopping. Are you thinking that's the wrong thing to shop for to cheer one's self up? You'd be thinking correctly then. I hate those places. Yeah, put up a bunch of photos of women I'll never look like and use mannequins with bodies no Earthling is born with. Did I buy anything? Of course. Why? Because I share a first name with some of their bras and I can never resist something that has my name on it. Not because of vanity, mind you. It is to make up for the fact that when I was growing up I could never find anything with my name on it. All my other little friends had personalized pencils, erasers, and stickers. Not me. Of course that was back when everyone was named Jennifer, Lisa, Heather, John-- you know, normal names. I always thought people were so damn smug about being able to buy stuff with their name on it. Now of course I can find my name on stuff. I found a key chain with my name on it at Sea World last week. I wonder if people will continue with the whole "unique names" trend. Will they start selling key chains that say Apple on them? I sort of hope they do just so I can stop being so damn smug myself over a 3 dollar key chain.

Since I originally was talking about bra shopping and then got off subject I need to return to the hell that is lingerie shopping. I read somewhere that women in France spend a big percentage of their incomes on lingerie. Can someone tell me what kind of drugs they are on so that I can ask my doctor for them? Why does Victoria's SecretHell use the pinkest light they can find to accentuate every bump and fold on a woman's body? What woman wants to look at herself under those lights? And what is up with the kiddieporn clothing they call their "Pink" line. If I wanted to look like a ten year old I could just shop in the kid's section at Target and save 75%. Am I the only one who hates the fluorescent pink and yellow polkadots and stripes? I guess I'm just old and don't get it anymore. Last time I was there, the woman "helping" me said all my bras I wanted to try on were wrong , then felt me up and told me I was a different size. She told me to give her the ones I was holding and pulled out a drawer and put it in my dressing room and told me to try those ones instead. I thought," Oh how nice, she gave me a bunch of stretched bras everyone else with bigger boobs have already left their amoebas on for me. And all the bras are black, a color I never wear, thank you lady. Employee of the year." When I opened the door to tell her I tried on and hated everything in the drawer, she was gone. With all my bras I had originally picked out also gone. I was assuming she was switching out the sizes for me so when she came back I asked her where they were. She said she put them away. Great. I told her I can't really judge what bra is for me or not because I don't like black bras since I wear white a lot, plus these ones in the drawer are all stretched out. She told me they use black because it's neutral. Ok last time I checked,nude or beige was neutral so I told her I had picked out nude and white bras because THOSE WERE THE COLORS I WAS INTERESTED IN BUYING not black. She just gave me a blank look. At that point I had already been there for 45 minutes(with poor husband patiently waiting) and was so irritated I just left. This time I ignored the stupid drawer sales technique and thankfully, because I swear my bras are ancient it's been that long, I found a couple I liked. The thing is, I left thinking, "I should have just bought a new damn lipstick to cheer myself up instead of looking at myself under those pink lights all afternoon." BTW, as I suspected, the stupid sizing thing they did was wrong. I am NOT a ( bra size omitted for privacy/embarrassment)! I am a ( bra size omitted for privacy/embarrassment)! Oh and the bras I bought were the ones I had picked out myself the first time before genius sales lady "helped" me last time.


Ok and before anyone starts to feel sorry and the need to defend genius sales lady please don't. I was nice to her. It's just that I've worked in retail sales before. I wasn't pushy, I didn't have a "technique" , I left people alone. I was very good at it and I made a lot of money. How? By not taking items out of a customer's hands that she's obviously interested in and offering putrid germful things in undesirable colors to try on instead.

I've seen the gates to hell

It is an Orlando theme park. I went to Sea World the other day with my best friend, her daughter and brother. We drove down to spend the day at the new Sea World water park called Aquatica. We were there a little later than planned because of a crisis involving Peanut, his mouth, and a dead mouse/rat/mole/thing in it--a story anyone who has a dog already has so I won't gross you guys out with the details. When we arrived, the water park was at full capacity so they weren't letting anyone else in. Our passes were all access so we walked around Sea World for a while. Ok, if you've ever been to Sea World with me, you would know, that confined animals make me cry. Confined animals trained to perform tricks for people and their screaming kids make me cry even more. The last time I was at Sea World was 5 years ago with same best friend and daughter. I had to push it down for her sake, after all she was only 4. Luckily for me no one was interested in seeing any shows this time. Not that the shows are bad, mind you. The night show with the fireworks was actually pretty cool. I remember they had it timed so that Shamu was jumping out of the water at precisely the same time a big firework was going off. But like I said, it's not my cup of tea.
We waited in line for about 45 minutes, short by theme park standards, to ride the Atlantis rollercoaster/water thing. Basically you go through some tunnels while Mermaid holograms turn from charming to Medusa-like ending with a steep plunge into water. Ok I'll admit, fun. And I'll admit that I was scared of it.

At about 2, the water park reopened so we hurried over to catch the shuttle bus. Ok I love water parks, I do. But can I just tell you guys about the feet smells? Yeah. And the food, good lord the food! And the 7 dollar bottled water? Oh and I forgot to tell you about the 10 year old we passed by cussing out his mother on our way to rent a locker. yeah

I'm scared to death of the dark. Ok. You guys know this, I'm not ashamed to admit it. So why did I wait 30 minutes in line to get on a slide that is pitch black all the way down? I swear it took everything I had inside not to have a full fledged panic attack. I got in, they said go, I went. I thought,"Omigawd,what-am-I-gonnado?!What-am-I-gonnado?! Ok breath, breathe, breathe. I'll be done in two seconds, Omigosh! Omigosh!" When I finally got out, I was so mad at myself for not figuring out that it would be dark in that BLACK CLOSED IN TUBE. I hate that slide and anyone who's not afraid of it.

I had so much fun but my ankles and feet have been sore ever since I got home. Lesson learned: it's probably a bad idea to wear wedge high heeled flip flops to a big theme park, no matter how cute they look--AND don't exfoliate your feet too much the night before lest you sloth off all the protective skin on your feet if you don't enjoy foot torture. And I've been having nightmares of being trapped in a dark watery tube that smells like feet.

Oh! And I also went here last week. Me and my BFF's yearly tradition. I brought a water proof cam with me but I've been too lazy to get them developed at Tar-jay. Soon guys.

Saw a Lady At the Beach

 

Maybe she was looking for shark teeth too.

Happy Birthday to ME!

 

I'm 32 today.

Check out my Wordle!

You have to click to enlarge because I don't know how to make it bigger.
I cut and pasted a bunch of sentences from my post about my trip to the beach. This wordle is so me.

Got this link over at The Eleventh with MaryMurtz!

Click here if you want to create one on your own.

Update*
Mary helped me with this--(thanks again)
So now no one has to click to enlarge....

yay! that's better

Man I just love nerdy stuff like this.

On grudges

I have a tendency to hold grudges for a long time. But only for certain people. Usually it's someone I know I'm never going to see ever again. This probably makes it easier for me to hold on to them. And 99% of my grudges are from when I was a little kid.

For example(s)

-When I was about 7 I accidentally knocked over a 3 or 4 year old girl. I was on a swing going very fast and she just ran in front of me before I could stop or slow down. Needless to say, I hit her pretty hard with my feet and she fell down crying. Of course I felt awful. Her mom yelled at me in Japanese. I don't speak Japanese so obviously I don't know what she yelled to me but I'm pretty sure it was in the ballpark area of," You stupid little girl, why did you kick my child!" She yelled at me so loud and angrily that I started crying. Looking back though, that woman should have been paying better attention to her child instead of blaming me, a 7 year old. They were walking right in front of me, they HAD to have seen me swinging since I was the only one on the damn swing. So yeah, I don't forgive that lady for yelling at me.

-I have a tablet that I used when I was in the first grade for spelling tests and grammar. My teacher, whose name I remember, Mrs. Nishii, marked one of my answers wrong that I know for sure is right. And it's not so much that she just made an innocent mistake, it's that she crossed out the entire answer with her red marker and did not give me a happy face stamp next to all the correct answers like she usually did and made me rewrite my sentence with the wrong answers circa Dan Quayle and the way he spelled "potatoe". So I'm still mad at you, Mrs. Nishii.

-Someone, and you know who you are, was "worried" about how bad my handwriting was. This same person, who I will not name, promised to give me 50dollars at the end of the 3rd grade school year if I kept a promise to hold my pencil differently. So long-story-short, basically I did change the way I held a pencil, now have even worse handwriting to this day, and I still never saw my 50 dollars. Yup, mad about that too.

-Oh yeah, same person who ripped me off on the 50 dollars, 3 years before had pretended to write me a check for a million dollars for my birthday when I was 5. I totally believed it for a few minutes only to be disappointed that, no, I was not actually a millionaire on my birthday. You'd think that would have taught me.

-And one more for the road. We had just moved from Hawaii to Florida into a new house and all of us were in new schools. It was understandably an adjustment for everyone. So my dad took the whole family to see a counselor. The counselor started with her speech about how all families have sore spots and we need to work together to communicate with love. I remember this very well. So she went around asking everyone what issue they would like to address and told us beforehand that we had to be respectful to whatever everyone's answer was. So when it came time for me, I said I was sick of being picked on all the time just because I was the youngest. She wanted me to be more specific and asked exactly how I was getting picked on, tell how it made me feel and explore what I , a effing 8 year old, could do to help my attitude about being the brunt of everyone's jokes. So I said I wanted everyone to stop laughing at my hair and calling me "afro-head," or"poodle girl," and that it hurt my feelings. Yes I was vain about my hair even then. I had just got a perm, a Christmas gift from my grandma and at times it was a little on the poofy side in the Florida humidity. So what happened after this came out of my mouth? After all the BS that woman fed us about respecting everyone's answers and communicating with love? LAUGHTER. The whole room, including, that bitch counselor. And she did not stick up for me nor remind everyone that I had stayed silent during everyone else's discussion. Utter laughter. OK I don't blame my family, that's why we were there. To learn. And she didn't do her job, she laughed at me with everyone else, thus encouraging the getting picked on and laughed at. Yeah, so she's forever in the I hate you club.



Want more? Oh I have more, I promise. But all this injustice has made me tired. Do you have any grudges? Tell me here, after all it is Tuesday.

Dead Jelly

What's wrong with this picture?

Well I'll tell you. Some idiot in charge of the golf course across the lake from my neighborhood decided to chop down a dead palmetto tree. Every time I walk by I curse him/her for doing this because this is where my osprey would perch every morning to survey her territory. Now I never see her anymore and have no idea where she hangs out so I feel like I've lost my little morning friend/protector.

This is the before picture.

I will not go on a rant but this is why I disapprove of golf courses. Some stupid person decided that a hollowed out palm is not aesthetic to the golfers and cut down my osprey's favorite dead tree. Bastards!

Because I have blogger's blo(g)ck

I stole this from Suebob


The ABCs of Me

Accent: Slightly Southern, but I can turn it off and on when need be.

Breakfast or no breakfast: Everyday. Cereal in the summer, hot oatmeal with a pinch of brown sugar in the winter.

Chore I don’t care for: Dishes, bathroom cleaning, cooking, ok all of it.

Dog or Cat: I have a dog but I like cats too.


Essential Electronics: Camera. I never leave home without one.

Favorite Cologne: Not sure. I like soapy or citrus scents.

Gold or Silver: Silver.

Handbag I carry most often: It's a white leather Micheal Kors brand-not that brand matters but I liked it.

Insomnia: All through high school. I'm still so traumatized by the fact that I had such bad insomnia back then that I'm very sensitive about how much sleep I get and being disturbed.

Job Title: Queen of the Universe--um hello, did you see my profile?

Kids: Not now. Maybe not ever. I change my mind every day.

Living Arrangements: A husband and a dog in a condo by the sea. Outnumbered by males in this house dammit.

Most Admirable Trait: I'm not sure. My loyalty.

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: Sneaking out of the house at night to go to my BFF's house so we could jump on the trampoline. Oh we also used to steal her mom's car. We also got suspended from school for throwing Nerds(the candy) at boys on the bus. Pretty exciting stuff huh.


Overnight hospital stays: Story of my life lately.

Phobias: Please! I'm scared of everything. Ghosts including but not limited to evil spirits, clowns, serial killers, darkness, sharks, alligators, Psychoman.

Quote: "We cannot live without the Earth or apart from it, and something is shriveled in a man's heart when he turns away from it and concerns himself only with the affairs of men"
-Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, (Cross Creek)

Reason to smile: I smile all the time. No one can ever guess what you're thinking.


Siblings: 2 sisters, 1 brother. I'm the baby.

Time I wake up: Whenever Peanut wakes up, around 8 but I am NOT a morning person.

Unusual Talent or Skill: I'm freakishly strong for my size and I have a unusually good long term memory.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: Seaweed. It's gross.



Worst Habit: Procrastination.

X-rays: Soon.

Yummy Stuff: Home-made mac and cheese. Double stuff Oreos.

Zoo Animal I Like Most: Elephants. Snakes.

Feel free to steal this anyone.

My Sweetheart's Heart

No news is NOT good news but at least I have some news. After all the tests my husband has what appears to be a healthy heart. But while he was in the hospital a dangerously low resting heart rate was detected which may explain what happened. Hopefully a good cardiologist and who ever else we need to see can answer the hows, whys, and what do we need to dos. For the sake of Mr.Pea's privacy and my anxiety, I won't talk about it too much after today. Normalcy is what we both want so I have promised him and myself that I will keep my dark fears to a minimum and return to my sunny side up self.

(But can I just tell you guys, that I feel even more anxiety now that he's home than I did while he was in the hospital. I didn't think a higher level than what I was experiencing was even possible but apparently my anxiety knows no bounds when I'm worried about someone. I'm sure that it's a release of some kind because the whole time I was trying to stay calm and hold it all together which is what I tend to do during a crisis. Now that he's home, the rest of my repressed nerves picked up some hammers and started banging my system. I think I have a healthy attitude about it though, I'm sort of just letting it happen because I know it will abate after a little while. Exercise helps a lot and today we got in some good beach time. Luckily MrPea is on vacation this week so we'll spend some good time together. Ok I won't say anymore about it...)

I want to say thanks to everyone who left a kind word for me and private emails. You internets are so nice...I luveth ya'll...expect some more vis'tin from me soon.


Oh and on another upbeat note. Peanut(canine member of the "Sick" family) had his follow up appointment today and Doc says he gets a clean bill of health. Finally!

When the table turns

I've had the most exhausting two days. My Mr.Pea may or may not have had a heart attack Saturday. We went to the hospital at 3AM yesterday when he woke me up because he was feeling chest pressure,pain in his left arm, and couldn't breathe. He's been there ever since and as anyone can imagine, I haven't had much sleep. They've been performing several tests and hopefully, we'll get some answers this evening. Actually every test they've given him has turned up healthy but with his family history and the symptoms, all arrows point in a direction I don't even want to think about. The words to describe how I feel right now don't exist.

I can handle and kick my cancer's ass. I can go to the hospital and put up with radiation, all those f-ing pills,and being poked and examined. But it's different when it's someone close to me with a possibility of having a worse condition. My husband. Who never gets sick. Who always has a better heart rate than me and I exercise everyday! Who surfs 7 hours straight no problem. Who never even sweats when it's 97 degrees outside. Never goes to the doctor, never even gets a damn stomach ache. Seeing him in a hospital gown and all those wires....I can't even finish that sentence.

He says he's ok and doesn't even feel bad anymore. Laughs at me when I start crying. Wants to come home. He's not even acting sick. Still though, it's been hard and I'm just trying to keep it together and stay positive.

Trying not to scratch myself into a coma

Guess who has hives again. Yep, it's me. At least the good news out of it is that now I know exactly how I got them the first time. Banana Boat Baby. Do not buy this product if you or your child has sensitive skin and DO NOT put it on your baby. It's what gave me hives.
In fact I think it's the tool of the devil. I have a rash all over my arms, on my ears and neck and that's where I put it on the other day to go jogging. Luckily I didn't put any on my face this time because my regular moisturizer already has SPF15. And I do remember using that same sunscreen the day before my last allergic reaction. So the face is ok but the arms look like pink sandpaper. Nice.